I sipped the perfectly brewed coffee and stared out the window. The field we ran in lay beyond the backyard. I missed living here, but I belonged in Raoul’s house. I knew that.
“Does she want to see me?” I tried unsuccessfully to banish the anxiety from my tone. “I mean, has she indicated that she’d rather not?”
Kylarai reached across the table to give my hand a warm pat. “You both have a lot in common. She knows that, too. Just take it slow, give her time, and I’m sure everything will be fine.”
Ky glanced out the window, noting the way the scenery kept drawing my gaze. “Are you ok?” She asked. “Do you want to go for a run later? I’m free all night.”
I sighed and turned back to my coffee, attempting to find strength in the creamy mocha fluid. “Thanks, Ky. I would, but I’m heading to The Wicked Kiss later. I’ll take a rain check though.”
We chatted quietly; I caught Kylarai up on the recent happenings regarding the Kiss.
She asked about Kale, and I was reminded again of why I could never tell her about the incident with him in my office. They’d never been in love, but they had loved. That was enough to keep my mouth shut.
She went on about Julian and the diamond necklace he’d gotten her in celebration of a case she’d won at work. I forced myself to smile and admire the sparkly bauble. I couldn’t help but think it was more likely that he’d bought it out of guilt. Was it even possible for that bastard to feel guilt?
A sound from down the hall drew our attention. A moment later, Zoey appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. Her black hair fell over her shoulders in damp strings that she shoved back from her face in a nervous gesture. Dressed simple in jeans and a tank top, she appeared so normal at first glance. A deeper look revealed the slight frown she wore and the haunted expression in her blue eyes.
Kylarai waved her over to where we sat. “I’m just going to run out and check the mail.” It was obvious she was trying to give us a moment alone.
After she’d disappeared outside, Zoey and I sat uncomfortably across the table from each other. I tapped my fingernails against the side of my coffee mug and took a deep breath. Zoey squirmed in her seat, making no attempt to break the silence first.
“How are you?” I managed at last. Better to start small.
She gave a slight shrug, looking everywhere but directly at me. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
The awkwardness was killing me. So, I scrapped the beating around the bush and cut to the chase. “Look, let’s just skip the weird part of this. Our first meeting was short and violent. But, it’s long over. I think we’re more alike than either of us realizes. I just want to make sure you’re ok with everything. Well, as ok as one can possibly be after six months in wolf form.”
Zoey did meet my eyes then. “I spent my whole life feeling like I didn’t belong, longing to release the animal inside me. After the past six months, I’m thankful to have a human voice again. To be me. I need to thank you for that.”
“To be honest,” I replied. “I wasn’t sure it would work. But, I’m glad it did.”
“Did you love him?” She asked the question so quickly I almost couldn’t make sense of it. “My father, I mean. Did you ever love him?”
Talk about a loaded question. How did I even begin to answer that? By telling the truth, I guess.
“I’ve loved him since I first met him. Also, I’ve hated him more than anything or anyone else walking this earth. Things between me and him … they were complicated.”
She nodded and began to play with the edge of the tablecloth, twisting it between her fingers. “Because he loved you and left you?”
My voice was soft as memories took me back to a place that was oddly both safe and painful. “Because he was everything to me and, after he got what he wanted from me, he moved on to the next pretty face. I didn’t mean anything to him.”
It hurt to say those words aloud. I could almost hear Raoul’s voice in my head, telling me I was wrong. That he had loved me. He’d said so in the note he left me. He’d also confessed to the ultimate betrayal in that same note. I didn’t want to relive the moment I’d read his confession.
“I still think you got the better deal,” Zoey said after a moment of silence. “He abandoned me after my mother died. It was his fault she was dead, and he couldn’t be bothered to take on the responsibility of raising me. He was a coward.”
I flashed back to the night Raoul had told me about Zoey. He’d been in pain when telling me about giving her up. He’d cried. After what he’d done to me, here I was tempted to defend him. It was so wrong.