“Likewise,” I said quietly.
“The same goes for the kink side of things.” He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “The other night could have been a disaster, but you realized I was in a bad place before I did. And after, you kept me from feeling like an utter failure, and you even turned something that could’ve been humiliating into an incredibly hot evening.” He brought my fingers up and kissed them again. “So when a weekend of topping me knocks you on your ass, you’d better believe I’m going to be there to help you recover. Especially if it means hanging out like this.”
I chuckled. “Well, just don’t erase Golden Girls, and we’ll be in good shape.”
Rick snorted. “Erase Golden Girls? Pfft. Please.”
Our eyes met, and we both laughed.
After a moment, his expression turned serious, and he watched his fingers trailing back and forth over mine. “To be honest, this—everything we’re doing, even right now—is exactly what I was hoping for when I put up that profile.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean downtime. Just hanging out. TV. Frozen dinner. Whatever.” He hesitated, and lifted his gaze to meet mine again. “And a Dom who not only accepts my limits but accepts his own. I’ve been with guys who try to pretend top drop isn’t a thing, and try to knuckle through even when they’re not feeling it. I don’t want someone who will still play when he’d rather not, because then it isn’t fun for either of us.”
“Like a sub who submits even when he doesn’t want to, because he thinks he has to?”
Rick nodded. “Exactly. The thing is, I’ve had Doms who are so hung up on being a Dom, and their pride is so wrapped up in it, they’re either killing themselves to be that Dom, or they’re killing me.”
“I hadn’t looked at it that way before.” I turned my hand over and slipped my fingers between his. “And I’ll cop to it—I’ve had a hard time admitting to top drop before. I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s par for the course sometimes, but damn, it is not easy to tell a submissive that I’m not in a good place.”
“I can understand that. But it’s going to happen. And neither of us is twenty anymore, so we’re not always going to be—”
“Don’t remind me,” I grumbled.
He laughed. “For what it’s worth, top drop or not, there are worse ways to spend an evening with someone than watching Golden Girls and shooting the shit.”
I held his gaze. God, he was so right. As much as I loved the leather and the toys and the begging, there was something to be said for switching all that off for an evening and just enjoying each other’s company. And I did enjoy his company. A lot. This was a side of Rick I hadn’t imagined before we’d slept together, mostly because I’d assumed we’d have nothing in common, but here we were.
He watched himself run his thumb along the back of mine. “Like I said, this is what I was hoping for when I put up my profile. I wasn’t very optimistic about it, but…” His eyes met mine again. “Here we are.”
“Yeah.” My heart thumped against my ribs. “Here we are.” I freed my hand and brought it up to his face, and then drew him in for a kiss, and the softness of his lips sent a shiver through me just like the very first time I’d kissed him.
Yeah, Jon. Here we are.
This wasn’t what I’d signed up for when I’d downloaded Leathr. It was so much more than I’d ever expected from someone I’d met for casual kink. A sub who was empathetic and caring for a Dom with top drop was one thing. I was hard-pressed to stay with a sub who wasn’t understanding about that.
But this felt like more. It was hard not to read into the tenderness of his kiss. Hard to figure out where it stopped being extra gentleness and sympathy, and where it became…more.
I touched my forehead to his. “Thank you again,” I whispered. “This is exactly what I needed tonight.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He smoothed my hair. “Doms need to be taken care of as much as subs do.”
I kissed him again, and as I drew back, I met his gaze, fully intending to tell him that wasn’t what I meant. But then I realized I didn’t know what I meant. And I damn sure didn’t know if I wanted to say it out loud, because things like that couldn’t be taken back all that easily.
And then I realized who I was talking to. Who I was holding, looking at, kissing. Before I could stop myself, I laughed. “Wow…”
“What? What’s so funny?”
“I…” I shook my head. “I guess I just forgot for a minute who I was with.”
He eyed me. “You—”
“I mean, I couldn’t forget I’m with you. Ever.” I kissed him again. “But I have to admit, sometimes I still catch myself thinking ‘holy shit, am I really fooling around with Rick Pierce?’”
He laughed. “What’s that mean, anyway?”
I kissed his fingers again and lowered our hands. “You do realize you’re supposed to be out of my league, right?”
Rick chuckled. “Bullshit. I’m just a guy, and so are you.”