Her eyes lifted to her childhood collection of unicorn statues on a shelf.
“Sometimes I wish I still was. Not something you can take back, though.”
She pushed her thick hair behind her ear. Her bob had grown down to her shoulders and was now dyed black with one purple streak in front. She cleared her throat and straightened her legs.
“You’re, like, religious, right?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She began giving off strong gray vibes of mixed negative feelings. I pretended to focus on my own toes still, giving her a moment to collect her thoughts.
“Do you think badly of me?” she asked. “I mean, about all that stuff last year?”
I looked at her, confused. “What stuff?”
“You know.” She pulled at a strand of carpet. “The abortion.”
My heart stammered. I remembered vaguely how the rumor mill had been going at the beginning of our sophomore year about someone getting an abortion, but I never poked around for details.
“I don’t think badly of you, Roni.”
Her relief was immediate.
“My dad made me,” she said, swallowing. Veronica was a toughie, not a crier like me, but she was fighting tears.
“She would be five months old now.”
“She?” I whispered.
She shrugged. “It was always a girl when I dreamed. It’s not like I wanted a baby, but... I don’t know. My dad went ballistic. He went to Mike’s parents and they all ganged up to make us stop seeing each other. Of course, Mike had a new girlfriend like that—” She snapped her fingers. “But anyway. The worst part was the day we went to the clinic. There were these people outside.”
Her colors darkened again.
“Protesters?” I asked.
“Yeah. They had signs with pictures and I tried to ignore them, but this one lady spit on me when I walked past. I remember exactly what she said, too. She said, ‘You’re a murderer—you’ll burn in hell for this.’”
I pushed Veronica’s black-and-gray swirls of guilt, anger, and fear away from me because I was dealing with my own and it was too much. My chest tightened and my voice was thick.
“She shouldn’t have said that to you. It was wrong. People are supposed to love and help one another, not judge. She doesn’t know your heart.”
Veronica let me take her hand. Our arms dangled between us, connected at the fingers. She still stared at her toes, but the darkness around her slowly receded.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
HALLOWEEN
I could not believe I’d let the tag-team duo of Jay and Veronica guilt-trip me into going to this Halloween party. It was the first time I’d gone out since the night I’d met the other Neph. Four bands were headlining tonight. Lascivious was not playing, but I knew Kaidan would be there. He’d given Jay the invite. My body tensed just thinking about it.
Jay, Veronica, and I walked through a sea of cars into a giant clearing filled with hundreds of rowdy people. It was a field party with a makeshift stage for the bands. We settled ourselves on the outskirts of the crowd, near the border of the forest.
There was a crazed buzz in the air—everyone in costume. I watched a caveman throw Wonder Woman over his shoulder as she screamed in delight. A robot was helping an alien do a beer bong on one side of us, while some Pokémon characters did a keg stand on the other side. A huge crowd was jumping and moshing in front of the stage.
I wondered what kind of sexy getup Kaidan would be wearing. Maybe Adam in a loincloth? And who would be his Eve tonight? Blech.
This was a terrible idea.
I smoothed down the snug black Lycra dress I wore. At least it was long-sleeved and flowed down to my ankles. I think it was a costume of Veronica’s from when she was in middle school. She swore it wasn’t too tight on me. She had no qualms about lying.
My face, neck, and hands were painted green. I doctored up a fake wart with some bubble gum and put it on my nose, much to Veronica’s dismay. I wore a ratty black wig and a pointy black hat.
Veronica was a seductive Minnie Mouse in red and white polka dots. Jay was a pirate with an eye patch and a freaky fake parrot sitting crookedly on his shoulder.
I stood with my arms crossed, scanning the crowd. My eyes halted on a very tall gorilla looking in our direction. He bore a red badge on his furry chest. I had no idea how long we stared at each other, unmoving, before I lifted one hand in a wave.
“Who are you waving at?” Veronica asked me.
“Um, that big monkey. I think he’s staring at... us.”
And at that moment, the gorilla lifted an arm and scratched his armpit. The silly gesture filled me with a rush of joy. But I wasn’t going to him.
I faced my friends, chewing my thumbnail. Please come over. When I glanced again, he was walking our way. Yes! My pulse went erratic.