Chapter Ten
It has been ten days and three tour stops since I had talked to Rhys alone on Jake and Abby’s bus. Although three months had passed since our time together in Savannah, the pain was just as fresh as the day he had broken my heart. Whoever said time healed all wounds was deluding themselves. Every time I had to see Rhys or be around him, the flimsy gauze I’d placed over my heart was stripped away, leaving the wound to ache and fester.
I’m not sure how I made it through the rest of the semester without completely flunking out. After that agonizing last day when Rhys shattered my world, I found it hard to cope. The first few days I didn’t get out of bed. Cassie and my other roommates force-fed me soup and some of my favorite takeout. Then Cassie used tough love on me to get me out of bed. Once I finally came out of that emotional coma, I began a somewhat zombie existence—I went through the motions of school and work, even singing at Saffie’s, but my heart wasn’t in it. It was too obliterated after the dream I’d harbored since I was just a thirteen-year-old kid had been destroyed.
I didn’t hear from Rhys again after he blew out of town that day. While my dress and shoes arrived in a dry-cleaned garment bag, there was no note attached to it. Part of me couldn’t believe he didn’t at least call to check on me. That would have been the decent thing to do, but I guess I’d been deceived about who he really was all along. At the end of the day, I almost wanted to believe that he was as cold and callous as his parents, but I knew better. Years of watching Jake slowly self-destruct when it came to his relationships with others had made me better able to see Rhys as he truly was. He just couldn’t handle what had happened between us. At the end of the day, I truly believed he felt more for me than he could let himself acknowledge.
Thankfully, I hadn’t had to see him until Jax and Jules’s baptism. I couldn’t help wondering if he would try to avoid the ceremony all together. As godmother to Jax, he knew I would be there. Part of me had so desperately wanted him to be there so I could see him again while the other part hoped that he wouldn’t so my heart wouldn’t be torn in two yet again.
When he had walked into the room where we had all congregated before the ceremony, I found it hard to breathe. I’d clutched Jax tighter in my arms to keep me grounded, so I wouldn’t pass out. He’d given me one small smile and a hello—the same kind you would give to someone you were barely acquainted with. It was like I had spent three weeks with an entirely different person—that I’d made love with an entirely different person. And the fissure that had been etched into my heart by his previous behavior grew even wider.
Even without the internship, I would have found myself partaking on a nomadic existence to be Jake and Abby’s nanny, and in turn, I would have once again been partaking in Rhys’s orbit. While I often could hide away with the kids, the internship forced me to work with the Runaway Train stylist, but more importantly, with the guys of Runaway Train. It was not something I was looking forward to.
Glancing out the bus window, I watched as we pulled into the CenturyLink Center in Omaha for tonight’s show. Balancing Jax on my lap, I finished washing off his face from the baby cereal he’d had. Across from me, Jake was doing the same thing to Jules. While we had been feeding the twins, Abby had been getting ready to go on stage for rehearsals as soon as we got in.
She came out of the bedroom dressed and ready just as the bus eased to a stop. Since Omaha was just a one-night stop, we wouldn’t be staying in a hotel room. The twins would be shuttled back and forth between the arena and the bus. It was hard, but somehow we all made it work.
The bus door opened, and Dustin, one of the bodyguards, hopped on. “You guys ready?”
“I think so.” When Abby began glancing frantically around, I said, “Everything for the twins is packed. They’re all taken care of.”
She gave me an appreciative smile. “Thank you, Allison.” She then took Jules from Jake. “Can you get their stuff, babe?”
“Sure,” Jake replied, a little less than enthusiastically.
We then exited the bus with Jax in my arms, Jules in Abby’s, and Jake loaded down with paraphernalia for the twins. “Remind me why there’s not a roadie doing this shit?” Jake grumbled, as we made our way into the arena.
“Because in real life, parents with twins don’t have roadies to schlep their stuff,” Abby replied.
“Blows for them,” he replied.
I’m not sure how Abby managed to stay so positive in the face of a grueling tour and raising two infants on a tour bus. I know she didn’t have a choice because she was not the type of mom to leave her kids behind, but at the same time, it exhausted me most days, and I was just watching the twins, not giving my heart and soul each night on stage as well.
Because of all of the Runaway Train children, there was always one room designated just for them to be during rehearsals and the shows, especially for the times when we didn’t have hotel rooms. When we got inside, we found Mia and Lily already there. Jake happily sat down the baby saucers next to one of the couches. Just as Abby and I got the twins settled in the saucers, a technician appeared in the doorway. “We’re ready for Jacob’s Ladder.”
“I’ll be right there,” Abby called over her shoulder. She then focused her attention on her son and daughter. “Bye, my angels. I’ll be right back. Okay?” Abby said to the twins. They continued bouncing happily in their saucers.
At Abby’s hesitation, I tried reassuring her. “They’ll be fine.”
“I know. I’m such an idiot to get so worked up over leaving them for half an hour.”
I smiled. “I think it’s more the fact you’re a good mom, instead of an idiot.”
Abby grinned. “I think I like your way of phrasing things better.”
When she hustled out of the room, Jake turned to me. “Hey, where do you want to do the measurements?” he asked. Yesterday when we were on the road, I’d reminded Jake that I needed to get the measurements for Runaway Train and Jacob’s Ladder for my internship. I hadn’t pressed the matter the first week on the road because I wanted to get settled in. He had taken it very seriously and texted all the guys to make sure they were ready for measurements once we rolled into Omaha.
“How about in the dressing room?”
He bobbed his head. “Sounds good. I’ll get the guys together and be there in ten. Okay?”
“Sounds good. I’ll just run back to the bus to get my stuff.”
“Make sure Dustin or Ed goes with you.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes at his overprotectiveness. “I will. And thanks for being so understanding about my internship.”
Leaning over, he ruffled the top of my head. “Anything for you, Allie-Bean.”
Bile rose in my throat at the mention of the nickname—the very one Rhys had called me. Of course, I couldn’t say anything to Jake about it. Sometimes it was exhausting keeping up a fa?ade around Jake and the others, especially when Rhys was around.
With Mia and Lily keeping an eye on the twins, I headed back to the bus with Ed, the hulking bodyguard, in tow. Once I had all the materials I would need, we made our way back into the arena. I could hear the opening of Jacob’s Ladder’s rehearsal as we weaved through the chaotic backstage area.
When I got to Runaway Train’s dressing room, I found only Jake and Brayden. “Where are the other guys?”
Jake scowled. “Good f*cking question. I just texted them where to be.”
Up the hall, the sound of Gloria Estefan’s Conga blared out of the room where the kids were. Jake and I exchanged a look. “I think we know where AJ is,” Jake said.
I giggled. “Yeah, that has him written all over it. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that all the kids are eighties fans.”
Brayden’s brows scrunched in confusion. “Since when does he listen to Cuban music?”
Jake grunted. “Since your kids and his are eighties fans and they wear out that Greatest 80s Hits CD.”
With a grin, Brayden replied, “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
Pointing his finger at me, Jake said, “I’ll go get AJ, and you can find Rhys.”
“No, no, that’s all right. I’ll grab AJ, and I’m sure Rhys will show up,” I quickly replied. The last thing on earth I wanted to do was try to hunt Rhys down. Before Jake could argue with me, I dipped out into the hallway.
When I opened the door to the kids’ room, I couldn’t help laughing. Jude, Melody, and Bella were all encircling AJ while dancing around. AJ had Gaby in his arms and was putting down some serious moves. Even Jax and Jules were bouncing wildly in their saucers at the music.
At the sight of me, AJ began singing along, “Come on shake your body, baby, do the conga. I know you can’t control yourself any longer.” With his free hand, he motioned for me to join them.
I held up my hands. “Uh, no, I don’t think so.”
After handing Gaby off to Jude, he then whisked me into his arms before I could protest anymore and then danced me around the room. “No one can say no to the conga,” he replied, when he dipped me.
I giggled. “You’re very persuasive.”
“Dance wif me, Daddy!” Bella cried behind us.
“Sorry to be a party pooper, but I need to get your measurements.”
AJ released me from his arms to smack himself in the forehead. “Shi—I mean, shoot. I totally forgot.”
“It’s okay.”
At Bella’s pouty face, AJ leaned down and kissed her on the head. “I’ll be right back, mija.”
When we got back into the dressing room, I found it was still just Jake and Brayden. “I don’t know where the hell he is. I just texted him again.”
Waving my hand nonchalantly as if it truly didn’t hurt me and piss me off, I replied, “It doesn’t matter. I can work on getting all of yours first.”
Jake stepped forward. “I’m sure you need to get the most important member first, right?” he asked, wearing a teasing expression.
“Of course,” I replied.
Setting down my notepad, I then grabbed my tape measure and pencil and went to work. “Done,” I said, once I’d worked my way from his neck all the way down his body.
“You did that just like a professional.”
I smiled at his compliment. After I draped the measuring tape back around my neck, I stooped over my notepad to enter Jake’s measurements more formally than what I had scribbled on a scratch piece of paper.
When I finished and turned around, AJ was whipping off his “Drummers Bang Harder” T-shirt. I bit down on my lip to keep from laughing. “Um, you don’t have to be naked for me to get accurate measurements.”
He grinned. “After doing your brother’s, I thought you might like to take in an example of a real man’s physique.”
Jake snorted as he collapsed onto the couch. “Keep dreaming, a*shole.”
While AJ preened in front of the mirror, flexing his biceps and dancing his pecs, I pulled the tape from around my neck. “Okay, Mr. Hot Stuff, let’s do this.”
A frown lined AJ’s brows as he gazed in the mirror. He ran his hand up and down the washboard abs that drove women wild. “You know, I’m starting to think having kids has turned my six-pack into a keg.”
Across the room from us, Brayden howled with laughter. “Last time I checked, it was Mia birthing the kids, not you, so I’m not quite sure how your girlish figure was affected.”
After AJ scowled at Brayden, he turned to me. “What do you think, Allison?”
I couldn’t help the laughter that tumbled out of my lips at both his question and the seriousness with which he asked it. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, AJ.”
With a waggle of his brows, he asked, “So you think I’m a DILF, eh?”
Jake groaned. “Seriously, AJ? Don’t ask Allison shit like that.”
Ignoring Mr. Overprotective, I nodded. “Totally a DILF. Mia is one lucky woman.”
A beaming smile lit up his handsome face. Drawing me into his arms for an appreciative hug, AJ said, “Thank you. I knew you were a woman with very good taste.”
That was the moment Rhys chose to appear in the doorway. His gaze momentarily narrowed on at me in AJ’s arms. Then as if he realized we weren’t alone, his expression softened. “What’s going on?”
Taking a step back, AJ peered around me at Rhys. “Where the hell have you been, man? You knew Allison needed to get our measurements before rehearsal.”
He shrugged. “Sorry. I didn’t know it was such a big deal.”
His words had the same effect as if he had driven a dagger deep into my chest. Although I should have looked away, I couldn’t help staring into his eyes, desperately trying to find the Rhys I had loved for so long. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why he was being an a*shole to me. And while his dissing my internship hurt, the total lack of kindness he was showing me was much worse. Mainly because it was so against Rhys’s usual character.
Rising off the couch, Jake eyeballed Rhys, and I could tell the big brother in him was getting rankled. “Allie’s fashion internship is a big deal.”
Instead of looking at Jake, Rhys looked at me. Deep down, he knew how important it was. He’d been right there with me in Savannah when I’d told him all about it. In fact, he’d believed in me so implicitly then. But now, he was downplaying it like it was nothing at all to him.
“It’s fine, Jake. I was busy with you guys anyway,” I replied, as I brought the tape measure to AJ’s neck.
Undaunted, Jake said, “Why don’t you do Allison a favor and go get Eli and Gabe?”
“They’re still rehearsing with Abby,” Rhys replied, as he grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler.
“Worthless,” Jake muttered under his breath.
Just as I was finishing up with Brayden’s measurements, Frank, the head roadie for Runaway Train, came in the door. “Hey, Jake, I need all of you guys to head on up to the stage. One of the set changes is giving us problems in this arena, and I want to make sure you guys think it’s working out okay.
“Rhys, once you’re done with your measurements, come meet us on the stage,” Jake said.
“Okay,” Rhys replied.
When the door shut behind them, leaving us all alone, I couldn’t help jumping. Loud silence reverberated around the room as if we were locked in a tomb. As I stood in front of Rhys, I slid my measuring tape off my neck. I knew I was going to have to break the silence between us. “You know, I thought we had agreed to be friends.”
Rhys’s brows shot up in surprise. “Who said we weren’t?”
I gave him a sad smile. “This—” I motioned between us, “Doesn’t feel much like friendship.”
With an apologetic expression, Rhys protested, “I’m trying my best, Allison.”
“By blowing off this fitting? You, of all people, know how important this internship is. You were there cheering me on from almost the beginning. Now you act as if you couldn’t give a shit.”
“Please believe me when I say that I am sorry for being late to the fitting. I wasn’t intentionally blowing it off to be an a*shole. I couldn’t say it in front of the others, but I’ve been trying to give you some space to work through your feelings for me. That’s what I was doing this afternoon when I lost track of time. Then I thought by acting like I didn’t care in front of Jake, he wouldn’t think there had been anything between us.”
I couldn’t help feeling wounded by the fact he was actually working to avoid me and treating me with kid gloves. But instead of showing my hurt, I plastered a smile onto my face. “I see,” I replied. I then brought the tape measure to his neck. The moment my fingers touched his bare skin, he jumped. “Sorry if my fingers are cold.”
“It’s fine,” he replied, as I turned away to scribble down the inches.
“Raise your arms,” I requested. As I brought my arms around Rhys, my face brushed against his chest. I couldn’t stop the tremor that went through me as I inhaled his cologne. While I fitted the tape against his pecs, I remembered what his bare chest looked like, even what it felt like as his body hovered over mine when we were making love. Even though I hated the way he had been acting, I couldn’t deny the attraction I still felt for him. I wanted to rub my body against his, feel his hands on me like they had been once before.
After pushing away my lustful thoughts, I ordered, “Bend your arm at the elbow and place it on your hip.”
“Don’t I get a ‘please’?” he asked, with a teasing lilt in his voice.
“You missed out on ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ because you were late,” I countered, running the tape measure down his bicep.
He sighed. “I did say I was sorry. I promise the next time you need me for something, I’ll be on time. I swear.”
Eyeing him, I searched his face and saw true sincerity. I nodded. “Okay then.”
After getting his waist and hips, I scribbled down the measurements, all the while dreading what I had to do next. For some reason, it hadn’t seemed as mortifying to do Brayden or AJ’s inseam. But I already felt my cheeks warming at the mere thought of doing it to Rhys. It also didn’t help that we were all alone.
I dropped to my knees in front of him. “What the f*ck do you think you’re doing?” Rhys demanded, as he jumped back from me like he had been scalded with hot water.
Tilting my head up at him, I blew a few strands of hair out of my face. “I’m sorry. I have to get your inseam, or the pants won’t fit right.”
Rhys clenched and unclenched his jaw a few moments before he stepped back in front of me. It didn’t help matters that my face had to be right on eyelevel with his crotch to get the measurements.
“C-Can you s-spread your legs a little?” With a grunt, Rhys shifted his feet and moved his legs. “Thank you,” I replied, as I brought the tape up to the inside of his groin. The moment my hand brushed against his crotch, Rhys’s hips jerked forward.
Trying to ignore his reaction, I took the tape and ran it down his leg to the back of his heel. When I started to remove the tape, I sucked in a breath. The front of Rhys’s jeans strained with a half-mast bulge.
When I jerked my gaze up to his, he shook his head furiously. “Don’t look at me like that!”
“How am I looking at you?” I whispered.
He licked his lips. “Like you want to do something about what you caused.”
Heat warmed my cheeks. “I didn’t mean to. I was just getting your measurements.”
Reaching down, Rhys grabbed me under my arms and hauled me to my feet. My tape measure fell to the floor between us. As Rhys crushed me against his chest, his wild gaze focused on mine. “I guess you’re happy about that, huh?”
I didn’t like the tone he was using with me—it wasn’t him. He had never spoken like this to me before. “No, I—”
“None of the other guys sprung wood while you were touching them, did they?” he demanded. When I shook my head, he said, “I didn’t think they did. They’re not me—they don’t get affected by you like I do.”
My heart leapt into my throat at his statement. “Y-You do?”
He slid his hand over my hip to cup my buttocks. When he pressed his bulge against my core, we both gasped at the pleasure. “You tell me. Am I affected by you?”
“Yes. Very much.”
Grinding his pelvis into mine again, he asked, “Are you affected by me?”
“Yes. Always,” I murmured, staring into his hooded eyes.
With his mouth hovering over mine, Rhys shook his head. “F*ck me, Allison…I thought we were going to be friends.”
“We are.”
A defeated look crept into his eyes. “This doesn’t feel like friendship. It feels like much, much more.”
What the hell? He was giving me whiplash from his emotional yo-yoing back and forth. Did he mean that he really wanted me now? Or was he just teasing me for more of his own sadistic fun? I was starting to think Rhys could be one cruel bastard.
“Maybe that’s because one of us hasn’t been honest about how they truly feel,” I countered, jerking my chin up.
As the color drained from his face, Rhys froze his movements against me. Just when he opened his mouth to say something, the door flew open, and Eli burst inside followed by Gabe. “Here we are. Reporting for our fitting,” Eli said, giving me a mock salute.
Rhys jerked back from me so fast I was sure he was going to end up with whiplash. He spun around to hide the evidence of his arousal from Eli and Gabe. I turned to face the twins. “Hey guys, I’m ready when you are.”
Glancing past me, Gabe’s brows furrowed at Rhys. “You okay, man?” he asked.
Instead of replying, Rhys grabbed a shirt off the rack that I was sure he was going to drape in front of his crotch. Plastering on a smile for Gabe, I replied, “It’s all my fault. I accidentally stuck him with one of my pins when I was getting his inseam measurement.” Thank goodness they bought my lie, considering there was no need for pins at the moment.
Both Eli and Gabe grimaced. Bringing his hand in front of his crotch, Eli said, “You better take extra care around my junk. It’s very precious to me.”
I laughed. “I’ll try hard to remember that.” When I bent down to scribble in the last of Rhys’s measurements, he finally turned around. The color had returned to his face, and he flashed a smile at the twins.
“If you guys are done rehearsing, guess it means we’re up. See you later,” Rhys said. He brushed past me without another word.
While I fought to keep my emotions in check, Eli stepped in front of me, blocking my view of Rhys’s retreating form. He surveyed me with a dead serious expression. “I’m ready for you, Allison. Are you ready for me?” he said, in a throaty, sexy voice.
I burst out laughing at his teasing. “What?” he questioned, running a hand seductively down his chest to stop right above his belt buckle.
“You’re an idiot,” Gabe said behind us.
“Don’t be jealous of the fact my maleness is overpowering Allison right now,” Eli countered.
My hand flew to my mouth to hide my laughter at his antics. Over the last three and a half years, I’d gotten to know Gabe and Eli somewhat well. It wasn’t until Eli and I were brought together as Jax’s godparents that I got to know him even better. While I’d been trying to avoid Rhys at the baptism, Eli had been more than happy to keep me entertained. We’d spent most of the baptism party together, walking along Jake’s property and talking about anything and everything. Eli was fun to be with, and it didn’t hurt that he was drop-dead gorgeous either. Part of me couldn’t help wishing that I was attracted to Eli on a different level. It might be just the thing to get me to forget about Rhys.
When I finally recovered, I crooked my finger at him to come a little closer. Just to tease him, I whispered in a seductive voice, “Let’s get your measurements.”
“No pins, right?” he questioned.
“It’s fine. I promise.”
While Eli stood stock still, I got his upper body measurements. When I dropped down to get his inseam, he snickered like an immature teenage boy. “Seriously?” I questioned.
“Sorry, it’s just I usually buy a girl dinner before I expect her on her knees.”
“Really?”
He grinned. “Okay, so I rarely have to buy her dinner first.”
“You’re a real charmer, aren’t you, Eli?” I muttered.
Gabe shook his head. “Better be glad Jake wasn’t in here to hear you say that. He’d have your dick for sure.”
I sighed. “Honestly, Jake has got to get over being so overprotective.” When I started to rise off my knees, Eli reached down to help me up. “Thanks.”
He gave me a sincere smile. “You’re welcome. And don’t be giving Jake a hard time. It’s only natural for older brothers to feel protective of our sisters. We felt the same way about Abby.”
Gabe bobbed his head. “Even though she was totally of age, we all almost shit a brick when she ended up on a bus full of strange rockers.”
I laughed. “But that had a happy ending, didn’t it?”
“Yes, and that’s exactly the only reason why your brother is still breathing and not six feet under,” Eli replied, with a wink.
Once I finished with Gabe’s measurements, I gathered up my sketch pad. “Thanks again guys for helping me out with this internship.”
“We’re glad to do it,” Gabe replied.
As I started for the door, Eli stopped me. “Where are you going?”
“To my real summer job—watching your niece and nephew.”
“Want some help?”
I raised my brows in surprise. “Don’t you have better things to be doing before the show?”
He shrugged. “What could be better than spending time with a beautiful girl as well as my flesh and blood?”
My cheeks warmed at his compliment. With everything happening with Rhys, it felt good to have a desirable guy call me beautiful. “I guess not.”
Eli grinned as he followed me down the hall to where the kids were corralled. Thankfully, Mia and Lily were watching the twins for me while I was with the guys. But of course, Abby had come straight in from the rehearsal to be with her babies. She had Jules in her arms, rocking her back and forth to quiet her cries.
“Everything okay?” I asked, after I sat my notebook down on the table. I then eased Jax out of his saucer and took him into my arms.
“It’s fine. I think she’s just ready for a nap.” While the room had been booming with noise earlier with AJ playing DJ, it was quiet now. In the far corner at a table away from the others, Lily worked on school work with eight-year-old Jude and five-year-old Melody. Across the room, Mia sat on a pallet full of toys, playing with Bella, Gaby, and Lucy.
Eli swooped over to take Jules into his arms. “What’s wrong, baby girl?” he questioned. She immediately quieted and stared wide-eyed up at Eli. He made crazy faces at her until Jules was giggling and kicking her legs and feet. I couldn’t help smiling at him along with Jules. Eli certainly had a good heart, and when it came to him and Gabe, he was always much more interested in holding and spending time with the twins.
A roadie appeared in the doorway with a guitar in his hand. “There you are,” he said to Eli. He then crossed the room over to us.
“Did you get it fixed?” Eli asked, with an anxious expression.
The roadie nodded. “Try it out and see for yourself.”
Eli handed Jules back to Abby. Then he took the guitar in his hand. Easing down on the couch, he propped it on his knee and began strumming some chords. He glanced up and grinned. “Thanks, man. It sounds good as new.”
“No problem. Let me know if you have any other problems with it,” the roadie replied, before heading out the door.
“Did you break a string during rehearsals?”
“Yeah, the E-string, which totally fu—” Eli glanced around at all the kids within earshot. “Totally messed up the entire set of strings. I didn’t know what I was going to do at the show tonight.”
“Couldn’t you have just borrowed one?” I asked, bouncing Jax on my knee.
At my simple question, Eli sucked in a horrified breath while Abby rolled her eyes. “Did I say something wrong?”
Abby shook her head. “It’s just Eli gets a bit OCD about his guitars.”
“I’m an artist, and artists are always particular about the palette with which they use,” Eli countered.
“When Jacob’s Ladder was just starting out, his favored guitar got left behind on a tour stop. When Eli realized what happened, he freaked, and although he had an exact replica to play with, he still barely made it through the show without a ton of mistakes.”
“I had no idea you were so particular,” I replied.
Strumming the guitar, Eli seemed to tune us out for the moment. Almost instantly I recognized it as Kenny Chesney’s You and Tequila. For a moment, I was transported away from the dressing room and back to my time in Savannah. Any time the word “tequila” was mentioned, I always thought of Rhys and our night together. It was hard to believe out of all of the songs out there, Eli would choose this one to play.
As I started humming along, I bounced Jax in my arms. When Eli abruptly stopped and the guitar strings made a screeching noise, I jumped. “You,” he said, pointing a finger at me.
“Me what?”
“You could totally sing duet with me on this song.”
I widened my eyes in horror. “No, I couldn’t.”
“Oh come on, I’m dying to do this song live, but Abby refuses to sing it with me.”
Abby laughed. “Call me crazy, but for some reason, it seems a little odd to be singing a duet with your brother. I told you we could totally do it with you as a solo.”
When I giggled, Eli scowled at us. “I have one simple request, and I can’t make it happen.”
Taking pity on him, I eased down on the couch beside him. Once I adjusted Jax on my lap, I smiled at Eli. “I’ll sing it with you now, but only so you can practice it to do it alone. I’m not a professional singer, and I’m certainly not going in front of thousands and thousands of people to sing.”
“You really will?”
I nodded. “It doesn’t hurt that Jax and Jules love to be sung to, and it’s almost their nap time.”
Eli grinned at me. “I’ll take it any way you’ll give it to me.” Scooting closer to me on the couch, he adjusted the guitar on his knees. After he turned toward me, he then began strumming the opening chords to the song again. It was just pure dumb luck that I even knew the lyrics to the song. I hadn’t always been a huge country music fan. It had just grown on me after Jake and Abby got together. I’d tagged along with them to the CMAs, and after meeting Kenny Chesney in person, I started listening to his music.
When Eli started singing the first verse, Jax eased back to lie against my chest. Just like Abby, Eli had an amazing voice. It almost wasn’t fair that he was so good-looking and so talented. Not to mention he had such an endearing personality. He really was a triple threat who was going to make some woman very happy someday—I just hated that it most likely wasn’t going to be me.
As we got to the chorus, he winked at me. And then I chimed in with him. “You and tequila make me crazy—run like poison in my blood. One more night could kill me, baby…”
Pausing in his singing, Eli closed his eyes in mock ecstasy. “We sound amazing!” he cried, enthusiastically over the music.
Abby and I laughed at his over-the-top comment. In my arms, Jax craned his tiny neck up to watch me as I sang. I smiled down at him, and when I finished my part, I kissed the strands of his dark hair. When we started the second verse, I came in whenever the original singer, Grace Potter, usually sang.
Halfway through, I glanced up to see Rhys framed in the doorway. One hand was braced on the doorframe and his knee was bent as if he froze in mid-walk. His eyes bore into mine, and I felt a rush of warmth singe my cheeks at the intensity of his stare. For a moment, I didn’t bother tearing my eyes away from his. Instead, I was too interested in surveying the range of emotions playing out on his face. Curiosity at why I was singing with Eli was there along with actual interest and enjoyment in hearing me sing again. My heartbeat ratcheted up a few notches at what I hoped was the sight of jealousy seething below the surface as he watched Eli directing his singing to me. There was also acknowledgement of the importance of the subject matter of the song.
In his mind, tequila had been our undoing back in Savannah. While it had somewhat attributed to my uninhibited behavior with him, it certainly didn’t make me do anything I hadn’t dreamed of doing for many years. Regardless of what warped ideas he had in his mind about why we couldn’t be together, I knew what the truth was. He was just too damn scared to admit that he cared for me. He feared Jake, but more than anything else, he feared giving himself to someone else. He’d been burned by those who were supposed to love him, so he had no idea how to actually love someone else without getting hurt.
Rhys’s brows shot far into his hairline when Eli sang the line, “When it comes to you, oh the damage I could do. It’s always your favorite sins that do you in.” His free hand came up to rub along his jawline before moving back to grip the strands of his hair at the base of his neck.
I could only imagine why the line was bothering him so much. It was the epitome of the impasse we found ourselves at. And so far, he had managed to do a lot of damage to my heart and to the relationship we’d once had.
Part of me ached to go to Rhys. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him that it could all be all right if he would just let go with his preconceived worries. But the other part of me ached to go over and throttle him for being such a stubborn bastard.
At the end of the song, I brought Jax’s hands together to clap. He giggled and bounced in my lap. “You liked that, huh?”
As Jax squealed his approval, Eli said, “I think he’s giving his seal of approval that a duet needs to happen between the two of us.”
“A duet?” Jake’s voice bellowed from the doorway. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Eli and I so close together on the couch. “What are you guys doing?”
“Just messing around,” I replied.
Knocking Rhys out of the way, Jake then crossed the room in two long strides to stand in front of Eli and me. At the sight of his dad, Jax went crazy lifting his arms and reaching for Jake, so Jake picked him up. He then appeared almost comical with a menacing look on his face directed at Eli as he bounced his baby boy in his arms.
“You’ve been holding out on us, Jake,” Eli said.
“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing between me and Eli.
“Allison can seriously sing.”
Jake glowered at him. “Yeah, she’s got a good voice. What about it?”
Eli rolled his eyes. “You should be maximizing her talent by putting her out on the stage.”
I opened my mouth to argue with him when Rhys piped up behind Jake. “Allison wouldn’t want that. While she might like to sing at low-key places, she would never, ever want to perform to thousands of people. Besides, her talents are far better served with fashion design.”
Even if I had been forced to, I couldn’t have taken my eyes off of Rhys in that moment for anything in the world. He was constantly throwing me emotional curve balls, and this was yet another one. With everyone peering at him in surprise, Rhys shrugged. “It’s the truth.”
Patting Eli on the leg, I said, “Rhys is right. I’m not a performer.”
“Except at Saffie’s,” Rhys replied, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.
Jake’s dark brows furrowed. “What the hell is Saffie’s?”
Rhys’s wide-eyed, horrified look told me he hadn’t meant to out me. I’m sure after all these months, he figured I had told Jake. Exhaling a long breath, I said, “Just a lesbian night club I was singing at once a week back in Savannah.”
Shifting Jax to his other hip, Jake then appeared almost comical with a questioning expression on his face. “Allie-Bean, is there something you need to tell me?”
“Huh?”
Jake grimaced. “It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.” When I continued giving him a blank look, he said, “Do you need to tell me about you being…” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “Gay,” he said, in a whisper.
I busted out laughing. Both Eli and Rhys started laughing along with me. “Jake, I’m not gay. I was just singing at a gay club.”
“Oh,” Jake replied. For a moment, he didn’t appear relieved. In a warped way, I guess it would have been easier for him for me to be gay when we were out on tour with a bunch of horny males. Then his expression changed over to one that was serious big brother protector. “You were underage and singing at a nightclub? I’m pretty sure that Dad and Nancy don’t know about this.”
“They do now. I didn’t tell them at first because I figured they would freak out just like you’re starting to do.”
“You should have seen her Jake. She was amazing,” Rhys said.
Jake’s gaze snapped from mine to Rhys’s. “What the hell, dude? You knew about this?”
Rhys nodded. “I went to one of her shows.”
“And you never thought that maybe I needed to know?”
With a shrug, Rhys replied, “It wasn’t for me to tell.” He glanced over at me. “She’s good. Really good.”
My heartbeat accelerated at his words. I was momentarily distracted by Abby’s hand on my shoulder. “Oh, Allison, I wish we could have seen you.”
“I have it on video,” Rhys said, digging his phone out of his pocket.
“You do?” I asked, my voice choking off with emotion.
“I thought Jake might want to see it one day,” Rhys replied.
“Oh,” I murmured.
Abby squealed with glee and slid in beside Eli on the couch. Jake reluctantly squeezed in beside her. Leaning over the back of the couch, Rhys started playing the video. It was hard processing him being so open about me and my singing. When it came down to it, I couldn’t believe he was sharing anything that connected us and our infamous time in Savannah.
“You sound amazing!” Abby exclaimed.
Warmth filled my cheeks at her compliments. “Thanks.”
Nudging Jake, Abby said, “Doesn’t she sound amazing, babe?”
Jake bobbed his head. “I can’t get over how grown up she looks and sounds.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “You’re absolutely phenomenal, Allie-Bean.”
Tears stung my eyes at the sincerity of his words. “Thank you.”
“That’s one sexy dress you’re rockin’ there. You look beautiful in red. Love the boots, too,” Eli said, winking at me.
Jake smacked the back of his head. “Ow!” Eli cried.
“Watch what you say to my sister,” Jake muttered through gritted teeth.
“Honestly, Jake, I’m almost twenty-one, not twelve,” I countered.
“You’ll always be my baby sister, even when you’re eighty.”
“And you’re ninety and dead?” Eli questioned.
“Shut up,” Jake replied, which caused me to giggle. Jake then jerked his gaze over his shoulder to Rhys. “Anything else I need to know about that happened when you two were together in Savannah?”
His question caused a shudder to run through me. Rhys threw a quick glance at me before fixing his gaze on Jake. A nervous laugh escaped his lips. “Nothing else besides some touristy stuff I dragged Allison to.”
Jake snickered. “Guess you’re still a history nerd, huh?”
“Yeah, he is,” I quickly replied.
After Jake seemed appeased with our responses, he, Abby, and Eli began to run through the merits of my performance. But I tuned them out. All I could do was stare at Rhys. Even when he met my gaze and held it, I couldn’t look away. I didn’t care what he thought about me staring at him—I enjoyed even the smallest of connections with him. And while my chest clenched with the agony of how I should abandon my feelings for him, I once again wished that somehow or some way things could be different between us.