Sunset to Sunrise (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #7.5)

“Right, no worries.”


“It’s what you do though, isn’t it? You put yourself in danger to save those you love.” My voice cracked, and I cursed inwardly. What was it about this woman that made me so easily come undone?

She heard the emotion I wished I could hide. It was painfully evident when she said, “Kale, I’m sorry about what happened with the FPA. I went in there for you, twice, and I failed. It’s because of me that they drove you so crazy.”

“They didn’t drive me crazy, Alexa. Somebody else did that long ago. Your blood opened a door I’d thought was closed forever. The FPA just made me feel ok with it again.” I shrugged even though she couldn’t see it. Dredging up the events involving the FPA didn’t help either of us now.

“You sound fine right now. Like the Kale I first met.”

“That’s because there’s fourteen hundred miles between us.”

“Is that what it takes for you to talk to me without wanting to kill me?” She blurted the question, as if unable to withhold it.

“You don’t want to know what it takes.” I shook my head, staring at Lily splayed out on the floor. That wasn’t what I wanted for Alexa. Not really. “If only it was as simple as merely wanting to kill you.”

“And here I thought you called because you cared,” she said, her tone snappy and snide.

“Oh, but I do care.” I don’t know what it was about that woman that made me so crazy. From one end of the spectrum to the next, I went from emotional sap to mischievous predator in a split second. “In fact, I care so much for you, Alexa, that I dusted a vampire to defend your baby sister’s honor when she passed through looking for you.”

There was stunned silence for a moment before she said, “Don’t touch my sister, Kale. I know you want to get to me and make me take you out, but that is not the way to do it.” She was right. A thinly veiled threat was beneath me. I owed her better than that.

“I’m hurt that you would immediately jump to such a conclusion,” I said a little more dramatically than necessary. Pausing, I wrestled with myself. I hadn’t called her to be a dick. I had called because I cared. I needed her to know that. “I said I’d make you crazy. I never said I would break your heart.” For a moment she didn’t reply. I could almost feel her weighing her response. I decided not to give her the chance to form one. I rushed on, saying, “I’m glad you made it through the night in one piece. You sound tired. Go get some rest.”

Then I hung up before she could tell me to go fuck myself.

For a long time, I lay there staring at the ceiling. I waited for the inner conflict to start again. It didn’t. I knew what I had to do.

There were many reasons for me to want Arys dead. So many reasons. And not one of them mattered. It wasn’t going to happen. Not on my watch. Alexa no longer trusted me. That was fair. I’d earned it. This was an opportunity for me to show her that somewhere inside me, I was still the person she had trusted to have her back in the face of danger. I was still someone she could count on.

Maybe that was all a lie. My mood shifted so quickly. I could go from loving her desperately to loathing her viciously with merely a thought. Both emotions came from the same place, the part of me that belonged solely to her.

“Fuck,” I muttered. “Who am I kidding? She can’t fucking trust me.”

I punched a fist into the mattress, but it did nothing to ease my frustration. Sitting here alone in this godforsaken room in this shit show of a nightclub made it easy to convince myself that things weren’t as bad between Alexa and me as they seemed. When in fact, they were worse. It was too late to go back. Too much had happened. We had both made mistakes though mine were much greater.

Nothing I could ever do would repair the damage done. I might never even be able to stand in the same room as Alexa without wanting to hurt her. But that wasn’t her fault. And regardless of how screwed up I was, I couldn’t stand back and watch Phillip’s crew take a shot at Arys. I could never do that to Alexa.

Making that decision felt like a small breakthrough. Maybe I wasn’t too far gone yet. I laughed, a harsh sound that caused Lily to stir.

With a groan, I got up and grabbed the naked woman, lightly slapping her face. The sooner I got her up and in a cab out of here, the better. I needed some time to quiet my thoughts before nightfall when I would hunt down Phillip and his rebel crew.

Shya had given the order, but I wasn’t doing it for him. Letting him think so was fine with me. If I was being completely honest with myself, I wasn’t even really doing it for Alexa. I was doing it for me. Because somewhere inside me, I still wanted to pretend I was the man she had once thought I was.