CHAPTER TWENTY
Aidan swept a nervous glance over to his father. He swallowed hard as Patrick stared at Emma’s retreating form. At the sound of the bathroom door slamming, Patrick raised an expectant brow.
His mind whirled with how he was going to possibly explain Emma’s behavior and keep their secret. He finally smiled apologetically. “I should have mentioned that she was a vegetarian, and that the smell of meat makes her sick.”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“Excuse me?” Aidan demanded, leaning forward in his seat. That was certainly not the response he expected. His lie seemed pretty plausible to him. Well except for the small fact that Emma had happily accepted a lunch invitation for meaty pie not ten minutes ago.
Patrick shook his head. “She’s pregnant, isn’t she?”
Aidan’s own stomach churned, and he fought the urge to bolt from the table just like Emma. “What would possess you to think that?” he croaked. He sure as hell hoped Emma hadn’t mentioned something to Patrick while they were looking at the roses. If anyone was going to drop the bomb about his impending fatherhood, it was going to be him.
“Because of your mother. She couldn’t stand to be in the same room with meat when she was pregnant with you. Even the faintest smell would send her to the bathroom. The worst was when we were in the city and passed a hotdog stand.” Patrick smiled wistfully. “I haven’t seen anyone have that kind of reaction since her, not even your sisters.”
Aidan cast a glance down the hall. “Emma’s only about six weeks along. The morning sickness, or I guess I should say nausea, is hitting her really bad.”
“I assume the child is yours?”
“Of course it is,” Aidan growled.
“Surely you can see why I would question you. After all, you introduced her as a friend from work and now you’re telling me she’s pregnant with your child.”
“I didn’t quite know how to tell you.”
“Are you planning on marrying her?”
“It’s not that simple.”
Patrick’s eyebrows arched in surprise. “It isn’t? I thought when you got a woman pregnant, you did the honorable thing and offered to marry her. Why the hell were you sleeping with her if you didn’t love her or see a future with her? Or are you still hell bent on being the a*shole who uses women for his selfish own purposes?”
Aidan narrowed his eyes and gripped the edge of the lace tablecloth. “Jesus Christ, Pop, don’t hold anything back. Tell me how you really feel!”
“I’m sorry, but you’re thirty-two years old. You haven’t had a single long-term relationship since you broke it off with Amy.” Patrick shook his head sadly. “If I’m being completely honest, I could say that Amy and Emma remind me a lot of each other. I certainly don’t want to see Emma get hurt like Amy did, especially if she’s carrying my grandchild.”
“Look, quit playing me out as the villain. Emma wanted a baby, so I agreed to help her.”
Patrick opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. Once he had a moment to adjust to the news, an amused smile curved on his lips. “Ah, you’re like her stud horse or something?”
“Not funny.”
“Sorry, son. I couldn’t resist.” He patted Aidan’s arm. “All joking aside, I just want you to think long and hard about what you’re doing. I can see you care deeply for Emma, and she does for you.”
Aidan shifted in his chair and stared down at his hands. “I don’t know how I feel.”
“You know what your mother would say, don’t you?”
Sinking fast in the quick-sand of his father’s words, Aidan swept out of his chair and went to pour himself a drink. He pulled the Scotch from the cabinet. “Don’t bring her into this. She badgered me enough herself. Always wondering why I broke Amy’s heart, or why I wouldn’t settle down, marry some nice girl from church, and punch out a bunch of kids.” He conveniently left out the part about how she had made him promise on her deathbed to have children one day.
“Don’t you realize son she knew that’s what would really make you happy.”
Aidan scowled. “But she never saw the real me—she only believed the good parts. If she had really stopped to think about it, she would have realized I never wanted to be tied down or be stuck with the same woman day in and day out.”
Hurt radiated in Patrick’s eyes. “Is that what you think of the forty-five years I had with your mother?”
Aidan threw his head back and stared at the water stain on the dining room ceiling. He wished he had never answered his phone or agreed to come over. Most of all, he wished he had never, ever thought bringing Emma with him would be a good idea. She had been right when she anticipated her presence would bring on the third degree. Aidan sighed and looked over at his father. “No, Pop, that’s not what I think. But we’re different people.”
“Emma could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
A snort erupted from Aidan’s lips. “How the hell would you know that? You’ve been with her all of an hour!”
“I may be an old man, but I’m not blind. She’s the total package, son. She’s just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the out. How can you not be amazed by what a special young woman she is? Why if I was your age, I’d be doing everything in my power to make her mine—especially if she was carrying my child.”
Aidan opened his mouth to argue, but at the sound of the bathroom door creaking, he closed it. “Not a word,” he whispered to his father. When Emma appeared, her face was positively ghost-like except for the flush of embarrassment on her cheeks. She eased down in her seat and tentatively glanced across the table at Aidan.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She gave a weak smile. “I’m fine.” She then turned to Patrick. “Mr. Fitzgerald, I’m so sorry for ruining your lunch like that.”
He held up his index finger to silence her. “You did no such thing.” He reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “Besides, it does an old man’s heart good to hear he’s going to be a grandfather again.”
“Shit, Pop, I said not a word!” Aidan exclaimed as Emma’s eyes widened as big as saucers.
“You told him?” she demanded.
Patrick shook his head. “Now don’t be getting upset with him. I’m the one who guessed it. When my late wife was pregnant with Aidan, she suffered terribly with morning sickness—well, we jokingly called it the all day sickness because it wasn’t just regulated to the morning. And smells bothered her something terrible.”
Emma clutched her abdomen. “It’s awful.”
“If I were a betting man, I’d put good money on you’re carrying a boy. After all, my wife only experienced what she did with Aidan.”
Emma gave a dreamy smile. “A boy would be wonderful, but I’ll just as happy with a girl—as long as he or she is healthy is all that matters.”
Patrick patted her hand. “Oh, but you need a boy. That way the Fitzgerald family name will go on.” He turned to Aidan. “You are planning on giving the baby your last name, aren’t you?”
“Jesus Christ, Pop! Lighten up.”
“I’m a staunch Irish Catholic, son, I’m not going to ease up on the legitimacy of my grandchild.”
Aidan felt the blood draining from his face. He immediately reached for his glass and knocked back the rest of the Scotch. At his father’s continued scrutiny, he shifted in his chair. “Well, Emma and I haven’t discussed it.”
“Don’t you want to carry on our family’s name?” Patrick turned his intense gaze on Emma. “I was the only son of my parents, and I had only one son. I have five grandsons and a great-grandson, yet our name will die out with Aidan.”
“Oh come on, Pop, it’s not like I’ll be the last Fitzgerald ever. Granddad Fitz had seven brothers!” Aidan argued.
Patrick crossed his arms over his chest in a huff. “Fine then. If you won’t give the baby your name, I’ll give him mine!”
When Emma squeaked across from him, Aidan knew she was upset by the overt tension between the two strong-willed men facing off. “Would you please knock it off? You’re freaking Em out.”
Patrick’s expression immediately softened. “Emma, I’m so sorry if I offended or upset you. I’m fiercely protective of my family, and now that you’re carrying my grandchild, you’re a part of that.”
Aidan watched as Emma’s expression turned from apprehension to positively beaming. “That’s very sweet of you to care so much. My baby will be very lucky to have you as a grandfather.” She drew in a breath. “But before I got pregnant, Aidan and I set very clear parameters on what his role would be.”
“So you object to the baby having his name?” Patrick demanded.
“Well, no…I mean, I wouldn’t mind.” Before Aidan could stop himself, he glowered across the table at Emma. She quickly shook her head. “But I don’t want to pressure Aidan into anything. No offense, Patrick, but you’re kind of putting him on the spot. I don’t want Aidan to feel uncomfortable.”
Patrick harrumphed and leaned back in his chair. “Fine then. I’m just an old fashioned, out of touch, old fart!”
Emma giggled. “Aw, no you’re not. Actually, you remind me a lot of my mother’s father. He’s really been more of a father figure to me after my father died. Granddaddy is very traditional and old-fashioned. And pretty easy going until you mess with his family.”
“He sounds like my kind of man.”
“I think you two would get along very well. He shared your same questions and concerns when he learned I was unmarried and pregnant.” Emma twisted the napkin in her lap. “Actually, he had quite a few choice words for me.”
Aidan experienced a twinge of protectiveness at Emma’s discomfort. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“Everything is okay now. In fact, he’s really creative when it comes to woodworking, and he’s carving the baby a rocking horse.”
“That’s a nice way to make amends,” Patrick mused.
Emma smiled. “Yes, it is.”
Patrick appeared thoughtful. Then he stood up. “Come, Emma, there’s something I’d like you and the baby to have.”
He held out his hand, and Emma smiled, slipping hers into his. Aidan watched as he pulled her out of the dining room chair and led her down the hall. He sat stunned, still unbelieving the effect Emma had on his father. Aidan hadn’t seen him so animated in months. It was like she had brought a piece of him that was dead back to life—something not even he or his sisters had been able to do.
Curiosity caused him to rise from his chair and seek them out. He found them in his parent’s bedroom. Emma stood in the middle of the room, peering intently at the walk-in closet. Shuffling noises came from within, and Aidan heard his father curse softly. Finally, Patrick appeared with a yellowed box faded with time, a beaming smile on his face. “For my grandson,” he said, handing Emma the box.
She swept her free hand to her hip and challenged, “And what if it is a girl?”
“Trust me on this one.” When Emma huffed in protest, Patrick laughed. “All right, all right. It will work for my granddaughter as well.”
Emma opened the box’s lid. Aidan leaned forward as she gently pulled away the tissue paper. A little cry escaped her lips. Gently, she pulled out a white baby’s gown with intricate lace and pearls. “It’s beautiful.”
“It’s Aidan’s christening gown,” Patrick said.
Aidan sucked in a breath. His father’s words coupled with Emma holding a piece of past made him feel like he had been punched in the gut. If there was any doubt how his father felt about Emma and their child, it was cemented by the tiny gown in her hands. He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for this level of emotion and commitment. “Dad, Emma’s not even Catholic,” Aidan protested.
Without taking his eyes off Emma, Patrick shook his head. “She might humor me and have the baby Christened though.”
Emma nibbled on her bottom lip. “The truth is I’m Baptist.” At Patrick’s sharp intake of breath, she held up her hand. “But considering you and Aidan are Catholic and the baby will be half Catholic, I suppose I could. If it meant a lot to you.”
A broad smile formed on Patrick’s face. “It sure would.”
“Then I would be honored.”
“Thank you, sweetheart,” Patrick embraced Emma, squeezing her tight. “Thank you most of all for being such a beautiful light in the world…and in my son’s life.”
Aidan stared at his father in horror. Had he lost his mind? Emma wasn’t a light in his life…was she? He tried ignoring the tears sparkling in Emma’s green eyes when she pulled out of Patrick’s arms. She kissed him tenderly on the cheek. “Thank you for wanting to be a part of my baby’s life.”
The continued exchange of emotions between his father and Emma made it feel like all the air in the room had been sucked out. Simply breathing in and out made his chest feel like a Sumo wrestler was pressing down on him. A beautiful light in my son’s life kept replaying over and over again in his mind.
Deep down inside him, a little voice agreed with his father. Emma made him burn with desire one minute and laugh the next. The way she interacted with Beau and his nephews tugged at his heart. She was the kind of woman if he got physically sick, she would be there to nurse him through it, and if he fell on hard times emotionally, she would be his rock.
How had he been so f*cking blind?
Aidan’s gaze wildly scanned the room. No, he just needed to get out of his parent’s bedroom, out his father’s house, and then maybe he would be able to think.
He cleared his throat. “I hate to be a party pooper, but we really need to get going. I’ve got a lot to take care of after being gone the last month.”
Patrick nodded. “I understand, son. I’m just so glad you came by.” He smiled at Emma. “That you both came by.”
It took Aidan a moment before he was able to say, “So am I.”
Emma clutched the Christening gown to her chest as she trailed Patrick out of the bedroom. Aidan followed close on their heels. “Now that we’re acquainted, there’s no reason for you to be a stranger. You know where I live, so you don’t have to rely on Aidan to bring you by.”
Jesus, two hours with the girl, and his father was already giving Emma full access to come over whenever she felt like it. For all he knew, his father would get down all the family photo albums or his old high school yearbooks to entertain Emma with. What a nightmare.
Patrick gave Emma a final hug before turning to Aidan. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“I’ll try.”
As Emma started down the porch steps, Patrick grabbed Aidan’s arm. “Will you at least try to consider some of the things we talked about?” he asked, in a hushed whisper.
“I’ll try, Pop. I really will.”
Patrick smiled. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
Emma slipped into the passenger seat as Aidan jogged down the front walk. When he slid inside the car, he exhaled a long, ragged breath. Emma turned and gave him a tentative smile. “That was…interesting.”
“You could say that,” he replied, cranking up.
After he pulled out of the driveway, he glanced over to see Emma running her fingers over the fabric of the Christening gown. “I bet you were adorable wearing this,” she remarked.
“No, I’ve seen the pictures. I look like a chubby little pansy wearing a dress.”
“You could never look like a pansy,” she teased.
Aidan grunted in response. Staring ahead, he gripped the steering wheel tighter, desperately trying to keep control of the feelings raging within him. They didn’t speak for a few minutes.
When Emma finally did, her voice was strained. “I’m sorry for today.”
Aidan tore his gaze off the road to stare at her. “What are you talking about?”
“Meeting your father. It was too much pressure and commitment for you. I can tell.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Oh please. You were about to hyperventilate under the stress when we were in your parent’s bedroom.” Emma shook her head. “I seriously started to worry you were going to have a stroke or something.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
The skin on his cheek singed from the glare Emma was giving him. “At least be honest about the situation, Aidan.”
A low growl erupted from the back of his throat. “Fine. That was a total and complete mind f*ck for me, okay?”
“That’s better.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious. I always want you to be honest with me, especially about how you feel.”
“Women always say that, and then the moment you tell them how things are, you get verbally or physically bitch slapped.”
Silence echoed through the car for a few minutes. Finally, Emma spoke. “Look, I don’t have to keep the gown. You can give it back to Patrick and explain to him you only agreed to give your DNA, not yourself.”
He banged his fist into the steering wheel. “Dammit, Em, that’s not what I want!”
Cutting across two lanes, he wheeled into a supermarket parking lot. After screeching to a stop, he killed the engine. When he turned to face Emma, her eyes were wide, and she had pressed herself up against the door as far away from him as possible. “When I said today was a mind-f*ck, it was in more ways than one. Seeing you with my father—the way he reacted to you—it’s made me come unhinged. But not in the way you think.”
“Oh?”
He shook his head. “When I met you, my life was exactly like I wanted it to be. Then I was only thinking with my dick when I thought I could get you pregnant and walk away. And now…it’s all so f*cking complicated I don’t know which way is up anymore.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause problems for you or to be a burden.”
Aidan rolled his eyes. “Jesus, Em, how can you even think that?”
Her brows furrowed. “Because you said—”
With a frustrated grunt, he raked his hands through his hair. “Dammit, I’m no good at this. I’m saying and doing everything wrong.”
“I don’t understand,” she murmured.
“Deep down, I’m still the same person I was when we first started all this—no marriage, no major commitment, no long-term relationships.” He sighed. “But…I want to try to have more with you.”
Emma gasped. “You do?”
He stared at her intently. “Even though I hate to admit it, I really missed you while I was gone.”
“Are you sure you didn’t just miss the sex?”
He scowled at her. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
She gave him a tentative smile. “Then that’s very flattering.”
“F*ck, I didn’t think you’d make me work this hard for it.”
“Excuse me?”
“I thought…” He shook his head. “I thought you wanted us even more than I did.”
“I do,” she replied softly.
“You have a hell of a way of showing it.”
She glared at him. “Well, you’re not really playing fair. You’ve been kind and considerate, if not downright caring, the entire time we were trying to conceive, yet you constantly kept me at arm’s length. Every time I thought you might truly be interested in me, you’d shut down. And now you wait to spring the fact you might want more when I’m a hormone fueled emotional wreck.”
“What difference does that make?”
“Everything!” She pointed out the windshield to where a teenage bag boy was collecting carts. “I’m so whacked out on hormones right now that kid could ask me to marry him, and I would say yes.”
“That’s f*cked up,” Aidan mused.
“Yeah, it’s called estrogen, and it’s working overtime right now. If you want to know what that feels like, it’s kind of like how the massive dose of testosterone pumping through you fuels the head below your waist, driving most of your decisions.”
Aidan threw his head back and laughed. “Are you trying to say I only think with my dick?”
“I don’t think I’d be pregnant right now if you didn’t,” Emma said softly.
His expression darkened. “Am I to assume that’s the estrogen talking or are you just trying to cut me?”
Emma ducked her head. “Yes and no. It’s just that everything is so emotionally overwhelming right now. Meeting Patrick today…” She bit down on her lip and then stared out the car window. “I know we were only together for such a short time, but it was almost like the moment I met him I felt a connection to something I haven’t had in a very, very long time—a father’s love. I’ve only felt that before with my grandfather, and he’s my own blood.”
Aidan’s chest tightened at Emma’s visible pain. He reached out and took her hand in his. “Em—”
She turned back to him with tears in her eyes. “You think you’re trying to protect yourself? Well, so am I. As much as I want to say yes to you Aidan, I have to protect myself and the baby.”
“The baby? Do you honestly think I’d do anything to hurt it?”
“Not intentionally. But I can’t let you get invested in our lives if you might bail when some woman in a short skirt and huge breasts turns your head.”
“That was f*cking low,” he growled.
She wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, but you know at some fundamental level it’s the truth. You’ve said yourself a million times that you don’t do long-term relationships.”
“Yeah, well, people can change you know.”
“You can’t imagine how much I want to believe that,” she whispered.
Aidan sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Look, that phone call I got from work was about how I have to fly to DC on Tuesday. I’ll be gone for a few days. Will you think about it while I’m gone?”
“I will if you will.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I want you to make sure you fully comprehend what you’re asking of me and yourself. And I want you to have a pretty clear picture of just what ‘more’ means to you.”
“Fine.” He gave her a pointed look. “I will if you will.”
The corners of her mouth quirked up in a smile. “It’s a deal.”