“You haven’t said a word to me in three months and you’re still worried about being seen with me? Are you f**king serious? All that stuff you just said about missing me and wanting me back and you’re still stuck on this we-can’t-be-seen-together-in-public shit?”
“I’m sorry...I just thought that—”
“That I would come running after you like I always do? That I would force myself to be in your life when you made it perfectly clear that that’s not what you wanted? What the f**k were you thinking?” He looked hurt.
“Jonathan, I’m—”
“Did you consider my feelings at all? Did you think I wouldn’t believe you if you told me about my mother? I would have. And I would’ve put a stop to it the second you told me about it.”
“I—”
“I’m done playing games with you, Claire. There are a lot of things that I can get over rather quickly, but this bullshit isn’t one of them. I want you to choose.”
“What? What are you saying?”
“If you want to be with me like you say you do, and you really are in love with me like I’m in love with you, I need you to choose me over Damien.”
“I do. I just did. Can’t you—”
“In front of him, with the lights on.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I think you’re still scared about us being seen together publicly, like you’ve been from the beginning. In the past, I was fine with that because I’m sensitive to things you’re sensitive about, but...I’ve told you that I don’t half-ass anything and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I’ve done everything to show you that I want you and that I love you. It’s your turn. Choose.”
As if on cue, the lights in the room brightened to white and Damien wrapped his arms around me from behind.
“I’m sorry again, sweetheart.” He kissed the back of my neck. “You weren’t alone for too long were you?”
I shook my head. “No...”
“Oh, I see you’ve found my favorite person. Again.” Damien shrugged. “Did you come to the conference alone, Jonathan? Where’s your date?”
“I’m not sure.” Jonathan looked directly at me. “Miss Gracen, have you seen the woman I’m supposed to be with?”
Everything suddenly fell silent. It felt like the only people in the room were me, Jonathan, and Damien.
“Did you say something, Miss Gracen?” Jonathan raised his eyebrow. “Have you seen who I belong with? The woman who wants to be with me and only me?”
My heart was racing and my palms were beginning to sweat. I swallowed, looking all around the room. “Yes...” I panicked. “She’s over by the bar...”
He nodded his head slowly, saying “I’m done,” with his eyes. “Thank you very much...I guess I didn’t notice her walk by us...All differences aside,” he said as he reached out for Damien’s hand, “that was one hell of a demonstration you put on this afternoon. I wish I had thought of that wireless addition first.”
Damien shook his hand. “Thank you very much. That actually means a lot coming from you. Wait, you’re not going to try and steal it from me are you?”
“No. I already tried to steal what I wanted.” He reached out for my hand and shook it. “It was very nice seeing you again, Miss Gracen. I wish you both well.” And with that, he walked away.
“Hmmm. Maybe he is becoming classier.” Damien laughed. “Would you like to continue our dance now?”
“Yes...” My voice cracked.
As he pulled me close and swayed me to the music, I buried my head in his chest and held back tears.
Why didn’t I just say “She’s right here? I’m sorry Damien, but I’m in love with Jonathan...I want to be with him.” Why couldn’t I just say that?
I’d been playing that scene in my mind all night, wishing I could rewind time and take what I said back. I even went looking for Jonathan after the ball ended, attempting to get a do over, but his security guards wouldn’t let me get close enough.
I sniffled against my pillow for the umpteenth time and felt Damien moving his arms from around me.
“Claire?” He stepped out of bed and hit the lights. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not...I’m not crying...” I choked back another sob. “My allergies just make it look that way sometimes...”
“Would you like me to have room service bring you something?”
“No...”
“I can make you some tea.” He sat on the edge of the bed and caressed my hand. “Would you like some?”
I sniffled. “Sure... Um, would you mind if I went down to the gift shop for a second?”
“What do you need? I can have someone bring it up.”
“Benadryl, but I could use the walk...Alone...”
He reached over me and pulled a few Kleenex off the nightstand. “Come here.” He pulled me up by my arms so I was sitting upright. “When you get back from the shop, I want you to tell me the truth about why you’re crying, okay? Whatever it is, I want to know. I can fix it if you let me.”
No, you can’t...“Okay,” I murmured as he placed a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”