“I have a feeling I’m gonna get suspended.”
“Why? What did you do?” I asked.
“Nothing yet.”
“Is it Scott?”
Jay nodded, mouth tightening at the mention of that name. “You should hear what he’s saying.”
“I don’t want to,” I told him. “He’s not worth getting into trouble over, Jay.”
“I don’t know about that. It might be worth it to shut his mouth.”
I followed Jay’s hateful stare to where Scott stood next to a table of wrestlers, reenacting someone tripping and falling. The guys rewarded him with hearty laughs. I wondered how many girls he’d taken advantage of.
I couldn’t let him get away with it, even though I loathed the idea of confrontation.
“You should tell your scary-ass dad about Scott,” Jay muttered.
“He’d kill him,” I said.
“Exactly.”
I put a hand on his arm. “Listen to me, ’kay? I’m going to say something to Scott, but I need you to promise me you won’t interfere. Just stay over here or go somewhere else.”
Jay was quiet for a moment, rubbing his hands together.
“Jay.”
“Fine. I’ll stay here, but I’m watching.”
I stood up and dumped my tray, then set it on the cart. Scott had moved on to the next table and was sitting across from Veronica and Kristin Miller. I took a deep breath and approached him on unsteady legs.
“Can I talk to you?” I asked quietly, trying not to gain everyone’s attention. Blood thumped in my temples and throat. He eyeballed me up and down over his shoulder as if I’d been rolling around in a pigsty.
“Talk to me about what?” He stood and faced me, using his bulk to make me step back. “About how you’re sorry you lied about me to everyone when all I did was try to be nice to you?”
I took a breath before answering. “Please, Scott, let’s just go in the hall and talk alone.”
“I got nothin’ to hide!” He threw his arms out to the sides.
I had intended to speak with him privately, but if he wanted to make a public spectacle out of us, then so be it. I balled my fists.
“I’m not sorry, because I haven’t lied about anything and you know it,” I said. “I’m not the one spreading rumors.”
“As if I would have needed to drug you,” he said. The whole table was watching and listening now. “You were, like, desperate, hanging all over me.”
I tried not to let his ugliness seep into me. I had to keep my mind sharp. I angled myself away from the spectators, but it had gone silent around us as I responded.
“I thought you were being nice by inviting me to the party, and I did wonder what a guy like you was doing giving a girl like me any attention, but now I understand. You knew that if the truth came out about what you planned to do, all these people would take your word over mine. We both know what you did. Veronica and Kristin know it, too.”
Kristin gave a short laugh like I was crazy; her colors were a muddy orange of amusement at my expense. Veronica’s eyes widened and she looked away, wearing a blanket of dark shame about her. As for Scott, he was cloaked in a swirl of purple pride and gray fear, a dangerous combination. For a split second I thought about willing all three of them to tell the truth. It would have brought me satisfaction, but I refused to hamper their free will.
I lowered my voice to a whisper. “And I also know I’m not the first girl you’ve done this to.”
His eyes hardened. “You really expect anyone to believe that? You’re psycho.”
“Do you always ask psychos whether you can kiss them?”
Snickers rose from the table.
“Yeah, right,” Scott said. “You wish.”
“She’s not lying.” We all turned to Veronica, who’d spoken with bold confidence. But only I could see she was wrapped in the darkness of fear now.
“Shut up, you stupid lush,” Scott said to her. “You and your big nose can stay the hell out of this conversation.”
“You’re a liar!” She jumped to her feet and ran from the cafeteria.
Scott turned his sneer on me. “Everyone knows you’re just a band whore now.”
My palm itched, begging to slap him. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Scott.”
“Oooh!” He shook his hands in the air. “Good comeback.”
“You’re such a fake,” I whispered, “and it’s really sad. You live your life to impress a bunch of people who don’t accept you for who you are. But maybe that’s because you don’t even know who you are.”
A bubble of blackness rose up from his depths, hideous and raging around him. His nostrils flared and I dared to take a step forward, speaking low enough for only him to hear.