CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Drifting between sleep and consciousness, Emma felt something moist trailing up her bare back and over her neck. When Aidan pressed his morning erection against her backside, her eyes flew open. She turned to gaze at him over her shoulder. “Good morning to you, too. Or should I say the both of you,” she said, her voice laced with amusement.
Aidan’s chuckle hummed in her ear. “I’m sorry I woke you. I couldn’t help getting so turned on when I woke up next to a fiery, naked goddess.”
“Are you thinking by merely flattering me I’m going to let you have your way with me again?”
“I sure as hell hope so.”
“Hmm, I thought I gave you your consolation sex prize last night. I don’t recall this morning being a part of the deal.”
“So you want to tease me and play hard to get, huh?” Aidan snaked his hand across her belly and between her legs. She sucked in a breath. “Was that a yes?” he asked, his fingers speeding up their tempo.
“It’s definitely not a no,” she murmured, tilting her head back against his shoulder.
Just as she felt herself building to an orgasm, the familiar morning nausea seized her. “No, no, stop!” she cried.
Aidan gazed down at her in surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“I—” She clapped her hand over her mouth, willing herself not to throw up on him. She clambered over his legs and streaked into the bathroom. She barely made it before her stomach clenched. She gripped the sides of toilet seat and retched violently. Over and over, her stomach heaved. Exhausted, she sank to her knees. When she glanced up, Aidan stood framed in the doorway. He had managed to slide on his underwear, and she noticed her episode had killed his libido.
“Morning sickness?”
“Umm, hmm,” she moaned.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No, I—” She heaved again. Dragging her arm across her mouth, she didn’t dare look at Aidan. It was too embarrassing having him see her this way. Staring at the tile, she said, “I’m fine. Really. Go back to bed.”
Without a word, Aidan left the bathroom. Emma couldn’t blame him. She could only imagine this unattractive aspect to pregnancy would just be another reason to drive him away. What would he want with someone like her when he could have any woman he wanted?
Pressing her cheek against the toilet lid, she felt the bile rising in her throat again. She silently willed herself not to get sick again. Then Aidan appeared in the doorway. Emma peered up to see a glass of water and a bag of saltine crackers in his hands. When she stared at him in shock, he gave her a sheepish grin. “I thought this might help.”
He hadn’t run away. Instead, he had tried to find something to make her better. The gesture sent Emma’s emotions reeling like an out of control Merry-Go-Round. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Instead of leaving them on the counter and running out the door, he grabbed the hand towel and ran it under the cold water. He then eased down beside her, taking Emma’s face in his hands. “Aidan, you don’t--” she protested.
“Shh, just let me take care of you.” Tenderly, he swiped the rag across her cheeks and her forehead. The gesture tugged at her heart, and overwhelming love for him radiated in her chest. If there had ever been a doubt to the depth of her feelings, it was cemented at that moment. She closed her eyes so he wouldn’t see her tears. “Does that feel nice?”
Unable to speak, she bobbed her head.
“I’m so sorry about the puking,” he said.
Her eyes flew open. “It’s not your fault.”
He grinned. “Well, it kind of is considering I knocked you up.”
She gave him a weak smile. “But I asked you to. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
“Has it been bad so far?”
She nodded. “Every morning…some afternoons.” She shuddered. “And then certain smells.”
Aidan twisted the rag in his hands. “I wish I could do something to help. I feel so helpless having to watch you suffer.”
Her chest constricted again at his words. “It’s enough you just being here—comforting me like this.” She reached out to touch his cheek. “You have such a good heart and so much love to give. You’re going to be a wonderful father.”
He stared at her in almost disbelief—his chest rising and falling harshly. She could see him emotionally shutting down right in front of her. He shook his head. “I think you give me too much credit. Besides, I’d be a real jackass if I left you alone when you were sick.” He rose off of the floor and tossed the rag on the counter.
Chewing her lip, Emma realized this was probably the best she was ever going to get from him—just enough care and concern to keep his conscience from eating at him. It wasn’t ever going to be enough to make him love her or commit. She just needed to accept that fact so she could guard her heart. She could only give herself to him physically—even though she desperately hoped that physical intimacy would lead to a stronger emotional one for Aidan.
So she drew in a deep breath and pulled herself off the floor. “I’m going to take a shower.”
He whirled back around in surprise. “You think you’re up to it?”
“The nausea and the puking never last long. I’m feeling better now.” She smiled. “You want to join me?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not making any promises.” She pulled back the shower curtain and turned on the water. “Besides, we both need to be ready to go out in a little while because I’m going to expect you to buy me some breakfast. You know, for knocking me up and all.”
He grinned. “I think I can do that.”