September Moon (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #8)

“That’s not your decision to make, Lex,” he said, his voice calm but his tone heavy with restrained anger. “You don’t get to tell me how to spend my life, and you sure as hell don’t get to choose my pack.”


“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intent to upset you or to make you think I’m trying to drive you away.”

“Aren’t you though?” He did stand up then, pulling away when I reached for him. His expression was one of hurt and dismay. “I pledged myself to you. My wolf belongs to yours. Nothing is going to change that. Not even your death. I just can’t imagine why you would want it to.”

Shaz didn’t give me a chance to respond. He turned and walked out without a glance back. I sat there stunned, staring around the room but barely seeing it. What had just happened?

Slowly I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Fuck,” I muttered. Matters of the heart were always the most complicated.

“Are you ok?”

I jumped when Willow’s voice broke through my thoughts. I hadn’t seen him approach. “Not really. Shaz is pissed off because I asked the Doghead pack to take him in as a member. He thinks I’m trying to get rid of him.”

“Are you?” Willow asked, his calm and caring nature making it so easy to open up.

“Maybe. But it’s not because I want to. I don’t. It’s because it’s selfish of me to rely so heavily on him when I can never give him the picket fence life he longs for.” Goddamn it was hard to say that.

Willow pondered this. He gazed at me with a thoughtful smile and patted my shoulder. “Alexa, millions of people have that picket fence life, and they are still not happy. Don’t mislead yourself into thinking there is an ultimate happiness out there somewhere. You’re only as happy as you let yourself be.”

“There you go again being all positive and inspiring and junk,” I joked, but I knew he was right. He was always right.

“If Shaz is happy with what you share right now, why take that from him? Why not just enjoy it while it lasts? Trust me. Those moments are fleeting. Don’t rush the ending.” Sadness stole over Willow, but he shoved it aside with one of the phoniest smiles I’d ever seen. The angel didn’t lie well.

“I can’t have them both,” I said, my gaze straying to Arys. Feeling my stare, he turned to give me a look that smoldered.

Willow followed my gaze. “No. In the end there will only be one. Love is complicated. Hell, it’s downright torment sometimes. Still, no need to rush the ending of a story that you’re not writing. Play your part and let each day come as it may.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I playfully punched Willow’s arm.

“Doesn’t it?” The sound of his chuckle filled me with warmth. I found encouragement in these talks with Willow.

“Yes and no,” I admitted, dragging myself out of the booth.

Willow slung an arm around me and rested his head against mine. “If you spend all of your time worrying, you will rob yourself of the good stuff. Only the memories will last, and now is the time to make them.”

“Roger that, wise all-knowing one.” I gave him a sarcastic salute but took his words to heart. “Thanks, Willow. You make more sense than anyone else I know. I’m grateful to know you.”

“Likewise, little Hound. Now go, take your friend home before some vampire gets it into his head to make a play for the unconscious leopard.”

* * * *

The scent of autumn leaves tickled my sensitive nose. The yellow grass crunched beneath me as I rolled over and stretched. A chickadee sang its repetitive little song until I cracked one eye open and gave him a look. A frog hopped through the grass a few feet away, pausing to check me out before continuing to the pond. The sound of a snapping branch brought me fully awake with a start. I whirled around with fangs bared to find Jez sneaking up on me through the brush.

She pounced on me before I could lunge at her. Her powerful back legs were like a spring, launching her through the air. She landed on the now empty spot where I’d just been laying.

Tongue lolling, I gave her my best wolfy smile. She might be fast and superbly coordinated, but I was fast too.

Blood stained the fur of her face, and I wondered what poor creature had met his end in Jez’s fierce paws. Coming home with me had been good for her. She’d been leopard since we arrived, and it seemed to be beneficial to her state of mind.

Jenner and Arys had taken up residence in my house. I had not heard from Shaz since he had walked out on me. He needed time to think things over. As for me, I needed to be wolf, like I always did when the vampire world became too much to handle.

Kylarai’s wedding was the day after tomorrow. Despite my offer to help with last minute details, she had insisted that everything was under control. I suspected that she preferred to do it all herself in order to make sure it was done right. I could respect that. I knew the feeling.