It was then that East stopped listening. He just watched a glimpse of floating pink dress disappear outside.
Kelly touched his arm, and East felt himself recoil. It wasn’t her fault. She was fine: tall, blonde, thin, nice enough. A few weeks ago East would have had no problem with her. Hell, he’d have probably gone after her and had a great night. But she wasn’t what he wanted now. He couldn’t stand the touch of her perfectly manicured nails on his skin. He didn’t want to look at her perfect cheekbones and her perfectly coiffed platinum hair. He wanted a brunette with a sassy smile and flour on her nose and the most incredible set of curves and the most incredible laugh he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Instead, he watched Natalie walk away, and it killed him. But he had to let her. Because he had to protect her. Protect her from him.
Chapter Fifteen
East slammed the door of the mini fridge in his hotel room, broke open the tiny vodka, and downed it in record time, hoping it would ease the clutch of pain in his stomach.
It didn’t.
So he got another one. He was so close to the kind of drunk he needed to be to not feel this ache. Thank God the wedding was tomorrow.
But tonight had been awful. The rehearsal was tense but thankfully quick. Natalie had never looked at him again. He couldn’t blame her. He was pretty sure she wasn’t staying at the hotel. He’d seen her walk out a few times as if just to get away from him.
Again. Couldn’t blame her.
A knock came at his door, and East stomped to open it.
“What?” he asked before he saw who it was.
“What?” Michelle repeated his question. Her red hair was tied back, and she had a scowl on her face that could kill.
“Sorry,” East mumbled. “I wasn’t expecting company.”
“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to be as big of an asshole as you are, but looks like we’re both surprised.” She pushed past him but didn’t sit down, just continued to gear up for what was looking to be some kind of ass-chewing.
“Well, I’ve always been an asshole, darlin’, so if you’re particularly upset about something you’ll have to be more specific.”
East wouldn’t normally talk to a lady this way, but he was all kinds of drunk and angry and flat-out sad. A feeling he’d been trying to drown, thank you very much, until Michelle had rudely interrupted him.
“I’m talking about a particular woman you just hurt,” Michelle said. “What’s the matter with you? You’ve been in love for a long time now, and after finally seeing each other the past couple of weeks, tonight you treat her like nothing?”
East frowned. “Natalie told you?”
“No, I accidentally saw the two of you at her shop.”
“Which time?” East smiled but Michelle didn’t, and then he realized his jokes and nonchalance couldn’t help him this time. He was sunk. Hurting. Because he’d hurt the woman he…
Loved.
He loved Natalie. He did. Somewhere along the line she’d become the one person he wanted to spend his days and nights with more than anyone else.
“I’m not blind. But clearly you are,” Michelle said. “I’ve sat back and listened to my friend struggle over you. Watched her struggle to even talk about what she feels. For you. All while considering your feelings, keeping your secret. And I watched her confidence bloom. Then tonight you cut her down?” Michelle shook her head. “You should be ashamed.”
“I am!” he snapped.
“Good!” Michelle snapped back. “I know what it feels like to mess up. I also know what it feels like to not measure up in people’s eyes. So, lucky for you, I’m giving you a free piece of advice.”
“Hit me with it,” East said in exhaustion, because at this point, he was beyond depressed. He was over himself. Couldn’t even stand his refection in the mirror.
“Fine, I will,” Michelle said. East didn’t see her hand fly across his face. But he felt her slap. “Stop moping. It’s not about being a better class or stock. It’s about being a better man. So get it together and start acting like the man Natalie believes in.”
As the warmth from her slap heated his cheek, East realized that Natalie did make him feel like a better man, and she was worth more than anything else. She challenged him, accepted who he was and all the difficulties that came with him. All his flaws. She was unsure and didn’t know how to handle most of what he’d thrown at her, and yet she’d held on with him. For him.
“She’d never come here and hit you upside the head and tell you how awful you are,” Michelle said. “She’s too busy trying to put the shreds of herself together. You know she’s talking about taking some job offer at a bakery in Connecticut? But I am happy to remind you, Easton Ambrose, what a jerk you are. You are lucky to have a woman like her willing to claim you.”