“You made the choice you thought was best for her. How can that be a mistake?”
“She apparently thinks so. She’s single handedly destroying the women that I’ve been involved with. I knew she was upset, but I never would have guessed she’d take it this far.”
That made me snap to attention. “What? So you’ve been in contact with her over the years?”
The look he gave me was full of scorn, and he scoffed. “I’m not a dead-beat dad, Alexa. I didn’t just dump her and run. I stayed there for two weeks with her before I felt right about leaving her. I wrote and called and went to see her up until a few years ago when she asked me not to.”
With a shrug of his massive shoulders, his short-lived defense evaporated. “She can’t forgive me for not keeping her. But, she was blossoming there, and I didn’t think to bring her here. I’m a bachelor. My lifestyle isn’t right for a young woman. Sometimes, I think she hates me for being wolf while she cannot without risking everything.”
Part of me was astounded at how completely clueless he was. I turned it over in my head. Hybrids have a much harder existence than the average Were. A hybrid is born missing a piece of the puzzle. Their half-human blood inhibits the ability to change forms. The urge to shift could never truly be fulfilled. If a hybrid did manage to change forms, they rarely shifted back. Many were trapped in wolf form forever. It made sense that a hybrid could be driven completely mad from resisting their natural urges.
“How was she doing with everything? The full moon and the wolf urges.” I moved across the room to feign interest in the bookshelf. The puzzle had come together, or I thought it had.
“Good, for the most part. Or, at least I thought she was. It wasn’t until the past five years or so that things began to change with her. I’m not going to give you the long version but you can see where it’s led to.” He gestured wildly at nothing, but I nodded just the same.
“She sees you from a distance, pouring your affections on other women. When you said you live the bachelor life, you weren’t kidding.”
“Do you have a point?”
“Yes,” I bared my teeth at him. “In her eyes, you have all of this love and attention to shower on other women, but you’ve abandoned her. Is this making some sense to you? Throw in the whole being a hybrid thing, and it’s no wonder she’s lost her marbles.”
Raoul gave me a blank look that told me my words weren’t registering completely. I chalked it up to purposeful ignorance on his part. He can be the kind of guy that will blame you for his guilt after he screws you over.
A thought suddenly occurred to me. “You said that Naomi was one of two women you loved… Who was the other?”
Raoul’s eyes narrowed in a glare and a chill stole over me. The atmosphere shifted so dramatically that I was momentarily confused.
“Why?” He asked, suspiciously.
I stared at him. His demeanor told me to be wary. “Because you said she was the first of two. I just thought that maybe the other woman may have something to do with Zoey’s mental decline.”
The heavy silence that followed made me wish I hadn’t asked. However, I wondered why it was such a touchy subject. He stared daggers into me. He blinked, took a deep breath, and ran a hand through his hair. Ultimately, he turned away with his head down.
“I really don’t want to talk about it, Lex, but believe me, those are two entirely separate times of my life. I don’t believe Zoey could have known anything about the other woman anyway.” The way that he said that spurred even more interest in this mysterious second great love of Raoul’s life.
When I refocused, another thought struck me. I’d been involved with Raoul at one point, on and off for a very long time.
“I’m sorry, Raoul, but I’ve got to warn you, if she comes after me-”
“Don’t say it!” He interrupted. “I know. I would expect you to defend yourself. But promise me, if you come across her before I do, you won’t kill her. Please.”
After years of imagining Raoul begging me for something, the reality wasn’t at all satisfying. It didn’t really feel good in any way.
“I can’t make any promises to you. If it’s me or her, I’m walking out of it alive. Hell, maybe what she really wants is someone to put her out of her misery after two decades of torture.”
Wow. When had I become so cold? The words froze on my tongue, and I briefly wondered if Arys’s attitude had rubbed off on me, another lovely parting gift from him. That was ridiculous, and I knew it. I was bitter enough to kick Raoul when he was down, but I don’t play that dirty.
“I’m sorry, Raoul. That was a nasty thing for me to say.”