I sighed.
It wasn’t that long ago that Jonathan had come over and watched that with me, Ashley, and Caroline. As a matter of fact, the day it happened, it was like I wasn’t even there: The three of them talked through most of the movie. They argued about what was true to the book and what wasn’t, what parts they liked the best, and who was the biggest fan. It was so bad that at one point, they started betting each other on film trivia—using chocolate “shots” to punish whoever got the facts wrong.
When the film was over and Caroline emerged as the winner, I thought he and I would finally get some alone time, but they decided to watch the next film in the series.
I turned the TV off and went up to my room, crashing face first onto my bed. It’d been three months since I’d broken up with Jonathan and I’d once again failed to go a day without thinking about him.
I thought that more time away from him would make him fade from my memory; that every day that passed would be another day that he wouldn’t infiltrate my thoughts, and that dating someone else would help erase him, but that was far from the truth.
He crossed my mind every time I went to sleep alone, every time I woke up without him by my side, and every time I stepped into my new office where no flowers were waiting for me.
I felt a lump rising up my throat and began to cry. I didn’t attempt to wipe the tears away; I let them fall and rolled over on my side, allowing our memories to play in my mind over and over.
I was remembering our first date, remembering when he pushed me against the railing and slipped his arms around my waist. Just as he was about to press his lips against mine, my phone rang and interrupted the memory. Damien.
“Hello?” I answered softly.
“Hey, sweetheart. Are we still on for our date tonight?”
Shit, I forgot all about that...“Sure, what time should I be ready?”
“Seven o’ clock. Are you okay? You sound a little sick.”
“Oh, yeah.” I sniffled. “I’m fine. Allergies, you know?”
“Do you want to stay in instead? We can—”
“No, no...I’ll take a Zyrtec or something. I really need—I mean, I really want to go out tonight.”
“Okay, then. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me either. See you soon.” I hung up and looked at my watch—four o’clock.
I decided to take my time getting ready, thinking that that would help me keep my memories of Jonathan at bay.
I rolled off the bed and ran a warm bath with extra bubbles. I set my favorite scented candles all around the ledge and quickly undressed, slipping my body underneath the suds.
“Ahhhh...” I lay back and let my shoulders touch the cool ceramic. I reached for my waterproof radio and tuned it to the classical music station, wincing once I heard a familiar refrain. It was the song Jonathan and I danced to on his yacht.
“Step back...Step forward...Your dancing is getting a lot better, Claire...I think we should finish this lesson downstairs...”
I changed the station. Talk radio.
“And in financial news this afternoon, Statham Industries is set to reach yet another milestone as its presale orders have practically toppled the—”
I shut it off. I slid completely under the water, letting my head go underneath, holding myself there as I tried to fight the onslaught of more memories:
We were sitting in the tub together, watching each other—smiling at nothing at all, laughing without a care in the world.
“Come here, Claire.” He reached out for me to move across the Jacuzzi, rolling his eyes when I didn’t move. He slid over to my side and put his arm around me. “Your difficulty never ceases to amaze me...Is taking a bubble bath your favorite thing to do?”
“Yeah, but it’s ten times better when I’m alone.”
“Stop lying to me.”
“Who said I was lying?” I reached up and threaded my fingers through his hair, looking into his eyes as he gazed back into mine. I leaned in and brought his head down lower for a kiss, but he moved back.
“Stop.” He moved my hand away from him and shook his head, sighing. He pulled me into his lap—holding me against his chest, and then he kissed me. “I love you, Claire.”
My heart stopped, my body stilled. I wasn’t sure what to say. “I—”
“You don’t have to say it back.” He planted kisses along my throat. “I know you’re extremely fragile and not sure about exactly what this is, but I want you to know that I do love you and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you...I’ll do whatever you ask me to do if it’ll make you happy.”
He brought his hand up and ran his fingers through my hair, softly kissing my lips—rendering me completely speechless again. “And before you even attempt to ask the obvious, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Ever. Only you.”