I had to smile at her enthusiasm. Did she really think the truth would be a good thing? If my secrets were pleasant, why would I keep them from her?
"Joe, then," I agreed. "If Joe had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." I shook my head and repressed a shudder at the thought of how close I had been to being too late today. "Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."
Jacob grimaced at this... that wasn't something to joke about. He also thought that it really wouldn't have been Bella who devastated the crime rate, but didn't say anything.
Her lips turned down at the corners, and pouted out. "We were speaking of a hypothetical case."
Jacob gave a weak smile at that.
I laughed at her irritation.
Her lips, her skin... They looked so soft. I wanted to touch them. I wanted to press my fingertip against the corner of her frown and turn it up. Impossible. My skin would be repellent to her.
"Yes, we were," I said, returning to the conversation before I could depress myself too thoroughly. "Shall we call you 'Jane'?"
"No... I don't like Jane," Bella said and Jacob chuckled at that.
She leaned across the table toward me, all humor and irritation gone from her wide eyes.
"How did you know?" she asked, her voice low and intense.
Should I tell her the truth? And, if so, what portion?
I wanted to tell her. I wanted to deserve the trust I could still see on her face.
"You can trust me, you know," she whispered, and she reached one hand forward as if to touch my hands where they rested on top of the empty table before me.
"Ha," Bella said, "I knew this whole touching aversion thing was all in his head."
I pulled them back - hating the thought of her reaction to my frigid stone skin - and she dropped her hand.
"If I'm reaching for you, I don't care about that," Bella said a little irritated at that.
I knew that I could trust her with protecting my secrets; she was entirely trustworthy, good to the core. But I couldn't trust her not to be horrified by them. She should be horrified. The truth was horror.
"But she's not normal, remember?" Jacob said.
"You want him to tell me, too," Bella said.
"You're right, I'm so over this part where he thinks how horrified you should be," Jacob said.
"I don't know if I have a choice anymore," I murmured. I remembered that I'd once teased her by calling her 'exceptionally unobservant.' Offended her, if I'd been judging her expressions correctly. Well, I could right that one injustice, at least. "I was wrong - you're much more observant than I gave you credit for." And, though she might not realize it, I'd given her plenty of credit already. She missed nothing.
Bella smiled at that.
"I thought you were always right," she said, smiling as she teased me.
Both Bella and Jacob laughed at that.
"He'll have to change that now," Jacob laughed even harder. "He's always right except when it comes to you."
"I used to be." I used to know what I was doing. I used to be always sure of my course. And now everything was chaos and tumult.
Yet I wouldn't trade it. I didn't want the life that made sense. Not if the chaos meant that I could be with Bella.
"I was wrong about you on one other thing as well," I went on, setting the record straight on another point. "You're not a magnet for accidents - that's not a broad enough classification. You are a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten mile radius, it will invariably find you."
"You didn't really need to set the record straight on that one," Bella groaned and Jacob chuckled at her reaction.
Why her? What had she done to deserve any of this?
Bella's face turned serious again. "And you put yourself into that category?"
Honesty was more important in regards to this question than any other.
"Unequivocally."
"What's the matter with saying yes?" Jacob rolled his eyes.
"It wouldn't be Edward," Bella shrugged with a smile.
Her eyes narrowed slightly - not suspicious now, but oddly concerned. She reached her hand across the table again, slowly and deliberately. I pulled my hands an inch away from her, but she ignored that, determined to touch me. I held my breath - not because of her scent now, but because of the sudden, overwhelming tension. Fear. My skin would disgust her. She would run away.
Bella really hoped that this would be the last time she had to hear that.
She brushed her fingertips lightly across the back of my hand. The heat of her gentle, willing touch was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was almost pure pleasure.
"Wow... look what a simple touch does to you," Jacob laughed as Bella blushed a little.
Would have been, except for my fear. I watched her face as she felt the cold stone of my skin, still unable to breathe.
A half-smile turned up the corners of her lips.
"Thank you," she said, meeting my stare with an intense gaze of her own. "That's twice now."
Her soft fingers lingered on my hand as if they found it pleasant to be there.