Chapter 13
Ryder
“We need to be cool, Sax, we can’t let the band pay for this drama between us,” I tell Sax.
“Yeah? Easy for you, you get the girl,“ he says to himself, grabbing his helmet.
I ignore his comment. “Are we gonna be okay?” I ask frankly.
“I don’t know, Ryder,” is his infuriating reply. “I can’t stand to watch you with the girl I love, and I’m sorry, but I can’t pretend that I’m going to be okay with that shit.”
“So what? You want me to break up with Lexi for you? For the band?” I ask him, my fists clenching with the thought. I don’t think I could ever give up Lexi. I won't give up Lexi.
“The fact that you even ask that makes me know that you don’t deserve her. I would give up this band in a minute for Lexi,” he says as he puts his helmet on. And as he rides off, I feel like punching something. Preferably Saxon’s head.
*****
Lexi
Ryder comes back inside and sits next to me. I made a decision while he was outside. The hardest, most selfless decision I have ever made.
I realized that I was going to have to give up Ryder.
I was coming between him and his dream, and I couldn’t let that happen. Ryder would resent me if he was stuck here with me working a nine to five, while his band made it big. I'd never hold him back like that. Sax made it clear he wasn’t going to be okay with Ryder and me being together, and I really have no other options. And when Ryder starts touring, who knows how our relationship would fair? He could find someone else, and I would be lonely and wondering what he was up to.
“I think we should break up, Ryder,” I blurt out, setting my shoulders.
“What? Because of Saxon?” he asks in a rough tone.
“Yes, he's a part of it, but it’s just not gonna work out. Okay?” I tell him bluntly. Ryder stares at me in silence for a few moments before nodding with realization.
“You’re not gonna fight for us. You’re just gonna take the easy way out. Let me tell you something, Lexi, anything worth having you need to fight for. Nothing this amazing comes without a fight. And I was going to fight for you, for us, until the very end. But I can’t do that if you aren’t willing to do the same.”
Saying that that, he gets up and leaves.
I burst into tears.
*****
A week later, I know I've made a huge mistake. I want to fight. I’m ready and willing. Over the past few days I've been miserable. Nothing Tee tried to do could cheer me up, and I can tell she's starting to worry. I've tried to call Ryder a few times, but he didn’t answer; he's obviously still mad at me. The only way I'm going to be able to talk to him is to go and see him.
I run up the stairs to Ryder’s apartment, eager to see him, but slow down when I hear voices coming from his front door.
“I think we should give this a go, Ryder, don’t you?” a woman’s voice purrs. The hairs on the nape of my neck stand on end. I listen intently, and I hear Ryder sigh. I can just imagine him rubbing the back of his neck with those long slender fingers of his. Musician’s hands. My heart breaks as I realize he's actually considering this. He possibly wants to be with this woman. What was I to him?
*****