“Drove down to L.A. and found her. We had coffee.” One corner of his mouth turned up. “She wasn’t exactly happy to see me, but we’ve stayed in touch since.”
Shane had a little trouble believing the words. “You’re stubborn and pigheaded. She didn’t do what you wanted. Are you saying you’ve forgiven her?”
Rafe looked at him. “I’m the one who needed forgiveness. She was a kid who lost her way. I should have been there for her and I wasn’t. I feel bad about that.”
“None of us were really there for her,” Shane said.
His sister had always been the guilty secret of the family. May had always acted as if Evie didn’t exist and he and his brothers hadn’t done a whole lot better.
“Maybe you’re right,” Rafe said slowly. “Maybe adoption would have been a more rational choice. She would have felt that she belonged. I asked her to come to the wedding. She said no.”
Shane was impressed that Rafe had even bothered with an invitation. “You can’t blame her for not wanting to be here. I’m sure she doesn’t remember much about Fool’s Gold, so the town’s not a draw. As for a family event, that has to be her idea of hell.”
“I know, but it would have been nice to have her around.”
The back door opened again and Clay walked out. “Mom wanted me to check on you two.” He lowered his voice. “Talking about Evie?”
“Yes,” Rafe said. “I was telling Shane I invited her to the wedding but she refused.”
“Would you want to come if you were her?” Clay asked, then seemed to brace himself. “Hell, I wasn’t sure I would be welcome here.”
Shane knew the comment wasn’t directed at him. He waited while his younger and older brother faced each other.
“I’m glad you’re back,” Rafe said quietly.
Clay waited.
“I mean it,” Rafe added. “It’s good to have you home.”
Clay relaxed. “Okay. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Clay turned to Shane. “I can’t believe you drove my car to San Diego.”
Shane grinned. “You said for me to take care of it and I did. You never said not to drive it.”
“Didn’t think I had to.”
“Then that’s your problem.”
Clay started to say something else, then turned slowly and stared past the barn. “Is that an elephant?”
Rafe laughed and slapped him on the back. “Welcome home, kid. You’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
* * *
CHARLIE PICKED UP HER latte and took a sip. “You’re the one who called this meeting,” she said, as she set it down.
Dakota nodded in agreement. “I did and I have a reason.”
“I figured.”
Her friend’s hesitation was an indication that Charlie probably wasn’t going to enjoy the topic. Still, she liked Dakota and respected her. So she would listen. Then she would get upset.
“You talked to Pia about IVF,” she began.
“I did. She made it sound both great and awful.”
Dakota wrinkled her nose. “Aren’t there hormone shots involved? I would hate that. I’m a true baby when it comes to needles.”
“I don’t love them, either, but if it’s for a good cause, I could deal.”
Dakota drew in a breath. “I don’t want you to take this wrong. I’m saying it with love.”
“You’re avoiding saying it with love.”
“You’re right. It’s just…” She reached a hand across the small table and touched Charlie’s arm. “I think you’re doing this in the wrong order. You want to have a family and I completely respect that. And you. The decision to be a single parent isn’t an easy one. Many single parents have the situation thrust upon them. They don’t get to choose and you do.”
Which all sounded great, Charlie thought. “But?”
“But in my opinion, you’re making that choice for the wrong reason.” She met Charlie’s gaze. “What happened to you is awful. And that you were unable to get any kind of justice only makes it worse. No one should go through that. There’s no excuse for what that man did to you. You’ve suffered for a long time. Now you’re coming out of your pain and thinking about having a family. Which is great, but what you’re not dealing with are the rest of the consequences.”
Charlie didn’t want to hear any of this. She wanted to get up, toss her coffee cup into the trash and stalk out. Which would make excellent TV, but this was her life. Dakota was a friend. She was also a trained psychologist. Charlie should probably listen to her. Even if every word made her uncomfortable, like being trapped in a small, dark box.
“Go on,” she said softly.
“If you didn’t want to be with a man because you’d given relationships several tries and they weren’t for you, then fine. But you’re avoiding men because you’re afraid. Afraid of trust, afraid of intimacy, both physical and emotional. You keep people you fear at bay by intimidating them. You’re one of the strongest women I know, Charlie, and one of the weakest. To simply cut off a piece of yourself out of fear isn’t who you are.”
Summer Nights (Fool's Gold #8)
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