The grass beneath my paws was still dead and faded, but it would soon be glorious green. I could feel the earth beneath my feet, the way it hummed with life and vitality despite what took place on its surface. It was immense in its power, a giant web of energy that connected us all together. It was beautiful.
I’d been spending more time in the forest recently. I’d missed it. It wasn’t easy having so many sides to me. Human, wolf … vampire. Sometimes I felt like I lost the true me in the mess of the rest. Where did I, Alexa, fit into those labels? I wasn’t sure anymore.
My runs in the forest had been solo more often than not lately. I was desperate to hear myself think, to feel my limbs move and to be caught up in the whirlwind sensation of being part of nature. There was something about being alone there that made me feel… real.
The sun hadn’t been down long. The sound of birds singing hadn’t yet faded, and I trotted along in bliss. Like so many times before, I was tempted never to leave, to stay amidst the forest forever. If only.
I glanced up at the darkening sky, watching as the last hint of day slipped away. I was struck with sudden fear that the day would come when I would never lay eyes on the sun again. I was nocturnal by nature but to have it taken away from me, completely forbidden, I couldn’t bear the thought of that.
I felt the eyes that watched me before I saw the black wolf in the distance. My first thought was Zoey but no, that wasn’t possible. She was at Kylarai’s, in human form, the form she would probably remain in for the rest of her life. Besides, the eyes that followed me were not crystalline blue but a deep coal black.
My heart increased to a dangerous tempo. I froze in my tracks, unable to tear my gaze away from the black wolf. It couldn’t be. It was impossible, but I’d know Raoul anywhere. No doubt in my mind, I was staring into the eyes of my Alpha, my first true love.
How? The one word echoed inside my head. This couldn’t be. He was dead. A dream, it had to be a dream. I wanted to wake up. Will he ever go away?
As I watched, the black wolf approached me. His steps were slow but determined. I had the urge to run, but my feet were rooted to the ground, so I waited pensively.
As he drew closer, the shape of the wolf wavered and began to fade until mist took its place. When the mist cleared, Raoul stood naked before me with a perfectly neutral expression on his rugged face. He knelt in front of me and took my face in his hands.
When he brought his lips to mine, I realized I was no longer in wolf form.
He kissed me tenderly, the softest touch. His hands on my face were warm and alive.
My eyes filled with hot tears that didn’t fall. I expected to feel many things like fear and confusion. Instead, I just felt solemn.
I was afraid to touch him. As real as he felt, I knew he wasn’t, and I feared my hands would go right through him and cause the illusion to fall to pieces. Raoul’s musky wolf scent filled me, teasing my beast. An ache deep inside reminded me that I missed him, desperately.
He pulled back and peered into my eyes as if searching for my soul. Several questions danced on the tip of my tongue, but I was unable to give voice to them. I could only sit there while he pushed my hair back from my face in a gentle gesture.
“Alexa.” His voice was strong and smooth, and I felt like I’d heard it just yesterday rather than so many long months ago. “You know who you are. Never forget it.”
A few unshed tears did spill down my cheeks then, crystal clear, not the bloody vampire tears I’d grown accustomed to. I shook my head as I tried to comprehend what he was saying. I attempted again to speak, and this time I managed to squeak out a small,
“I don’t understand.”
“You will,” he whispered. “And please, be careful.”
Raoul pressed another kiss to my lips, quick but affectionate, then another to my forehead. I forced myself to move, reaching for him. I slowly slid my fingers through his hair, reveling in the silken texture of it. I moved down his face to his shoulders, astonished at how realistic this dream was. It was as if he were really there with me.
I wanted him to tell me more. I was happy just to be there with him in the moment, whether it was genuine or not. He gently pulled away without saying another word. I watched him turn away, fading from sight until all that remained was the outline of a black wolf disappearing with the mist.
My heart broke, and I hugged myself, shivering in the cool night air. I replayed his words in my mind, curious and a little afraid. Sure, I’d dreamt about Raoul since his death. Yet, it hadn’t been anything like this.
The mist grew until a white fog surrounded me. I could no longer see Raoul. I couldn’t see anything. I blinked a few times as if it would clear my vision. The next thing I knew, I was waking up, curled in the fetal position shivering. I knew it had been a dream, though I hadn’t felt like I was asleep. Just a damn stupid dream.