Chapter Seventeen
I was a bastard—a complete and total douchebag for bailing on Abby. I realized that the moment I let the suite door close behind me. Then the feeling persisted as I entered my room and slipped out of my clothes. Butt ass naked, I fell into bed and buried my face in the pillow.
The first reason I left was because Jude appearing freaked the hell out of me. I didn’t know how much he had seen, and I didn’t want Bray kicking my ass for scarring his kid because Abby was taking care of my needs and getting me off. But then I came to realize that the main reason I had bailed was because I was scared.
Yeah, I didn’t know how to deal with all I was feeling for Abby. I knew I loved her at the studio and then when I meshed that with the sexual part, I was f*cking floored and obliterated emotionally. So I did the only thing scared men do.
I ran.
And I felt like an even bigger jackass, especially when I got her questioning texts. I mean, I should have texted her right back and lied by claiming I was fine or that I was tired. But no, I was an even bigger a*shole because not only did I not reply, but I turned my f*cking phone off because I didn’t know what the hell to say to her.
And although I was mentally and physically exhausted, sleep evaded me. At two am, I pulled my ass out of the bed and started pacing around the room. Out-of-control thoughts whirled through my mind so fast I staggered on my feet.
There was no more denial. I was truly head over f*cking heels in love with Abby.
But deep down, I knew the root of my problem with Abby. I was in love with a girl who was way too good for me. Abby had such a giving heart and a pure, inner beauty that I didn’t deserve to taint or destroy. We’d only known each other for three weeks, and I’d already hurt her too many times with my stupidity. Knowing me, I would continue hurting her over and over again. So maybe I should walk away from her. Wouldn’t it be better for her in the long run? I could never give her all she deserved. She wanted the fairy tale of a happily-ever-after with a husband and kids, and I didn’t know shit about any of that.
Raking my hand through my hair, I thought about going to her in the morning and telling her that whatever we had was over. But just the image of walking away from her caused a searing pain to radiate through my chest, and I had to fight to breathe.
No, I couldn’t walk away from her, not when I loved her. I’d never loved a girl as much, and I couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone more. I wanted to see where this crazy thing we had started took us. I wanted to claim her as my own in every possible way. Hell, when it got down to it, I could almost envision putting a fat, shiny diamond on her finger.
And then the thought hit me that maybe I’d already screwed up too much and lost her. That’s when the walls began to close in around me. I threw on my clothes and headed out the door. Staring at the suite door across from me, I lightly wrapped on the door. “Abby?” I called.
I knew she probably couldn’t hear me if she was in the bedroom with the kids, but I was silently hoping that maybe Melody had woken up for a bottle or some shit that babies did. I banged a little louder, but there was still no response. Taking my phone from my pocket, I powered it on. I then sent a barrage of text messages telling her how sorry I was and what a dick I’d been.
My final text read Angel: I’m right outside the door ready to beg and plead for your forgiveness. If it takes getting down on my knees in a f*cking hotel hallway, I will. That’s how sorry I am and how much you mean to me.
Every single one remained unread and unanswered.
Huffing with agitation, I headed down the hall to the elevators. I needed some time to clear my head, and there was no better place than the streets of my second home to do it. I walked a couple of blocks, taking in the sights and sounds. Atlanta was no New York when it came to never sleeping or its crowds, so I didn’t have to worry about running into a lot of people who might recognize me.
But no matter how far I walked, peace of mind never came. Finally when I backtracked to the hotel, it was almost five. I knew the moment it wasn’t an ungodly hour, I would go to Abby and beg her forgiveness.
I collapsed onto the bed and made the mistake of checking my phone. Every single one of my texts had been read, but there was no response. Tears stung my eyes, causing me to feel like an absolute and total p-ssy. After exhausting myself with crying, I fell into a restless sleep, and when the first rays of amber sunlight began streaking through the blinds, I woke up.
Checking my phone, I saw there was still no response from Abby. With a ragged sigh, I rose out of bed. While I grabbed a quick shower, I rehearsed in my mind exactly what I was going to say to Abby. I knew some epic groveling was going to be in order for what I had done, and since my mouth usually ruined most moments between us, I wanted to be prepared. I’d just climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist when I heard a knock at the door.
My heart surged at the thought that my angel had come to me. I threw open the door. “Angel, I—”
But it wasn’t Abby. Instead, Bree stood there with a cat-like smile spread across her lips. “Hey baby!”
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
A funny look flickered across her face. “I’m here for you of course. Don’t I always come along to the shows to take care of my man’s needs?” Her eyes trailed down my half naked frame. “Damn, you’re looking good enough to eat this morning.”
When she started to kiss me, I jerked back. “Look, Bree, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing between you and me anymore.”
The color slowly drained from her face as she trembled. “You’re with someone else, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
Her eyes narrowed. “It's that little goody two-shoes whose name you called out when we were screwing, isn't it?”
I ran my hands through my wet hair. “Yeah, it is. So you really need to go.”
Bree’s tough-as-nails veneer faded a little as she reached out for me. “Please don’t do this, Jake. We’ve been together a long, long time.”
“We’ve been having sex a long time, but there was nothing else between us.”
“That’s not true!” she countered.
“Yes, it is.”
Before I could stop her, she threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and clinging to my body. And because the universe loved to f*ck with me, it was at that precise moment that the suite door across the hall opened, and Abby and Lily stepped out.
At the sight of me entangled in Bree’s arms, Abby’s eyes bulged in shock while her hand flew to her mouth. “Wait, no, this isn’t what it looks like!” I argued.
Instead of letting me go, Bree curved herself tighter against me. Abby gave a slight shake of her head before starting down the hallway.
“Abby!” I cried. Trying to control my anger, I pried Bree off of me. “Get out of here right now before I have you thrown out!” I spat.
“Please don’t do this Jake!”
I sprinted after Abby. I finally caught up with her at the elevators. “Angel, please listen to me. There was nothing happening with Bree. I swear on my life and my mother’s life.”
Abby shook her head so fast I feared she might get whiplash. “I can’t do this anymore, Jake. I can’t keep being yanked back and forth by your emotional immaturity. One minute you’re bailing on me and making me feel used and dirty and then the next I find your ex-flame all over you. It’s too much.”
“But this morning is not what you think! Bree came to see me, and when I told her things were over between us, she lunged at me.” At the disbelief that still hung in Abby’s eyes, I growled in frustration. “Would you think about what you really saw for a minute? Bree was desperately clinging to me, not the other way around. I wasn’t even touching her.”
The elevator doors dinged open, and she hopped on. “Please, Angel. You read my texts. You know how f*cking sorry I am.”
Tears shimmered in her blue eyes. “Yeah, well, sometimes sorry just isn’t enough.”
“Don’t do this!” I pleaded.
She held my gaze until the doors closed. “F*ck!” I cried smacking my palm on the elevator door. A man passing by me tried to hide his amusement at my precarious situation. After all I was out in the hallway in only a towel.
When I stalked back down to my room, Bree was gone. Once I slammed the door, I grabbed my phone. I knew I had to call the other woman I loved for advice. She answered on the second ring. “Mama…”
“Jacob, what’s wrong?”
“I’m in love, but I’ve f*cked it all up.”
She didn’t even bother chiding me about my language. “Oh honey, tell me what happened.” I then filled her in on every possible detail. “If you love Abby like you claim to, then you have to keep fighting for her. You can’t give up.”
“What can I do to make her talk to me?”
“You need to do something sweet for her to prove how much you care.”
“But what?”
Mama chuckled. “Honey, I can’t tell you that. You have to figure that out for yourself. It has to be from your heart—not mine.”
“Thanks a lot,” I grumbled.
“All I can tell you to do is fight for her. Don’t give up until you’ve convinced her to talk to you.”
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
“Good luck, sweetie.”
“Thanks.”
Once I hung up with Mama, I paced around the room, trying to think of some grand gestures. Finally I called a local florist and spent a small fortune on every rose they had in the store. Even though it was mortifying as hell, I rattled on for several minutes about what to write on the card. The guys were texting me about breakfast, so I reluctantly threw on some clothes. I headed downstairs to the hotel dining room where they were waiting on me. When I flopped into my chair, AJ glanced around the table. “Where’s Abby?”
Brayden chuckled before winking at Lily. “Don’t tell me she needs a day to recuperate from watching our little monsters?”
After shifting Melody on her hip, Lily shot me a disgusted look. “No, everything went fine with the kids.”
Braydon’s brow creased. “Then where is she?”
“Why don’t you ask Mr. A*shole over there?” Lily snapped.
“Mommy said a bad word!” Jude exclaimed from his perch on Rhys’s lap.
“Um, why don’t you and I go throw some more pennies in that fountain, huh?” Rhys suggested. As he brushed past me, Rhys whispered, “But I better get the whole damn story when I get back!”
Once Jude was out of earshot, every pair of eyes at the table burned into me. “Okay, so I f*cked up pretty bad.”
Brayden’s brows furrowed in worry. “Maybe you should start from the beginning.”
I jerked my hand through my hair and drew in a ragged breath. “Look, last night, Abby and I got a little carried away.”
A strangled noise came from the back of Brayden’s throat. “Please tell me my son didn’t see you guys doing anything?”
“God no! We were done by the time he woke up from his nightmare and came looking for Abby.”
Brayden pinched the bridge above his nose. “Would you please explain exactly what happened?”
I squirmed in my seat. “After Abby put the kids to bed, we fooled around a little. When we were done, Jude woke up and wanted Abby. I was embarrassed by him almost catching us, so I bailed. And then I didn’t text her to check on her.”
“Once again, you’re an a*shole!” Lily exclaimed.
“Babe, please,” Brayden protested.
“Don’t tell me you’re defending him?”
Brayden shook his head wildly back and forth. “Of course not. What he did was completely and totally uncalled for. He made Abby feel cheap and used!”
I cringed. “I realize that now.”
“You’re such an idiot!” Lily replied.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m new to all this relationship stuff. It was a guarantee I was going to screw up.”
Lily huffed exasperatedly. “Now tell them what else happened.”
AJ’s dark eyes widened in disbelief. “There’s more?”
“Unfortunately yes.” I then explained about Bree showing up and Abby seeing her hugging me.
“Christ almighty, Jake, you sure have a gift for screwing up,” Brayden mused.
“Tell me about,” I mumbled miserably.
“You gotta make it right, dude,” AJ said.
“I’ve tried. Hell, I just spent a f*cking fortune having dozens upon dozens of roses sent to her. She still won’t talk to me.”
Scratching his chin, AJ replied, “Okay, so it’s gotta be something a little more epic than just flowers.” He glanced over at Lily. “You’re a chick. What should he do?”
She rolled her eyes at him before handing Melody to Brayden. She then sat down next to me. “Jake, I’ve known you for eight years, and for most of those years, you’ve absolutely disgusted me with your treatment of women.”
“Thanks for the pep talk,” I grumbled.
She held up her hand. “Let me finish.”
“Fine.”
“Even though you made a pretty dick move, I can tell you like Abby a lot. I mean I’ve never seen you act this way around a girl before.” I bobbed my head in agreement. “I’d venture to say that even though it’s been a whirlwind the last three weeks that you might even love her.”
I swallowed hard under her’s and the guy’s scrutiny. “I know it’s quick, but I’ve fallen in love with her for sure. And yeah, I like love her, love her.”
Lily’s eyes misted over while Brayden’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Seriously dude?”
“Yeah…seriously.”
“Have you really told her yet?” AJ asked.
“No, not yet.”
“Then you have to tell her,” Lily commanded.
“Yeah, well, I’d love to do that, but she isn’t talking to me at the moment.”
AJ shook his head. “That’s why you gotta do something f*cking epic to make her see the light.”
“And just what would you suggest, Mr. Latin Lover? I bring her on stage and sing to her about how much I love her?”
AJ’s eyes bulged as Lily drew in a sharp breath. When I glanced at Brayden, he grinned. “That’s exactly what you do.”
Both AJ and Lily nodded in agreement. “Like when we usually bring a fan up, I should bring her instead?”
AJ snapped his fingers. “Hell yes!”
“That sounds amazing, but how in the hell am I going to get her to the show? She won’t answer my calls or texts or even come to the door.”
Lily grabbed my hand in hers. “You leave that part to me.”
I didn’t reply for a minute. Instead, I became lost in thought about how to make tonight the most amazing I could for Abby. And then it hit me. “Lily, will you take Abby shopping while we’re at rehearsal?”
“Do you want me to like distract her or something?”
“No, it’s just I need her wearing white like the first time I met her.”
Lily expression softened. “Oh Jake, that’s so sweet and romantic.”
I grinned. “Thank you. I’m glad I have your vote of confidence.” I then turned to Bray and AJ. “We’re going to need a little extra rehearsal time today to add in the song I want to do.”
“You’re not doing the usual?” AJ asked.
“No, this has to be completely different and special for Abby.”
Brayden cocked his head at me. “And just what song are you planning on doing?”
With a wink, I replied, “It’s a surprise I plan to reveal at rehearsal.”
***