Chapter Twenty: Melanie
After two more days, Dr. Leighton discharged me from the hospital. Despite everything that had happened, I was ready to leave. I wanted the little things like sleeping in my own bed or watching movies on the couch. But more than anything, I wanted to move on and truly pick up the pieces of my shattered life.
Even though I was returning home, I wasn’t going back to school—at least not for now. Dr. Leighton didn’t think it was in my best interest. She requested I have a homebound teacher at least for the month of March. Her goal was to have me return to school after Spring Break.
On my first full afternoon home, I was trying to catch up on all the school work that I had missed. I was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. After struggling to uncover myself from three textbooks and my laptop, I headed to the door. I threw it open, fully expecting it to be Will. But it wasn’t.
It was Lauren.
I almost didn’t recognize her since she was engulfed by an overflowing basket of wildflowers. Bobbing ‘Get Well Soon’ and ‘I Miss You’ balloons floated around her face. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi.”
We stood in uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. Finally, I remembered my manners. “Would you like to come inside?”
“Sure.” Peeking her head around the balloons, she stepped past me into the foyer. She hesitated, trying to anticipate where I might go. So, I led her into the den. Without an invitation for her, I plopped down on the couch.
“Um, where can I put these?” she asked.
“Oh, on the table is fine.”
Lauren nodded and put them down. Then she sat down across from me on the love seat. The same eerie silence filled the room. Then she cleared her throat. “I, um, I’m sorry I haven’t been by.”
I responded by arching my eyebrows at her.
She flushed. “I meant to come by earlier.”
“But you didn’t.”
She wrung her hands together like she always did when she was nervous. It used to drive Coach T crazy during games. Whenever we were down, Lauren would run down the court wringing her hands. He would yell, “How you gonna catch a pass with your hands like that?”
When I didn’t say anything else, Lauren stood up. “Well, I guess I better go.”
“Why?” I asked softly.
She stared at me in surprise. “Because you obviously don’t want me here.”
I shook my head. “That’s not true. I do want you here.” I drew in a deep breath. “I also wanted you at the hospital…but you never came.”
Lauren slowly eased back down, her hands folding and unfolding over each other. “I’m sorry, Melanie. It was wrong of me not to come see you.”
“Breanna and Kara came. Even half of the cheerleading squad came to rah-rah at my bedside. But not you…not my best friend.”
She stared up at me with tears in her eyes. “Jesus, Mel, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know why I couldn’t come.”
“You were afraid.”
“What?” she asked.
I nodded. “You were afraid to look at me after you knew the truth.”
“No, that’s not true!” she protested, her hands rolling faster and faster.
Deciding to put her out of her misery, I crossed the room to sit by her side. “It’s okay that you were afraid, Lauren. I would’ve been too.” In a voice almost too low for her to hear, I said, “I’m still so damn afraid.”
She shook her head miserably, letting the tears flow. “No, you wouldn’t have. You would have been right there holding my hand, telling me everything was going to be all right. But not me.”
“So I was right in what I said? That you didn’t want to see me.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I guess I understand. I mean, every time you look at me, you’re going to think about him and what he did.”
“But why? Why do I have to think that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Why do I think it every time I look in the mirror, or every time Will touches me?”
Lauren’s voice became strangled. “Why did it happen to you, Mel? Out of all of us, why you?”
That was the million dollar question I was desperate for an answer for. It was one that drove my need to seek help at Dr. Leighton’s office twice a week. But I was still clueless…except for blaming myself. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
“But it’s not fair! There you were saving yourself and waiting until you were in love, and that bastard took it all away from you!” She shot off the couch and started pacing the room. “I want to kill him, Mel! I want to kill him for what he did to you, and to Will, and to the team.”
“I know. I feel that way too. I just hope he’s going to be punished.”
“Going to jail will never be enough. He deserves to fry.”
I gave a mirthless laugh. “Don’t you think it’s kinda funny that I’m sitting here all calm while you’re going ballistic?”
Lauren snorted. “Actually, I’m starting to think they must’ve given you a doggy bag of drugs at the hospital!”
My laughter slowly faded, and Lauren widened her eyes in horror. “Oh, Mel, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have joked about that. Of course, you’re on medicine. Who the hell wouldn’t be in your condition!”
I sighed in exasperation. “I’m not in a ‘condition’, Lauren. Stop acting like I’m freakin’ fragile, and I’m going to fall apart any minute.”
She held up her hands. “Okay, I’m sorry.”
“And yes, I’m on anti-depressants. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I need them right now to try to keep unraveling.”
“I’m glad they’re helping,” Lauren said.
We sat in an awkward silence for a minute or so before Lauren drew in a ragged breath. “I really am sorry, Mel. This is new territory for me. I’ve read about…rape, and I’ve seen it in movies and on TV. But when it came down to it, I didn’t know how to handle the fact if it happened to you. I was such an asshat for not coming to the hospital. Most of all, I’m sorry that I keep saying all the wrong things and being stupid. Regardless of everything, you’re my best friend, and I love you.”
I smiled. “You’re not an asshat. And I understand. This is all new to me, too.” When Lauren began wringing her hands again, I asked, “What it is?”
“Why did you lie?”
My brows knitted together in confusion. “What?”
Lauren stared down at her hands. “I mean, why did you lie about what happened? With Jordan’s claim, it seemed like it would have been so much easier for you to just admit what happened.” She raised her head to meet my gaze. “Was it for Will?”
“I thought so at first. Now I think it was more to save me from all the pain and embarrassment. I’m still trying to figure all that out.”
“So, they have you going to therapy?”
“Yep. Twice a week—sometimes Mom and Dad come too.”
Lauren let out a low whistle. “Wow, that’s intense.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression. “Yeah, it’s pretty intense. But I like my therapist. She’s young and hip. And she’s been through something similar.”
“Um, that’s cool.”
“Yeah, it is.”
I could tell there was something else she wanted to ask. “What is it?”
She played with the edge of her skirt before she replied. “What about you and Will? I mean, are you guys okay?”
“We’re fine,” I answered a little too quickly.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. He came to visit me in the hospital. We had a long talk about everything, and we’re good.” I decided it wasn’t my place to tell Lauren about Will’s vow to attend therapy or the fact that he and I were going to see Dr. Leighton together. It seemed a little premature to be in couple’s therapy when we weren’t even married, but I guess in some ways we were. I knew there would never be anyone else for me, and I was pretty sure Will felt the same way.
Before I could say anything else, Lauren reached over and hugged me. She held on to me for several long seconds.
“Hey now,” I began, “what’s up with all the mushy stuff? You hate hugging and PDA.”
“True, very true,” she replied, as she pulled away.
I cocked my eyebrow at hers and smiled. “Well, PDA with girls you hate…but JT, now that’s another story!”
Lauren laughed. “Yep, once again, you know me too well.”
“We’ve been best friends for too long, I guess.”
“Yeah, we have.” Her phone vibrated in her pocket. One glance and she smiled. “Speak of the devil,” she murmured.
“You’re being summoned, right?”
She nodded. “Listen Melanie, the team and I were all talking, and we sure hope you’ll come to the banquet in two weeks.”
A pain jabbed my heart at the mention of the annual end of season banquet. I’d completely forgotten about it. It was one thing to miss Senior Night, but I’d never missed a banquet in my life. Usually, I came home with my arms laden with trophies and plaques.
But this year would be different. There would be no Coach T keeping the parents in stitches with his remarks about the season. He wouldn’t beam with pride as he called my name out to once again give me the MVP award. If I won this year, I would go down in the Newton Hall of Fame for being the only four time MVP winner in Girls Basketball. The bitter side of me choked back the thought that maybe he’d rigged it all these years. Maybe I wasn’t the Most Valuable Player—instead I was the Most Valuable Piece of Ass.
Besides those thoughts, it would also be the first time I was put on display in front of everyone for something besides my ability. I wouldn’t be the MVP—I’d be the girl Coach T raped. When I walked across the stage to the podium, every eye would be on me while every mind would be dreaming up their own ideas of how it had all gone down. Just the thought of it made me nauseous.
I shook my head and fought my gag reflex. “I don’t know, Lauren. I’ll have to check with Dr. Leighton.”
“Okay, I understand. I just know we’d all like to see you there.”
“Then maybe I’ll be there.”
Lauren smiled. “Sounds good.”
I walked her to the door. “Thanks for the balloons and flowers. But most of all, thanks for coming by.”
Without a word, Lauren put her arms around me. We stood like that—arms tightly around each other—for several seconds. “I love you, Mel.”
“I love you, too.”
I stood at the door and watched her bound down the stairs. She gave a final wave before pulling out of the driveway.