“Great,” Matt agreed, still obviously thinking they were talking about some mystery man. “Then ask him, bring him, and all is well, and I can get married, and we can both take a break from dealing with Mom.”
She nodded. “Okay. I just may do that.” She took one more sip and glanced at East, then at her brother. “I’ve got to get going. Big day of baking tomorrow before the rehearsal.”
“Love ya, sis,” Matt said.
Natalie caught East’s eyes as she slid off the stool. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She made sure her voice spoke the promise she felt.
He nodded. It was funny—they both were on the same page and still in their secret world at the same time. But she was confident that tomorrow night, she’d finally go after the one man that made her feel like more. And deep down, she hoped that he’d help her work out the details.
“See you tomorrow,” he confirmed.
“Thanks again for all your help,” Matt said to East.
East watched Natalie walk out. His heart was thumping in his chest, but he felt strangely calm. This was going to happen. Everything was going to hit the fan tomorrow night, but he and Natalie, together, were going to come out of the closet.
And he was excited and terrified. Because the thought of her leaving or hurting was too much. He loved Matt and the St. Clairs, but he loved Natalie, too. Only that love was shifting.
A hollow ache pulsed in his chest. He was, and had been, violating Matt’s trust this whole time. He’d like to think it was for Natalie, so that he could be with her, but in the end, he felt awful about lying to his best friend.
“Happy to help,” East said. “You’re my best friend, Matt.”
His buddy looked at him and elbowed his arm. “I know. And you’re mine. You getting sappy on me?”
“Something in the air, I guess.”
“I guess. With the way Natalie was just talking, I’m hoping this guy she likes isn’t a total asshole.”
East glanced away. “You talk like she can’t make up her own mind. She’s not a kid anymore, you know.”
Matt gave him a look he couldn’t quite place. “It’s not that. She’s just…vulnerable. You know that. Falling for the wrong guy? He wouldn’t just break her heart. He’d break her completely.”
“She’s stronger than you think,” East said.
“Sure, but come on. She’s dating all these guys, no real winners, and suddenly she likes one of them? You know she didn’t think this through. Dating is one thing, but liking him is another.”
“So she can’t win?” East asked. “You and Lemon-Anne wanted her to find a date, she has, but now, even though you haven’t even met him yet, he’s not good enough?”
Matt leaned in, and his voice got low. “Bridget was talking with Michelle the other day. I guess Natalie isn’t as discreet as she thinks. Apparently this guy she’s been seeing has been kind of a secret, and she’s hung up on him. I guess he even hurt her feelings or something, and she tried to stay away but he wouldn’t let her.” Matt shook his head. “I don’t know. Bridget just told me about it. But this guy doesn’t sound good if he’s already fucking with her head.”
A stab to the kidney would have felt better than what Matt had just said. But he wasn’t exactly wrong. At any point, East could have handled the situation with Natalie differently. Could have claimed her, or better, could have left her alone. Instead, he’d played with her. Fought with her. Fucked her. Worse, he’d fucked with her mind.
He wanted to crawl into a hole.
He wasn’t just trash compared to Natalie, he was just plain trash in general.
“Hey, speaking of dating,” Matt said. “Bridesmaids are in town.”
East just chugged his beer. His buddy would never see him as more than a ladies’ man with no staying power. Hell, that’s probably all he was, judging from the shitty way he’d treated Natalie. She deserved better than that. She’d even said so before: he made her crazy.
Of course, Matt had no idea how close to home he was hitting. Granted, East had hit everything close to home when he’d pursued Natalie. He’d known from the beginning that he wasn’t good enough for her. Known he wasn’t on the same level as the St. Clairs. They’d done him a favor, taken him in, made him family. Even now, Matt was talking to him with total trust. And he’d turned around and just fucked everything up.
It was time to stop.
Stop making shitty decisions. Stop running from reality. Because reality was, he was a player without a committed bone in his body. That’s what his own best friend saw, too.
“Something in the air,” he muttered to himself after finishing his beer.
“Well, I’m glad you feel that way because…” Matt trailed off and East followed his eyes. Bridget and three women walked in. The bridesmaids, he guessed.