My Skylar

Chapter 8
MITCH
It had been a couple of weeks since the kiss at the fairgrounds—the kiss that changed everything. It was proof that I couldn’t trust myself with her anymore. All of the reserve I had worked hard to build up was shattered, and it felt like I had to start all over again now.
That meant avoiding being alone with her at all costs, at least for a while. I had Davey come over on the days Skylar and I did homework together. I had to tell him what happened that night, and in typical Davey fashion, he busted my balls about it.
During Spanish homework one afternoon, the dickhead asked Skylar and me if we knew what beso meant. When she nonchalantly answered that it was the word for kiss, I wanted to throw my textbook at his head.
She was doing a good job of acting like nothing had changed between us, though, which made it easier but also bothered me a little because for me, it was an internal struggle.
I could try and act like nothing had changed in front of her during the day, but without fail, every night, that kiss replayed in my head. My mouth would water remembering how she tasted or the noises that she made when I kissed her neck. I wanted so badly to experience it again or even worse, to know what noises she’d make with me inside of her.
I had kissed a lot of girls, but it had never felt like that. Then again, I never actually had feelings for any of them. Seeing Skylar with Aidan had triggered a primal reaction and made me realize how deep those feelings actually ran. It was an insoluble problem: keep away from Skylar and keep her away from other guys at the same time.
So, when you can’t figure out how to handle something stressful, create a distraction. That was my new motto.
Skylar and her mother would be over for dinner any minute, and I had a surprise for her, one I hoped would help ease the tension between us.
Even though it was a Friday night, I had no other plans. When the doorbell rang, my heart started to beat faster.
Cut the shit. It’s just Skylar.
The smell of my mother’s eggplant lasagna wafted through the house as I made my way downstairs. The cold, fall air blasted through the door when my mother opened it.
I stood awkwardly with my hands in my pockets, trying to look nonchalant, like I hadn’t just been fantasizing about her. “Hey Tish…Skylar,” I said.
Skylar took off her black puffer jacket. I was grateful that she had changed out of her sexy school uniform into some sweats.
“Hey,” Skylar said before walking over to the living room where she looked through my mother’s magazines with her legs crossed on the sofa. I loved how comfortable she was here.
“Mitch, your mother told me about all of the A’s you’ve been getting lately,” Tish said.
“Yeah, well, gotta focus my energy on something. Might as well be school.”
“Well, keep up the good work.”
“Thanks.”
That was another thing. I’d been diving head first into my schoolwork in an attempt to transfer my focus onto something other than what happened with Skylar. Apparently, it was paying off.
She was being uncharacteristically quiet tonight and hadn’t said anything since they walked in the door. As we sat down to eat, my mother broke the silence.
“So, what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Well, Oliver wants Skylar to spend it with him and his beautiful bride down in Florida.”
My mother put down her fork. “Beautiful bride?”
“You heard me.” Tish took a long sip of her wine.
“They got married?”
“Apparently, they went to a justice of the peace in the city last week. We just found out when he called about an hour ago. They’re doing a little ceremony down in Miami with her family over Thanksgiving, and they want Skylar to fly down.”
Shit. That’s why she was being quiet.
I looked over at her until she would look at me. The disappointment in her eyes was palpable. I hated seeing her upset. She very rarely let things get to her. My rock.
Skylar went to visit her father in Brooklyn about one weekend a month. She wasn’t crazy about spending any long amount of time with him, but he was way more involved in her life than my father was in mine. Still, it freaked me out sometimes how similar our family situations were.
While Skylar’s Dad didn’t leave Tish for another woman specifically, he hadn’t exactly been faithful, either. He’d only had one serious girlfriend since the divorce and recently moved in with her. She was apparently now his wife.
My mother turned to Skylar. “Honey, are you okay with all this?”
She wiped her mouth with a napkin then threw it down. “Am I okay with Oliver marrying titanium tits? Sure…whatever. But am I okay with him casually calling to tell us about it after the fact, like he was announcing what he had for breakfast? No. I’m not okay with that.” She got up from the table abruptly. “Excuse me.”
I got up a minute later and found her in the living room where she was standing by the window. It was still early in the evening, but it was already dark out.
“Hey…you okay?”
She turned around to look at me before returning her gaze to the rain that had started to fall outside. “It’s not even about me. I’m mad for my Mom. My parents were together for fifteen years. She’s acting like this doesn’t bother her, but I know it does. I always tell myself they’re better off apart, but God, this must sting. She hasn’t even dated anyone, and he elopes with the first serious girlfriend he gets and acts like it’s nothing. It’s the lack of respect that gets me. She just doesn’t want it to show, but she’s hurting right now.”
She was more concerned with her mother’s feelings than her own. Typical Skylar.
I wanted to hug her. A few weeks ago, I might have, but now, I really needed to refrain from touching her. “I wish I could say something that would help. But only time usually fixes these things. You know I understand.”
She turned to me. “Yeah…out of everyone…I know you do.”
“Don’t let Oliver’s dumb decisions ruin your weekend. Your mom will be okay. She has my mother now, who definitely knows what she’s going through, and she’s damn lucky to have a daughter who cares about her so much.”
She finally cracked a smile. “Why are you home on a Friday night anyway? I figured you’d be out with the girl of the week.”
“I decided to stay in for a change and…” I hesitated.
“And?”
“So…I kind of have something that might cheer you up. It’s sort of an early birthday gift.”
Skylar squinted her eyes suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”
“Come with me.”
Come with me? Really? Nice word choice.
She followed me through the kitchen past our mothers who were now polishing off the bottle of wine. My heart was racing in anticipation as we walked up the carpeted stairs to my room.
The look on her face when the door opened was priceless. Where was Angie and her camera when you needed her?
“Seamus?!”
She rushed over to the cage in the corner of the room. The parrot flapped his wings excitedly and tilted his head repeatedly like he recognized her.
“Holy Toledo!”
I laughed because it was the first time he used his signature phrase since we left the pet store earlier. Figures, he would show off for her.
“I’ve been hiding him in here all day. I got lucky because he was quiet all throughout dinner and didn’t ruin the surprise.”
“You…you bought him?” She looked back at me in disbelief.
“Holy Toledo!”
“Yup. He’s ours.”
“How…did you afford it? He’s expensive!”
“I put him on layaway.”
“They have that for birds?”
“The store employees knew how much you loved him, and when I told them I wanted to buy him for you, they worked with me. I’ve been saving and paying in installments every week since he was returned to the store. They held him until this afternoon when I picked him up.”
The only other time I had ever seen Skylar cry was when I left town as a kid. But now, her eyes were filling with happy tears, and I wasn’t sure how to react. I just knew that being the one responsible for making her happy made me giddy.
“This is the best gift anyone has ever given me.”
I kept my hands in my pockets to squelch the urge to hug her and to discourage her from coming near me. “I was thinking I’d keep him here for you. I know you say you’re a light sleeper. I think I can sleep through anything. They said he could get kind of noisy when he gets temperamental. I got him this special breathable blanket to throw over the cage at night, to teach him to sleep on my schedule. He needs it dark to sleep.”
“Holy Toledo!”
“Can I take him out?”
“He’s yours. Do whatever you want.”
She carefully opened the cage and lifted him out onto her finger. “Hey, buddy. Remember me? Guess what? You’re mine now. I can’t believe it. I love you. Yes, I do. I love you so much.” She kissed his beak and continued whispering sweet nothings.
Lucky-ass bird.
You’re mine now. I love you. I closed my eyes for a second, pretending that she was saying those things to me. Damn bird was supposed to distract from my feelings, not enhance them.
Seamus’ wings were flapping like crazy now. We actually only guessed on his gender, but something told me he was definitely all male.
“Holy Toledo.”
***
It started to dawn on me why that other customer returned Seamus to the pet store.
My mother walked into my room about two in the morning. “Did you get a dog for her, too? What the hell is going on?”
I had my pillow wrapped around my head. “No! This thing just started barking out of nowhere.”
“Apparently, he misses his old stomping grounds,” she joked.
I threw the pillow in frustration. “What the hell do I do?”
“Well, you can’t exactly return him.”
“No. I couldn’t do that to Skylar.”
My mother sat at the foot of my bed and laughed, “You would do anything for that girl, wouldn’t you?”
“Mom…” I said, dismissively.
I hadn’t discussed my feelings for Skylar with my mother, and I certainly wasn’t going to get into it in the middle of the night with a barking parrot.
“Okay. We’ll have to do some internet research on how to get him to stop. In the meantime, I’ll put some earplugs in.”
I returned the pillow to my ears as my mother left the room.
After another half-hour of barking and some howling now mixed in, I turned on the light and met him face to face.
“Stop BARKING!”
He continued to yelp in my face.
I pointed my index finger. “Look. If you don’t cut that out, I don’t bring the girl back here to see you. No more girl! You hear me? I’m tired. NO MORE GIRL.”
Seamus flapped his wings and tilted his head like he understood. He flew around the cage in a flustered panic, and when I covered him again with the breathable blanket, by some miracle…the barking stopped.
Coincidence? I think not. Seamus and I apparently had something in common.
***
I had picked up more hours at the coffee shop the following week to help pay for Seamus, and that also meant less time with Skylar, which was probably a good thing.
Thursday was my day off, so she and Davey were supposed to come over and do homework around four.
About an hour earlier, my phone rang. It was Skylar. I picked up. “Hey, you.”
“I’m out front. I don’t think your doorbell is working. It’s pouring rain, and I lost my house key. Can I come in?”
“Uh…yeah. Sure. I’ll be right down.”
This would be the first time we were totally alone in my house since before the carnival, but what was I supposed to do?
When I opened the door, her hair was sopping wet and so were her clothes. That f*cking Catholic school uniform was already a tease, but now, it was stuck to her body. It was the hottest thing I had ever seen.
Inhaling her scent as she brushed past me was like taking a hit of a drug. “Thank goodness you were home.”
“Yeah. Thank goodness,” I muttered under my breath, watching her go up the stairs to my room. I panicked. “Where are you going?”
“I wanna see Seamus.”
F*ck.
“Oh. Yeah.”
The bird was flitting around like crazy when she walked into the room. He was practically dead from the neck down and the ass up when it was just the two of us.
“Seamus! Mama’s here!” Skylar said.
Some water dripped off of her hair down the back of her white dress shirt. I could see the back of her bra through the wet material, and as she bent to take Seamus out of the cage, my eyes trailed down to the sight of her skirt riding up her legs and those f*cking knee socks.
As much as I tried to control it, my mind went there, to that place I tried so hard to stay away from. All I could think about was what it would feel like to be sandwiched between those legs, and I felt myself getting hard. This was not good.
It got worse when she turned around with the bird perched on her finger. Her nipples were completely visible through the thin, wet fabric of her shirt. Water continued to drip down off of her hair onto her chest. My lips tingled as I imagined what it would be like to lick the water right off of her. My body tensed as she approached and sat next to me on the bed.
“You’ve been a bad boy.”
My pulse quickened. “Huh?”
“Seamus. He’s been bad. Your mom told me about the barking.”
Phew. I thought she had been reading my mind.
“Oh! Yeah. Well, we kind of came to an understanding with that…he and I. It’s all good now. He doesn’t do it as much.”
“That’s good.” She kissed his beak.
“Holy Toledo!”
He was in his glory, hamming it up for her. I was onto him now.
She was sitting so close to me that I could smell the rain on her body mixed with her perfume. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming, and I wished I could erase the memory of what it actually felt like.
“I’m sorry. I’m getting you all wet, aren’t I?”
My breathing was erratic now. “What?”
“I should probably get out of these clothes.”
F*ck. What? No.
My dick heard that loud and clear.
“Do you have something I could change into?”
I do. I just can’t stand up right now, or you’re gonna see how much I want you.
“Yeah. Um…go into my closet and pick whatever you want.”
“Thanks.”
She returned Seamus to his cage before walking over and taking a long, white t-shirt off a hanger.
Continuing to be paralyzed by my erection, I stayed on the bed and pointed to my chest of drawers. “There are some shorts in there. My pants would be a little too long for you.”
She looked back and smiled at me. “You think? Just a little.” She grabbed a pair of shorts with a drawstring. “Where can I change?”
Right here. On top of me.
“The bathroom downstairs.” That was the safest place because it was the furthest spot from my cock, who was now standing in line for front row tickets to Skylar’s wardrobe change. I needed as much time as possible to get rid of his excitement before she came back.
“I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time.”
When I could hear that she was downstairs, I got up and tried to rationalize with my dick.
“Come on. We can do this. Go down.”
Nothing was changing. She could not see me like this.
“F*cking boner. Go down!”
I paced the room, continuing my attempt to reason with it.
Seamus was flapping his wings. “What are you looking at? I suppose you think this is funny.”
“Holy Toledo!”
“Yeah. F*ck you.”
I decided I had no choice but to jump in the upstairs shower. I’d have to make up a story for the sudden need to bathe. “Skylar, I just shit myself waiting for you to come back upstairs…”
She was still downstairs when I turned the shower on to the coldest setting and got in. It wasn’t working, so I warmed the water and did the only thing I could. I let myself think about undressing her and sucking every ounce of water off her body as I jerked myself off and came all over the tile wall. It was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever given myself.
I dried off and now, I was definitely ready to go back. She’d be out of that wet uniform, dressed in my baggy clothes, and we’d be good to go.
When I returned to the bedroom, she was sitting back on the bed holding Seamus. She had brushed through her wet hair and still looked so f*cking beautiful. I loved seeing her in my t-shirt, even though it looked more like a dress.
“You were taking a shower?”
“Yeah…um…sometimes I do that in the afternoon. It’s…refreshing.”
She laughed with a look of disbelief. “Okay. That’s weird.”
I changed the subject. “You want to do some homework?”
It was almost four. Where the hell was Davey?
We opened our books, and I moved over to the desk while Skylar lay on her stomach on the bed.
We fell into a nice, comfortable silence as a Coldplay song played from my iPod dock on low volume. Despite my obvious discomfort over my physical attraction to her, these were really the moments I loved best with Skylar, just sitting around, spending quiet time together.
“F*cking boner. Go down!”
Skylar hopped up from the bed and turned toward Seamus. “What was that? What did he just say?”
“F*cking boner. Go down!”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I tried my best to play dumb. “I don’t know what he’s saying.”
“It sounds like he’s saying ‘f*cking boner…go down?’”
“Yeah, that’s what it sounds like, doesn’t it?”
I knew I repeated those words several times when Skylar was changing downstairs. It figured Seamus would take this opportunity to suddenly regain his ability to mimic just so he could screw me over.
She covered her mouth in laughter. “That is nuts. He’s so unpredictable lately.” She walked over to the cage and took Seamus out. He flapped his wings and turned his head slowly toward me, in his own silent way telling me to “f*ck off.”
I laughed along with her, but really, I wanted to hide in the closet. She was smart and knew damn well where he must have learned his new phrase.
My phone chimed.
“It’s Davey. He’s downstairs.”
I welcomed the opportunity to get out of that room for a minute. Today was definitely not my day.
“Yo,” he said, as he entered, carrying a stack of books up the stairs.
Skylar was still playing with the bird when we returned to my room.
“Hey, Davey.”
“F*cking boner. Go down!”
“Hey, Skylar. Uh…” He looked at me. “What the hell did that bird just say?”
I shook my head and glared at him in a silent warning not to push it. Davey gave me a knowing but amused look.
Skylar returned Seamus to his perch in the cage and lay back down on my bed. “Are you guys cold?”
“Not really,” I said.
“I have the chills for some reason. I think I’m coming down with something. Do you mind if I use your covers?”
“Not at all.”
My sheets were going to smell like her tonight.
The three of us opened our books and quietly got to work. From time to time, I would look up at Skylar in my bed. She was still shivering. Davey seemed to catch me staring at her at one point and rolled his eyes. I gave him the finger, and he didn’t return it like he usually did. He would get back at me later in his own special way.
“When it comes to Skylar, I can’t figure out if you’re Himeros or Pothos, Mitch.”
“Say what?”
“I’m studying for my Greek mythology test. We have to memorize some of the Gods.”
“What does this have to do with me?”
His dreads flew around as he just laughed hysterically and didn’t say anything.
Skylar looked up from the bed but didn’t seem too affected by the comment. She continued to shiver.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Not really. I’m feeling kind of achy. I think I have a fever. I should probably go home.”
“Let me walk you.”
She took one of my coats, and we walked across the street. It was already dark, and light snowflakes were starting to fly. We could see our breath.
Skylar continued to shiver as she knocked and rang the doorbell. “She’d better be home.”
Tish answered the door. “I got your text. You lost your keys?”
“I think I left them in my locker.”
“Hey, Mitch.”
I waved to Tish and followed Skylar inside.
“I am not feeling well, Mom.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I think I might be getting the flu or something.”
Tish felt Skylar’s forehead. “You should go to sleep early tonight.”
She took off my coat and handed it back to me. “You gonna head back?”
“I’ll hang out for a few minutes.”
For some reason, I just didn’t want to leave Skylar. She rarely got sick. In fact, I couldn’t recall a single time before this. I followed her into her room, and as she got under her covers, I sat at the edge of her bed by her feet.
“You should get back to Davey.”
“You kidding? He’s probably having a field day searching my drawers and raiding the fridge. He’ll be fine.”
Her teeth chattered as she laughed.
“Do you have any NyQuil? That shit will knock you out until tomorrow.”
“Oh, good to know. I’ll have to be sure to take some with me down to Florida for Oliver’s wedding.”
“You decided to go?”
She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. “I think so.”
“That’s the right decision. It sucks, and it might give you angina, but you’ll get through it.”
“It might give me what? Vagina?”
“Angina! My grandmother says that all of the time. It’s like chest pains or something. You have a dirty mind, girl.”
“You love that about me, though.”
“You’re right. I do. Nothing gets past you, and nothing bothers you. I like not having to walk on eggshells when I talk to you.” I playfully squeezed her feet.
“That felt good.”
“What?”
“When you squeezed my feet like that.”
“You want me to do it again? Give you a foot rub?”
“No, I don’t want a foot rub…said no one ever.”
“Okay.” I laughed and repositioned both of her feet onto my lap, squeezing her toes with both of my hands in firm pulses.
“Speaking of dirty mind…what was up with our bird talking about boners?”
“I have no idea.”
“You sure about that?”
My phone chimed. Saved by the bell. Maybe not.
Stop going down on her and get back here and make me a sandwich.
“F*ckin’ Davey.”
“What? What does it say?”
“I can’t tell you. It’s—”
“About us?” She put her head down for a bit then looked straight into my eyes. “You told him we kissed, didn’t you?”
I stopped rubbing her feet, and my heart was pounding. “Yeah.”
“I told Angie. I had to talk about it with someone because we weren’t talking about it. You know?”
I swallowed, unprepared to discuss this. “Yeah, I know.”
She held out her hand. “Show me the text.”
I laughed nervously. “No.”
“Show it to me.”
My tone was serious now. “No, Skylar.”
She got up from under the covers and grabbed my phone. She was sick and shouldn’t have been exerting herself. I knew she wouldn’t back down, so I didn’t fight her.
F*ck.
She read it and rolled her eyes.
“I’m sorry he’s being a dick,” I said.
“You think that bothers me?”
“No…but it’s disrespectful.”
“I don’t care what anybody thinks. I just care about you. Did you forget that I can sense what certain people are feeling? With you, it’s stronger than most, always has been. You think you’re hiding stuff from me, but you’re not, not earlier today in your room, not any day. Himeros and Pothos…”
“What?”
“The Greek Gods Davey was studying that he said reminded him of you.”
“Yeah…what about them?”
“I studied them, too. Himeros is the God of desire and unrequited love. Pothos is the God of yearning and wanting.”
Shit.
I let out a long, shaky breath. “Oh.”
“Was he right? Were you just trying to stick it to Aidan with that kiss, or do you really want me? Please be honest.”
Her eyes were searing into mine, and I felt like she could see right through me. If that were the case, then she knew I wanted her more than anything in my entire life. There was no point in lying. I may never muster up the courage to make good on my feelings, but I couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore and deny what was painfully obvious. I looked down for a moment, and my tense hands formed into fists when I whispered it. “F*ck yes…I want you.”
It felt good to finally admit it out loud.
I was sweating, but she was still shivering when I looked up at her. Her lips spread open into a slight, sympathetic smile. It took every ounce of strength in me not to cover her cold body with mine.
“Thank you for being honest.”
I nodded, unable to take my eyes off her now. “It’s the truth.”
She adjusted the blankets over herself and sat up when she said, “I’ll talk about almost anything, but it’s not easy for me to talk about my feelings for you because getting rejected by you is about the only thing that could destroy my pride. But you mean more to me than my pride, more to me than probably anyone ever has. I don’t want to lose moments with you. I don’t want you to push me away like you have been because you’re afraid. I need you to know that if we screw up and fail, no matter what happens, you won’t lose me, okay? I’ll always be here.”
Hearing her say that meant everything. Now, I had to work on believing it.
“Okay.”
“I’m going to go to sleep.”
I left her bedroom in a daze.
Her scent was all over my bedding that night as I played her words in my head over and over again.
Over the next several months, that conversation in Skylar’s bedroom would haunt me. I don’t want to lose moments with you. I’ll always be here.
I wondered if she sensed something that day, because I could have never predicted that the possibility of losing Skylar would take on a whole new meaning.