I couldn’t take this shit anymore. It was way too much and I was tired of crying about it alone. I needed to end this affair for my own sanity—for my health. I knew that he and I were bound to break up down the line anyway, so as amazing as our relationship had been, it was time to cut him off.
He had no idea what I’d been going through over the past few weeks, and I wasn’t going to tell him. He’d put the pieces together with time, and by then he’d have hopefully found someone who was a much better match.
I’d been contemplating this for a while, but once I cried myself to sleep last night while lying in his arms, I knew that letting him go was what I needed to do.
I didn’t eat lunch with him this afternoon, and I answered all of his sweet random texts with a “We’re still really busy down here, but I promise I’ll come see you later.” I didn’t bother opening any of the notes on his latest flower and chocolate deliveries either; I didn’t want to back out of this.
I waited until the end of the workday, rehearsing my speech over and over, bracing myself for his reaction. As soon as my clock struck six and the “Goodbye Jonathan” alarm on my cell phone sounded, I took the elevator up to his office.
“Good afternoon.” I stopped at his secretary’s desk and cleared my throat. “Is Mr. Statham available right now?”
“Miss Gracen,” she said, smiling, “you know as well as I do that he’s always available for you.”
My heart sank. “I know, but is he busy with another client? I don’t want to interrupt anything important...”
“Oh, no. Not at all. His last appointment ended over an hour ago.” She picked up her phone. “Mr. Statham? Miss Gracen is here to see you.” She motioned for me to head inside.
I exhaled and shut my eyes before twisting the doorknob. Stay focused and make it quick... Don’t make a scene and don’t cry. Whatever you do, don’t cry...
The moment I stepped inside, he swept me into his arms and kissed me. “You’re the best part of my day.” He carried me over to his desk and set me down. “Are you alright? You look sick...”
I think we need to break up. I think we need to break up. Say it! “I’m fine.”
“Hmmm.” He walked over to his cabinet and grabbed a bottle of water. He handed it to me and put his hand on my forehead like he was checking for a fever. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nodded.
He reached into his jacket and pulled out a rectangular jewelry box. “I meant to give it to you yesterday, but the board meeting lasted forever and I forgot all about it. I want you to open it with me later.”
“I can’t accept this...”
He rolled his eyes and placed it into my purse. He moved behind his desk and started packing his briefcase. “Are we still on for dinner tonight? Ashley and Caroline mentioned wanting to make apple pie together so—”
“I think we should break up.”
His head shot up. “What?”
I felt a lump rising up my throat and forced it back down. “I don’t want to be with you anymore...” I swallowed and tried to keep my tears at bay.
I thought he was going to say something—anything, but there was only silence. Deafening silence.
He narrowed his eyes and strolled over to me, making me step back against a wall. “Is this some type of joke?” He hissed. “Because it better be...”
“It’s not a joke.” My voice was a whisper. “I can’t do this to myself anymore...”
“What? Where the f**k is this coming from?”
I ignored his question. I started reciting the speech I’d written earlier. “I think it’s best if you and I go our separate ways, Jonathan. I know it may be hard for you to understand why right now, but we weren’t going to make it too much longer anyway. I’m grateful for everything you’ve—”
“Stop talking.” He pressed his chest against mine and looked directly into my eyes, forcing my body to react against my will. “You’re not making any sense and you know it...”
He placed a firm hand at the small of my back and used his other hand to run his fingers through my hair. He whispered, “You’re just having a rough day...Let me fix it.”
I almost leaned in and kissed him, almost gave in to the warmth that was coursing through my veins, but I jerked my head to the side and pushed him away.
He stared at me for a long time—half confused, half aroused, and I knew I was going to have to go with the worst possible approach if I really wanted to end this.
“Claire...” He sighed. “I’m not sure what happened to you today, but you seem out of it. Whatever it is, let me know so I can make it better...Go sit on the couch so we can—”
“I. Don’t. Want. You. Anymore. What part of that don’t you understand, Jonathan? How many times do you need me to repeat it?”