CHAPTER TWENTY
The text from Ev came at quarter to eleven. I’d been wide awake, staring at the ceiling because staring at the walls had gotten old. He hadn’t come back to the hotel. I’d been waiting for over half an hour.
Ev: Lauren gave me your number. The guys talked things out with Mal then he took off again. They don’t know where to.
Anne: Ok
Ev: Do you know where he might be?
Anne: If I find him I’ll let you know
Ev: Thanks
He might have been driving around town. But far more likely, if he was still worked up, he’d want to take it out on his drum kit.
I took a cab. Money might be tight, but I wouldn’t be waiting for him to come to me any longer. Hopefully David and co. had talked him down, calmed him. Now it was time to play my part, whatever that might be. I sat in the backseat, trying to think up speeches. All in all, I was out of wise words.
A hazy drizzle began to fall from the sky as I arrived at the practice hall. My breath misted in the cold. Ah, Portland. It never disappointed. Best weather ever. Mal’s Jeep sat parked next to the building. Thank god, he was here.
The frenetic beat of drums hammered through the building’s walls, shaking it to its foundation. A few brave bugs circled the dim light above the metal door. He’d left the door unlocked, thankfully. I stepped inside, bracing myself for the noise. Up on the stage, Mal, sitting in a pool of light, was creating an almighty storm of noise.
Closer to him, broken drum sticks littered the area. Mal had snapped an impressive amount in such a short time.
I climbed up onto the stage, making my way around to him. He sat, poised at the drum kit with eyes closed, hands moving so fast they were almost a blur. Sweat shone, already covering his upper body. Blond hair stuck to the sides of his face. A quarter-empty bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label sat beside him on the floor. The lines of his muscles and the angles of his cheekbones were stark beneath the harsh lighting.
He seemed lost in his own world, totally unaware. I hesitated for a moment then sank down, sitting cross-legged. I covered my ears but it made little difference to the deafening thunder of the drums. No matter. The clash of the cymbals cut through me. The heavy thud of the bass hit my heart. He played on and on, moving between rhythms but never slowing down. Not even to drink. He’d pick up the bottle and just hold it, one-handed, his other hand and both feet never missing a beat.
After the second slug of scotch, though, he didn’t get the bottle all the way to the floor before letting go. It tipped over, liquid pouring out. I slid over and set it upright, replacing it in its spot beside him. For the first time he seemed to register my presence, tilting his chin in greeting or appreciation or I don’t know what. Maybe I just imagined it. Then he was back to the music, powering on.
I pulled out my phone then hesitated. Ev had pissed me off, holding me up, but these people were also his family. They deserved to know he was still in one piece.
Anne: He’s at the practice hall
Ev: Thank you
David Ferris strode in not fifteen minutes later. He nodded to me, then picked up a guitar and plugged it in. As the first strains of noise rang out Mal opened one eye and saw David standing opposite him. Nothing was said. Time moved by, both sluggish and swift at once. The two of them played for hours. I fell into some sort of daze. It took me a moment to realize when they finally stopped.
“Hey,” he croaked, the words muted as if we were underwater. The noise might have broken my ears.
“Hi.”
He put the almost empty bottle of scotch to his lips and tossed some back. His gaze stayed on me. Carefully, he screwed the lid back on. It took him a couple of tries. “I’m a little bit f*cked-up, pumpkin.”
“That’s okay. I’ll help get you back to the hotel.”
He nodded, sniffed his armpits. “And I stink.”
“I’ll help you shower too.” I walked over and knelt between his legs. “Not a problem.”
His hands curved over my cheeks, molding my face. Slowly, he pressed his lips to mine. “Mm, I feel something for you, Anne. Which is pretty f*cking impressive given how numb I am right now.”
“It’s huge,” I agreed.
“I’m not normally like this … drinking this much. Want you to know that. It’s just …” A muscle spasmed in his jaw and he stared off into the distance.
“I know, Mal. It’s okay.”
No response.
“We’ll get through this.”
“Anne–” In a flurry of motion, he fell back off the stool. I grabbed at his jeans, trying to keep him upright. Not the best idea. One of Mal’s big-ass Chucks bumped the side of my head, which hurt. His other foot upset the cymbal stands and they clattered to the floor.
“Shit.” Footsteps rushed closer.
Mal lay on his back, laughing.
I sat back on my heels, rubbing at the tender spot on my skull. What a night.
“You alright?” asked David, crouching beside me.
“Fine!” called Mal, still laughing like a loon.
“Not talking to you, asswipe. You kicked Anne.”
“What?” Mal rolled over, grabbed the stool, and threw it out of the way. He rushed to my side, pushing David away. “Pumpkin, you okay?”
“Yes, you only clipped me. No damage done.”
“F*ck. Oh, shit, Anne.” His arms went around me, hugging me so tight he nearly throttled me. “I’m so sorry. We have to get her to a hospital and get a brains can. Brain scan. F*ck, one of those.”
“I don’t need a hospital or a scan. It’s just a bump.”
“You sure?” asked David, checking out my eyes.
“Yes,” I said. “It was an accident, Mal. Calm down.”
“I’m the worst boyfriend ever.”
“I sure as hell wouldn’t date you,” said David.
“F*ck off, Davie.”
“Parties over. Time for everyone to go home.” David wrestled him off of me and onto his feet.
Mal seemed perplexed to find himself there. He just sort of stood and swayed, frowning down at me. “You okay?”
“Yep.”
“I’m really f*cking sorry, pumpkin. Wanna kick me in the head? Will that make you feel better?”
“Um, no. But thanks.”
David got Mal’s arm over his shoulders, dragging or carrying Mal toward the short set of stairs leading down off the stage. It was hard to tell which.
“Wait, where’s his shirt? He’ll freeze out there. ”
“Serve him f*cking right.”
“Shut up, Ferris. You’re a whiny little bitch.”
“Yeah, and you’re loaded.”
I rushed ahead and held the door open for them. Mal stumbled and they almost fell. But David got them moving forward again instead of face-planting. Just. “I’m fine, man,” Mal said, pushing away from him to teeter precariously on his own. I grabbed his hand to support him and he pulled me in under his shoulder, steadying himself. “See, it’s all good.”
David just nodded, staying close.
“Gave my Ludwig kit a workout tonight. Broke a lot of drum sticks too.” Mal threw his other arm around me, holding me close. He really did need a wash. “American hickory. Zildjian. Made to take a beating but I must have broken eight, maybe ten. Happens in concert often but you don’t hear it. I just pick up the next one, keep going, never miss a beat. That’s how we roll. Shit gets broken, no matter, play on.”
He sighed, shifting his weight against me. I moved my feet farther apart, keeping my arms tight around his middle. The man was not light.
“I’m missing a beat, Anne. I can feel it. Shit ain’t right.”
I looked up into his beautiful face. My heart breaking for him. “I know. But it’s okay. We’ve got you.”
He just frowned down at me.
“I’ve got you,” I said.
“You sure?”
“Very.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay. Thanks, pumpkin.”
“Let’s get you back to the hotel room.”
The rain had stopped, thankfully. David stepped in again, helping Mal over to the Jeep, leaning him up against it. One of the shiny black Escalades was parked nearby.
“Man, where’s your keys?” asked David, digging through Mal’s jeans pockets.
“Geez, Davie. I was saving that especially for Anne.”
“I’m not interested in your dick. Where’s the key’s to your car?”
“Don’t get me wrong, man. I love you, just not in that way.”
“Uh, got ’em.” David dangled the keys from a finger. “Anne, you good to drive him? I’ll follow you back, help you get him up to your room.”
“Sounds good. Thanks.”
“Awesome,” Mal mumbled. He let his head fall back and closed his eyes. His mouth, on the other hand, he opened wide. “I LOVE YOU, ANNE!”
I jumped, somewhat startled by the noise. “Holy shit.”
“I LOVE YOU.”
David just looked at me with one eyebrow raised.
“Huh. He is really drunk,” I said, and David half-smiled. Best just to ignore my mini heart attack over Mal saying those words.
“I F*ckING LOVE YOU, ANNE.”
“Yeah, okay. Shut up now.” David tried to slap a hand over Mal’s mouth.
“AAAAAAANNNNNE!” My name was a long, drawn-out howling kind of noise, muffled at the last when David managed to cover his mouth. Muted grunts and snarling came next.
“God damn it,” swore David. “He just f*cking bit me.”
“My love shall not be silenced!”
I did my best not to laugh. “Mal? I’ve got a headache from you accidentally kicking me in the head. Do you mind being quiet?”
“Oh, shit, f*ck, okay. Sorry, pumpkin. So sorry.” He stared up at the sky. “Look, Anne, stars and shit. It’s beautiful, right?”
I looked up and sure enough the clouds had parted, allowing a couple of brave stars to shine through. “Right. Let’s go back to the hotel now.”
“Mm, yeah, let’s go. I have something in my pants I want to show you.” His clumsy fingers started in on the waist of his jeans. “Look, it’s real important.”
I grabbed his fingers, squeezed them tight. “That’s great. Show me back at our hotel room, okay?”
“Okay.” Mal happy sighed. The air around him consisted solidly of scotch fumes.
“Thanks for texting Ev.” David pulled open the passenger side door, grabbed Mal’s arm, and proceeded to shove him into the car. “You think tonight was fun, wait till we go on tour. Then things’ll get interesting. First time ever there’s been girlfriends or wives along.”
“The way you say that … should I be afraid?”
Mal hammered on the passenger side window. “Anne, my pants itch. I think I’m allergic to them. Come help me take ’em off.”
We both ignored him.
David scratched his head. “Think it’ll be a learning curve for all of us, yeah?”
“Yeah.” The future was a big, ripe ball of I had no damn clue what would happen. And for once, that was okay.