This Time Around (Maybe)

CHAPTER Eleven

Taiya

I rub my forehead, willing the headache away. Why did I drink so much last night? Oh, right, I was both trying to not think about Ryan and gathering courage to finally face him at the same time. I roll over, digging my face into my soft feather pillow. Luckily, I don’t have to work today, and I don’t have anything planned apart from cleaning my apartment and dinner with my mum.
The talk today with Ryan didn’t go as I’d envisioned. I wanted to keep him at arm’s length, listen to his excuses, but not let them change my mind about not wanting to be with him. The bottom line was that I saw him, with her wrapped around him, their lips connected. I can’t get that picture out of my head, no matter how much I want to. Some other women might feel differently, and think, well, it’s only a kiss. But to me, it was something more.
Ryan and I were each other’s first kisses. Until that moment, I was the only woman he’d ever kissed. Maybe that was why he did it. Maybe he wanted to experiment, to see what it was like to kiss another woman. I don’t know what was going on in his head, and the truth was, I never let him tell me so I could figure it out. I know I should have heard him out, been rational, but after witnessing that, I kind of blocked it out. My walls instantly went up, and to be honest, I kind of felt sorry for myself. Was it something I did? Why her? All these kinds of questions ran through my head, and then after a while, I just got plain pissed off. No, it wasn’t my fault. No there is nothing wrong with me. It was his decisions, and his actions, his mistake. I don’t control his actions, he does. I like to think of myself as a strong woman, so when I started questioning myself, I felt as though I was losing myself. Like I had become weak, and so dependent on Ryan that I couldn’t function without him. That’s why I left. I needed to get away, sort my shit out, and stop sulking. Women’s hearts get broken every day. So I became a statistic. Other women got through it, and so could I. Our conversation resurfaced old wounds, and we didn’t even get to finish it.
Stretching my arms over my head and arching my back, I slide into a sitting position. Last night was really fun. It was so good to catch up with Reid, and Summer was a blast. Reid really hit the jackpot with that one. Isis had a good time too, if the table dancing was any indication. I’m surprised she ended up going home alone after all the male attention she was getting. One guy tried to get grabby with me and Reid quickly stepped in, handling the situation like a pro. I don’t think anyone with a penis dared to even look at Summer with the protective vibes Reid was throwing off. I’ve never seen him act like that before in all the years that I’ve known him. I think it’s freaking cute how he calls Summer ‘beauty,’ and he’s also majorly bulked up and now looks like a badass. I made him dance with me to one song, and when it was over, he spoke to me about Ryan. There, in the middle of a club, we have a deep and meaningful. I love my brother-in-law. Reid and I had always been close, throughout high school, and after, when Ryan and I married. It sucked having to cut him out of my life when I left Ryan. I thought he’d be mad at me, but surprisingly he wasn’t.
I force myself to get out of bed, and head straight for the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Isis says, her voice thick with sleep. She’s wearing a plain white T-shirt that reaches mid-thigh and that’s it.
“Morning,” I mumble, grabbing some water out of the fridge.
“Did you have fun last night?” she asks, eyeing me curiously.
“I did. You?” I ask, after I swallow a mouthful of water.
She chews her toast and swallows before she replies, “I had a blast.”
“Yes, the table dancing kind of gave that away,” I tease, my lips curving slightly.
She laughs. “Good times.”
“I’ll bet. I saw you talking to Tag,” I say, lifting my brow.
“How f*cking hot is he?” she says, her eyes flaring. “How did it go with Ryan? I hope you guys made up.”
I guess my silence was answer enough. “Seriously?” she says slowly, dragging out the word.
“It’s complicated.”
“I bet Tag’s really uncomplicated,” she says, a dreamy look on her face.
I laugh, knowing how far from the truth that is. “Did he seem interested?”
“Do you even have to ask me that?” she says, mock pouting.
“Sorry, I forgot how modest you were,” I tell her, my voice laced with sarcasm.
She blinks at me twice. “Is that an old shirt of Ryan’s?” she asks, staring at my T-shirt. It used to be his favourite T-shirt and I took to sleeping in it. I still do.
My face heats. “Yes.”
“You have it bad, girl,” she says, shaking her head.
I clear my throat. “We’ll see.”
“What’s the plans for today?” she asks, cutting up a mango.
“Cleaning, remember. Then I’m going to check on Mum and have dinner with her.”
She sighs heavily, “I hate cleaning.”
“I know you do.” That’s why I never go into her room unless it’s a life or death situation. On the plus side, she’s pretty handy in the kitchen, so I don’t mind picking up her slack with cleaning, because she picks up mine with cooking.
I glance at the time. “It’s already one, holy shit.”
“I know. We need longer to recover. Not as young as we used to be,” she says, biting the little squares she made on her piece of mango.
“That mango looks good.”
“Want some?” she asks, grinning.
“Yep,” I say, popping the P, my eyes not leaving the fruit. A knock at the door startles me, diverting my attention. Isis and I stare at each other before looking down at our T-shirts and panties. Clearly we aren’t dressed for company. I shrug, and walk to the door, opening it about an inch.
“Hey,” I say, taken aback. I didn’t expect to see him again so soon.
“Hey, can we talk for a second?” he says, looking a little unsure.
“Ummm,” I mumble, before making a second decision and opening the door.
“Nice T-shirt,” he says, grinning as he walks into the house. Well, shit. If that didn’t give me away, I don’t know what will. I clear my throat, and avoid looking into his knowing eyes.
“Hey Isis!” he calls out to my roommate. She calls out a hello in return.
“No need to yell,” I tell him, wincing as my head pounds.
“Sorry,” he apologises, staring at my thighs. He doesn’t sound sorry at all. We walk into my room and sit down on the bed. I can’t help but remember the last time we were alone in this room together, and I can feel the heat rise up my neck. That was pretty f*cking embarrassing.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, confused as to why he’s here. I’m pretty sure we said what we needed to, and although there was a lot more we needed to discuss, I still needed time to think things over.
“Yes, I just forgot to do something when I walked you to your door.”
“What?”
“This,” he says, cupping my face in his hands and capturing my lips in a kiss. Not just any kiss. He’s telling me something with this kiss; I can feel it. I understand it. The emotion, the… love. It’s undeniable. My tongue slips out to taste his, timidly at first. When I turn to straddle him, he pulls away, eyes shining.
“That was some kiss,” I gasp, breathless.
He smiles widely, showing off his perfect straight teeth. “I’m glad you approve.”
“He just kissed me into submission.” When he starts laughing, hard, I realise I’ve said that out loud.
I don’t have time to feel embarrassed because he stands up, leaning over me to kiss me on my forehead. “I’m going into work. You know where to find me whenever you want to finish that conversation.”
With that, he exits the room, leaving me more confused than ever.




Chantal Fernando's books