Safe With Me

Chapter Eleven

~Caleb~

I wake before the sun, alert and ready to start the day, despite only getting a couple hours sleep. We need to get an early start so we can get the girls to their school, Brynna to work, and I have to get to work myself.

We’ll be back at Bryn’s tonight.

I sigh and let my eyes travel over her face, down to her breast that’s pressed firmly to my ribcage through her thin nightshirt and farther down to her waist. I can’t seem to say no to her, even when it’s for her own good, and I’m afraid that that will be my greatest mistake.

She is my weakness, but she strengthens me too. It’s the damndest thing.

The reminder of last night’s nightmare rocks through me and I clench my eyes closed and hug her tightly against me.

Jesus f*cking Christ, I could have killed her. What is wrong with me? Yeah, war f*cking sucks, but you come home and you get on with your life.

You don’t jump like a p-ssy over every loud noise and you for damn sure don’t try to choke out the woman that means more to you than life itself.

I press my lips and nose to her hair and inhale deeply, letting her sweet scent of vanilla and lavender fill my head and soothe me.

All I have to do is smell her and I’m calmer, yet I know I should pull away from her altogether. She and the girls need someone who’s not so f*cked up in the head. They deserve someone that doesn’t lose his shit in crowds and have nightmares that make him want to shit the bed.

But the thought of someone else holding Brynna like this, or watching her two girls grow up into young women, makes me even more crazy in the head.

I pull back and look down into sleepy brown eyes. She’s watching me lazily, and has begun to rub her hand up and down my side. She pushes one of those long legs between my own.

“’Mornin’,” she mumbles.

“Good mornin’, Legs.” I kiss her forehead and pull my pelvis back as she drags her hand down from my side to my dick, enjoying my morning wood.

“Stop,” I whisper and pull her hand up to my lips. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean?” She asks with a frown.

“Not yet.” I shake my head and lace my fingers with hers, holding her hand close to my chest. “I need to say something.”

“Okay,” she mutters and settles against me, not letting me go, which is a good sign.

I couldn’t bare it if she was afraid to be close to me.

“I just want to say something about last night,” I begin and frown as I try to gather my thoughts. She just waits quietly, not moving, not tensing up. Just waiting for me. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you and scared all of you.”

She opens her mouth to argue but I lean in and press my lips softly to hers, shutting her up.

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, Brynna,” I whisper against her lips. “And I’ve met some damn strong people. You surprise me, and you humble me, and I’m grateful to be here with all of you.”

Before she can respond, I kiss her again, more deeply now, and feel my cock harden in anticipation of sliding inside her.

Except, it’s going to be disappointed to find that it’ll be going without this morning.

Right now, this moment, is all about her.

I gently push her onto her back and pull away so I can examine the light purple marks around her neck.

“I’m fine,” she murmurs, but I look up into her chocolate eyes with sadness and regret. “I’m. Fine.”

I lower my gaze again and tip her chin up with my finger, gaining access to press light, tender kisses to her bruised skin. She purrs low in her throat and kneads the muscles of my shoulders as I move down her chest, licking and kissing her lazily. Her nipples pebble beneath her thin tank and I grip the hem and pull it up, exposing her perfect tits to my mouth. I suck and torment her, making her moan again.

“Caleb,” she whispers.

“Shhh.” I blow on the wet buds, making them pucker more and then continue on my quest down her slightly rounded stomach, kissing along the waistline to each hip, up each side, counting her ribs with my tongue. She boosts her hips up as I snag the hem of the shorts in my fingers and drag them, along with her panties, over her hips, down her long legs, and toss them onto the floor.

“Do we have time for this?” she breathes and clenches the sheets in her fists.

“Oh, I think so,” I assure her and push her legs together and up, my hands pressed to the backs of her thighs, so her knees meet her chest. I lower my head and lick her, from her anus, through her sopping wet lips and to her already-swollen *.

“God, you taste f*cking amazing,” I growl and repeat the motion again. She slaps her hands over mine, gripping me and pulling her legs even closer to her chest as I lap at her p-ssy.

I feel her start to quiver, and her legs begin to tremble beneath my hands. I release her and spread her wide, gazing up at her as I wrap my lips around her * and suck rhythmically. Two fingers plunge inside her and she begins to buck beneath me, pushing her p-ssy against my hand and face, shaking her head back and forth on the pillow, her dark hair a riot around her sweet face, coming apart.

Her muscles squeeze me beautifully, and I want nothing more than to sink inside her and ride her hard until I come, but we definitely don’t have time for that.

I continue to kiss her lips and * gently, her thighs and pubis, as she pants and combs her fingers through my hair, scrubbing my scalp with her fingernails.

Before she can ask me to make love to her, I climb up her long body, kiss her deeply and then push away, sauntering to the bathroom with my shorts jutting out like a tent.

“Hey!” She exclaims.

“What?” I toss a smile over my shoulder.

“You’re not done.”

“I’m fine,” I respond, pausing by the doorway to look back at her. I love seeing her on my bed, all rosy cheeked and satisfied.

My girl.

“We have to get the girls up and leave soon.” I sober and watch her silently for a moment. She sighs and pushes herself from the bed and walks to me, wrapping herself around me in a big hug.

“They’ll be fine, Caleb. Just be honest with them.” She grabs my hand and pulls me into the bathroom behind her. “We’ll finish what you started in the shower. Conserve water, and all that.”

I grin down into her happy eyes, cringing inside. What will I say to Maddie and Josie?

How do I explain what I don’t understand myself?

“You go ahead, Legs. We’ll conserve water another time.”

She frowns up at me in confusion. Hell, I’m confused too. I just know that I’m not ready to make love to her again. Not yet.

“Another time,” I repeat and kiss her hair before making a hasty retreat; before I lose my resolve and pull her into that hot shower and lose myself in her.

***

“Girls, wake up,” I croon gently from the doorway, not wanting to startle them. Brynna is standing next to me, her hand on my low back. “You should wake them up,” I whisper to her.

“Stop worrying,” she whispers back with a small smile.

“Caleb!” Maddie jumps from the bed as soon as she opens her eyes and sees me. She runs over and wraps her arms around my waist, holding me tight.

I glance up at Josie and my heart stops. She’s sitting straight up in bed, her brown eyes – the same as her mom’s – wide and staring at me. She pulls her doll into her lap and hugs her tight.

She’s scared.

“Good morning, buttercup,” I murmur down to Maddie and squat down so I’m eye level with her. “How are you this morning?”

“I have to pee.”

“Well then you should go,” I chuckle at her and usher her through the door and turn to Josie. “Hey, jellybean.”

She turns her wide eyes to her mom and then back to me and stays silent. Brynna crosses to her and sits on the bed with her, running her hand down Josie’s long dark brown locks.

“Josie, it’s okay, sweetie.”

“You hurt my mom,” she whispers and clasps her lips tightly together when they start to quiver.

“I didn’t mean to, Josie, I swear.” I walk closer to the bed but she flinches and cowers into Brynna’s arms, so I stand where I am and shove my hands in my pockets, feeling like a complete a*shole and out of my element.

Now what?

Maddie comes bouncing back in the room and climbs up on the bed, looking back and forth between Josie and me.

“Josie,” Brynna murmurs softly. “It’s okay, baby.”

She shakes her head, frowning, clinging to her mom. She won’t meet my eyes.

She’s punishing me.

And she should. F*ck, I wouldn’t trust me either.

“It’s okay, Bryn,” I mutter and smile reassuringly at the girls. “Let’s get going. You all need to get to school and work, and so do I.”

I turn and leave the room, my heart shattering into a million pieces.

***

“You don’t have to walk me in,” Brynna tells me with a roll of the eyes. “Isaac is right there.”

“I don’t care. I’m walking you to the door,” I inform her and hold the car door open for her as she climbs out of my car.

We dropped the kids off at school ten minutes ago. Josie still won’t speak to me, but Maddie made up for both of them, hardly stopping to take a breath all morning.

“What the hell happened to you?” Isaac asks as we walk into the office.

“Bite me,” I respond and flip him the bird.

“You look like hell.” He leans back in his chair and laces his fingers behind his head, scrutinizing me with narrowed eyes.

“Back at you,” I reply and watch Bryn as she sets her bag in the bottom drawer of her desk and sits in her chair. She wore a turtle-neck top to hide the bruise on her neck, but when I look at her, they’re like a shining beacon, reminding me what kind of monster I am. “Matt will pick you up at two thirty, and then the two of you will go get the kids from school.”

“I work a job, Caleb,” she reminds me, her eyes wide with frustration.

“I know your boss,” I smirk and glance at Isaac. “She’ll be getting off early to go get the girls and go home with Matt.”

“Fine by me,” he shrugs and leans forward, grabbing his coffee mug.

Brynna curses us both under her breath, making us both laugh hard.

She’s f*cking adorable.

“I gotta go to work myself,” I wince when I check the time on my watch. “I’ll see you this evening.”

“Bye, dear,” Isaac calls after me, and I throw him the bird again, slamming the door behind me.

As I slide into the driver’s seat and start the car, I call up Matt’s number through the blue-tooth and dial.

He needs a heads up.

“’lo?” He mutters, his voice gravely with sleep.

“Wake up, man.”

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his voice more alert and I can hear rustling in the background as it sounds like he sits up in bed.

“There’s no emergency, I just need to give you a heads up because if Brynna doesn’t say something to you this afternoon, one of the girls probably will, and I want you to hear it from me first.”

Jesus, I’m babbling.

“You’re a moron?” Matt asks dryly.

“No, a*shole. I had a nightmare last night.” I swallow hard, remembering coming to and Brynna pinned beneath me, her eyes bulging and red, gasping for breath.

F*ck me.

“Are you okay?” He asks softly.

“I’m fine, but I hurt Brynna and scared the girls.”

“Damn,” he mutters with a sigh. “What happened?”

As I explain the events, Matt quietly listens, never interrupting me to ask questions.

“And this morning, Brynna’s acting like everything’s perfectly normal. Maddie was fine too. Josie’s not convinced. She was scared and isn’t speaking to me.” The thought of that still brings an ache the size of Montana to my chest.

“You know it’s not your fault, right?” He asks.

“Whose fault is it then, Matt?” I ask angrily and absently rub my hand over my sternum. “I’m the one who had my hand around her neck. She has f*cking bruises! If I were you I’d want to kick my ass.”

“You were dead asleep, Caleb.”

“That’s no motherf*cking excuse!” God, I’m just so angry. How could I do that to them? “How can she be so calm about it? How can she act like it’s okay?”

“Have you asked her?” Matt asks calmly.

“No,” I sigh.

“You two are so damn stupid,” Matt laughs ruefully.

“What does that mean?”

“It’s clear that she handled it so well because she’s in love with you, Caleb. You two are crazy about each other. You have been for months.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t. I don’t believe for a minute that you’re having sex with her just because she’s convenient.”

Just the thought of that makes me want to punch him in the throat.

“I didn’t say…”

“You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else, man,” he interrupts, hitting the nail square on the head.

Leave it to Matt to voice what’s going on in my head.

“And if you don’t claim her and those little girls as yours, someone else will be more than happy to.”

“F*ck you,” I mutter without any real feeling behind it. He’s right.

“Nah, you’re not my type,” he responds. “Thanks for the heads up, man. I’m gonna catch a few more hours sleep before I have to get Brynna and the girls.”

“Okay. Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

I hang up and turn down the windy road that leads to the training compound that I now work out of.

The only good thing about getting out of the Navy is now being self-employed. I choose my hours with Redwire, the independent civilian company that works with the military in war-zones. I’ve been training their newbies in weaponry and marksmanship for a few months. They know that I’m one of the best in the field, which is why I make way more money now than I ever did as a SEAL.

Men and women in the military are pitifully underpaid.

Another bonus of this particular job is working with men who were either on my SEAL team, or were experts in other branches of the military.

Only the best of the best work here.

The training compound is twenty minutes south of Seattle in a remote area, away from businesses and residential homes. I park my car and walk into the main building to check my mail and check in with the owner.

“What’s up, Mongtomery?” Jim Peterson nods from his office. He and I were on SEAL team five together ten years ago. He’s a scary man when he wants to be, and knows his shit.

“Hey, man,” I respond and shake his hand. “Sorry to leave you short handed.”

He shrugs. “It’s fine. Markinson is taking the classes on the days you’re out. He’s not as good as you, but we’re muddling through.”

“Thanks.”

He nods once and points to the chair in front of his desk. “Have a seat.”

“Why do I feel like I’m being called the principal’s office?” I smirk as I sit in the chair and cross one ankle over the opposite knee.

“How are things?” He asks, his face serious.

“Fine.”

“Bullshit,” he counters.

I sigh deeply and scrub my hands over my face. “Do I look that bad?”

“Worse,” he responds with a laugh. “I haven’t seen you look this shitty since Columbia.” His smile fades as we stare at each other, remembering the particularly dangerous mission in Columbia almost a decade ago, when we were supposed to rescue three American women who were being held hostage by the Columbian drug cartel.

The mission was FUBAR before we ever set boots on Columbian soil.

“Nightmares,” I sigh and shrug and Peterson nods in understanding.

“There are people to talk to about that, you know.”

I shrug and exhale. “I’m okay. I’ve been doing better. Last night was just rough.”

He stares at me for along moment. “Okay. Have you talked to Kramer lately?” He asks, mercifully changing the subject. Kramer is another former teammate who also lives in the area and trains military working dogs for SEALs now.

“Not in a while. What’s up?” I ask.

“He has to leave town for about a month for an assignment. He needs to find a place for Bix while he’s gone.”

“How is Bix?” I ask and grin as I think of the dog. Loyal, fearless and one of the best sailors I’ve had the pleasure of working with.

“He’s good. He’s not deployable.” Peterson grimaces and shakes his head. “But he’s good. Do you think you could take him for a few weeks?”

“I’ll see what I can do. I’d better get out to the guys.” I stand and shake his hand. “Thanks, sir.”

“You’re welcome, Sergeant.”

***

~Brynna~

“Show me,” Matt commands from behind the steering wheel as I settle in the passenger seat.

“Show you what?” I ask.

He cocks an eyebrow and watches me with those amazing Montgomery blue eyes, hands laced and resting in his lap.

“I won’t ask again,” he murmurs calmly and never breaks eye contact with me.

It’s unnerving.

I cast my eyes down and pull my red turtle-neck away from my throat, showing him the bruise and then quickly replace it and pull my seatbelt on.

“How did you know?” I ask, not meeting his gaze.

He starts the car, throws it into gear, and zooms out of the parking lot with more force than I expect, given his calm demeanor.

“Caleb called me,” he responds quietly and glances over at me. “Talk to me.”

“I’m fine.”

“Talk to me.”

His voice is firm, not to be reckoned with. I sigh in defeat and sag in the seat, dropping my face in my hands.

“It was horrible,” I whisper. “Scared me.”

He rests his hand on my thigh and squeezes reassuringly. “Has he had nightmares with you before?”

“Never,” I reply immediately, shaking my head adamantly. “He sleeps hard. Soundly.”

“Really?” Matt asks, looking at me in surprise. “He hasn’t slept well in a long time.”

“He hasn’t had an issue with me,” I reply. “Until last night. But it was… different.”

“Different how?” He asks.

“He had fallen asleep on the couch, watching war shows on the History Channel. When I woke up, I heard gunfire and cannons and Caleb was in the middle of the nightmare.”

“So it didn’t come on while he was in bed with you.” He shifts his Jeep down as we turn onto the street where the girls go to school.

“No, he was on the couch.”

“Interesting.” I turn and watch Matt silently. He’s in a white button-down and jeans, his pistol is resting in a holster on his hip. His light brown hair is in need of a haircut, and he didn’t shave today, leaving a light stubble on his chin.

His left elbow is resting on the door and he’s rubbing his fingers over his lips.

“How did you wake him up?” He asks.

“I kneed him in the thigh,” I respond. He winces and chuckles ruefully.

“That’ll do it.” He grins over at me and then sobers. “How do you feel today?” He asks softly.

“My voice was a bit hoarse this morning, but other than that, I feel fine.”

“Don’t be obtuse, Bryn. How do you feel?”

He’s just not going to cut me a break.

“Exhausted. Relieved.” I swallow and stare down at my knees. “So in love with him I can’t see straight,” I whisper.

“Look at me.”

My eyes find his as he offers me a gentle smile. “I think you’ll be really good for each other. Give it time.”

I nod just as the girls come running to the car.

“Hi mom!” Josie calls and scoots in to buckle her seatbelt.

“Hi Matt,” Maddie grins as she joins her sister.

“Hi guys,” I smile back at them as Matt pulls away from the school and heads toward home.

“How was your day?” Matt asks.

“Caleb hurt Mommy last night,” Josie responds. I gasp and stare back at her with my jaw dropped.

“He did?” Matt asks and shakes his head slightly at me, telling me to not respond and let him handle it.

Just kill me now.

“Yeah, he wouldn’t let her up off the floor,” Josie responds.

“He didn’t mean to!” Maddie jumps in to defend Caleb. “It was a bad dream.”

Josie shakes her head stubbornly. “He hurt her.”

“Do you think he did it on purpose?” Matt asks her calmly.

Josie shrugs and folds her arms over her chest stubbornly.

“Answer my question, please.” Matt’s voice is authoritative and strong.

Typical cop.

“I don’t know,” she replies with a frown. “It was scary.”

“I’m sure it was, sweetheart,” Matt murmurs. “Do you know what nightmares are, Josie?”

“Bad dreams?”

“Yes, they’re really bad dreams.” He affirms.

“Remember not very long ago when you came crying into my room because you had a dream that you couldn’t find me, sweetie?” I ask her and watch her big brown eyes fill with tears.

“Yeah, I was really sad,” she sniffs.

“Caleb was having a really bad dream like that, honey, except he thought he was in danger. He thought someone was trying to hurt him.” Matt watches Josie in the rearview mirror closely.

“Who was trying to hurt him?”

“Bad people,” Matt replies. “He used to have to go to places that had bad people in them who wanted to hurt him and his friends, so he could help people who needed him.”

“So, that’s what he was dreaming about?” Josie asks with wide, tear-filled eyes.

“Yes, honey,” I reply and rub her leg with my palm.

“Oh,” she whispers and looks down. “But I was scared that he was hurting you.”

“Me too,” Maddie admits. “But he was scared too.”

“Damn,” Matt whispers under his breath and shakes his head. “I’m so sorry you all had to see that.”

“You wouldn’t hug him today,” Maddie accuses Josie.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I interrupt before a fight blows out of hand. “You can give him a hug tonight if you want.”

Josie just nods and looks down at her hands as Matt pulls into our driveway.

“Looks like I don’t need to stay long,” he murmurs, eyes trained on Caleb just about to climb out of his own car. “He’s home early.”

“Yeah, he is. I wasn’t expecting him home for another hour, at least.”

Matt parks behind him and the girls climb out of the car with their backpacks. Caleb looks over at us hesitantly, and then opens the back door of the car and whistles.

A big, beautiful dog bounds out of the car, much to the delight of my daughters who begin jumping up and down and clapping their hands, wide smiles across their faces.

“And, that’s my cue to leave.” Matt smiles over at me, nods at Caleb, and leaves us all standing in the driveway.

“Sit,” Caleb commands softly and the dog immediately sits at Caleb’s side, not moving, looking up at him for his next command.

“Who is this?” I ask with one eyebrow raised.

“This is Sergeant Bix.” Bix’s tail wags once at the sound of his name. “He’s a retired Navy SEAL and he needs a home for a few weeks while his handler is out on assignment.”

“Can we pet him?” Maddie asks, her and Josie’s bodies vibrating in anticipation. Bix glances longingly at my little girls and then back up at Caleb, waiting to be told what to do. “Please?”

“Sure,” Caleb smiles. “Go ahead,” he tells Bix, who happily jogs to the girls and they all collapse in a pile of elation, the girls rubbing him and talking to him as though they’ve known him for years.

“What happened to his eye?” Josie asks as she kisses his cheek. One of his eyes is permanently shut, like he’s always winking, and the ear on the same side is slightly deformed.

Caleb looks up at me with serious eyes. “Bix was a dog that sniffed around for things that might blow up.” He swallows and turns his gaze back to the dog. “He got injured while he was working and lost his eye and hurt his ear too, so he can’t work anymore.”

“Oh, poor Bix!” Maddie throws her arms around the dog and hugs him tightly. “Can he stay here, Mom?”

“This is sabotage,” I hiss at Caleb. “You can’t ask me if the most noble and adorable dog in the world can stay with us when my girls are already in love with him.”

“What kind of dog is he?” Josie asks and giggles as Bix gives her doggie kisses on her cheek.

“He’s a Belgian Shepherd. He’s been trained to be a working dog since he was three days old.”

“Wow!” Josie exclaims.

Caleb walks closer to me and drapes his arm across my shoulders.

“Taking on the responsibility of a dog is a lot right now, Caleb.”

“He’s the best trained dog you’ll ever meet, Legs. He’s fearless, obedient and one hundred percent professional.”

I glance over and bust out laughing to find Bix flat on his back, paws in the air, tongue hanging out of his smiling mouth and relishing in a good belly rub from two eager six-year-olds.

“Yes, I can see that he’s perfectly professional.”

“He has to stay, Mom,” Josie calls out. “He’s a hero, like Caleb!”

Caleb looks shell-shocked as he turns me to face him. “He’s an amazing dog, Bryn, and a helluva team member. It would make me feel better knowing he’s here. Nothing will get to them with Bix watching.”

“Sabotage,” I whisper and grudgingly smile at the girls as they giggle and roll on the driveway with the big, fluffy canine. “I guess he can stay.”

“Thank you, Mom!” Maddie calls out.

“Come,” Caleb commands and Bix immediately jumps up and leaves the girls behind to stand next to Caleb. “Say hello to Brynna.”

He barks once and smiles at me, that tongue flopping out again.

“Hello,” I murmur and pat his head and then give in and squat next to him and rub his face. “You’re a sweet boy, aren’t you?”

***

“But we aren’t tired,” Maddie protests as she yawns widely. Caleb throws a large dog bed on the floor between the girls’ beds and points to it. Bix immediately lays on the bed, watching us with one raised ear and both his eyebrows moving up and down as he looks side to side at each of the girls.

“Why can’t he sleep with us?” Josie asks and stares longingly at her new best friend.

“He sleeps on his own bed,” Caleb replies and sits at her side. “Hey, jellybean, I’m sorry you’re mad at me today. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.” I sit at Maddie’s bedside and watch my daughter’s internal struggle as Caleb watches her closely.

“Mom always says sweet dreams when it’s time for bed,” she tells Caleb softly. Bix lets out a long sigh as he lowers his head to his paws and Josie watches him with a smile. “I hope you have sweet dreams, Caleb, and no more scary ones.”

I bite my lip and hug Maddie tightly, as Caleb silently holds his hands out to Josie. She climbs readily into his lap and hugs him, then scampers off to snuggle down into the covers.

“Good night, Mama,” Maddie whispers.

“Good night, baby girl.”

Bix raises his head and watches Caleb move to the doorway. He stops and looks back at Bix. “Stay, Bix. Stay with the girls.”

With that, Bix lowers his head again and Caleb turns out the light, leaving only the light from the princess nightlight in the wall, and shuts the door behind us.

“I can’t believe you talked me into a dog,” I chuckle and lead the way down the stairs to the living room.

“He’s already proven that he’s well trained,” he responds with a grin, referring to the numerous times he pressed his nose to the sliding glass door, asking to be let out.

“Thank goodness,” I agree and lower myself to the couch. Caleb sits beside me, but keeps at least two feet between us. “Oh, you wanna rub my feet? Here you go.” I lay my feet in his lap and grin at him.

“I don’t recall offering to do that,” he mutters with a half smile, already digging his thumb into the arch of my foot, earning a moan of appreciation.

“Oh sweet Moses that feels good.”

The heel of my foot is resting against his crotch and I feel his cock stir.

“Don’t start,” he warns.

“Why not?” I ask and rub the ridge in his pants with my foot.

“I’m not ready, Legs.” He clenches my foot in his hand and then returns to rubbing it again.

“Uh, Caleb, we’ve been having sex for a few weeks now.” I frown over at him and am shocked to see color spread up this cheeks. He stops rubbing my foot and turns his blue gaze to mine, his eyes ice blue and angry as hell.