I felt guilty and crude as I waited for him to say something. His disgusted look spoke volumes, and I wished I could drop into a hole and hide. Couldn’t this moment just end already?
“Clearly, you have your own issues with me, Lex.” He spoke softer than I’d been anticipating. “I suppose I should be thankful you haven’t already taken me out. Or tried to.”
Something about that last sentence. Was that a challenge? I couldn’t believe his audacity. I moved to go, and he blocked the door in one smooth motion.
“Don’t walk out on me.” His voice, now a low growl, sent a delicious shiver down my spine, and the wolf within me responded in full.
I suspected that Raoul didn’t want the sharp ears beyond the thin door to catch our exchange. Though, if Arys had caught the challenge in Raoul’s voice, he was already on alert.
“Don’t try to stop me.” I wasn’t growling yet, but instinct had blanketed me in warm Were energy. In one blink, my eyes shone with the blazing brilliance of my wolf.
I watched Raoul’s black eyes bleed to wolf, and my heart began to pound.
“I’m not going to. Alexa, you’ve had years to get the closure you need. Instead, you hold it inside and allow it to feed your bitterness and anger.” He advanced on me so that we stood just inches apart. “If you need to hash out the past, if you want to tell me exactly why you loathe me so much, then do it, but stop dragging it into every encounter we have.”
I stared into his eyes with amazement. I admired him for calling me on what, I have to admit, was the truth, but I was pissed that he allowed his voice to rise so those beyond the door might hear. I opened my mouth to speak, but he kept talking.
“I asked for your help because I know you’re a true survivor. I thought I could count on you. Despite everything, we are pack. Or at least, we were.”
His words rang in my ears, and I recalled my very similar thoughts about Belle upstairs. Shit.
I hate when Raoul’s right. I had agreed to help him, and he’d thrown me out of his house. Yet, here we were, together, pack.
“I was a young, scared girl who counted on you, and you let me down.” I was surprised as the whispered words left my lips. I was more surprised when my voice cracked. “You taught me about blood and sex, but I needed more than that.”
Unnerved by my words, I understood. Zoey had been better off wherever she’d grown up. Raoul’s life had always consisted of fulfilling his many urges and desires. She would have hated him more had she been here, if only she knew that.
His gaze softened, as if he never had a clue how bad it had been for me.
“Alexa,” he breathed my name and reached for me, but I stepped away. If he touched me, I might cry, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of my tears.
“Don’t,” I said, a growl rumbled low in my throat, barely audible. “Don’t you dare try to placate me. You didn’t care then, and I’ll be damned if you care now.”
The tears on my cheeks were warm and silent, and I didn’t recall the first one falling. I wiped them away with an angry motion, infuriated that I would cry over this. Maybe I still harbored more of that frightened teenager inside me than I realized.
I didn’t expect Raoul to challenge my withdrawal. He caught me off guard when he backed me up against the desk. I craned my neck to look up at him as the hard wooden edge dug into the back of my legs. My body reacted defensively. My fangs extended, ready for a fight. My nails dug into the wood, as they became claws.
I expected an attack, but he leaned down and buried his face in my long blonde locks. One well-muscled arm went around my lower back and pressed me to him. He nipped my neck lightly, just below my ear. It didn’t hurt. He hadn’t meant it to. I realized that he was trying to comfort me.
Both of his large, warm arms went around me. He held me with an odd intensity. He nuzzled deeper into my hair, and when the first hot drop ran down the side of my neck, I realized he, too, shed tears. Unsure of what to do, I let him hold me, even though I was vibing off his pain. I just wanted to hide my feelings. I felt too exposed.
That close to Raoul, I was damn glad to be free of Arys’s hunger. Amid the excitement of the evening, I hadn’t noted that I had been completely free of his hunger since he’d fed.
“I know that I wasn’t what you needed me to be. But, there’s just so much you don’t know. I’m sorry. It doesn’t mean anything now, but I am.”
Time seemed to stop with his small confession. My wolf was content to rest in his arms, but something deep down began to ache for Shaz. We both needed this moment, but people were waiting for us, and a dangerous hybrid was on the loose with a taste for blood and vengeance.