“What?”
I decided to finally lay my pent-up insecurities on the table. I’d been holding them in for far too long and I wouldn’t dare tell Jonathan. It would just make him become even more wonderful and make me seem insane for even questioning this.
“You know we’re not going to last, Helen,” I said. “It’d never work. Everything that attracted him to me was superficial...Once those things wear off and he realizes that he could have someone half my age with half the baggage, it’ll be over...Then what happens? Do I date someone my age because dating a younger man in the first place is a bad idea? Do I date again at all? Or do I become like you and simply have sex with random men whenever I’m lonely?”
“Are you deliberately trying to kill my buzz or is this something—”
“I’m serious...I can’t talk to anyone else about this. There are some days when I honestly feel insecure about the whole thing.”
“Everyone feels insecure from time to time.” Helen sighed. “It’s normal.”
“But this is different. I don’t know how to deal with his—”
“Listen to me, Claire. Just stop. You think too much—wayyy too much. You know what you should do right now?”
“What?”
“Text him and tell him that you miss him.”
“Huh?”
“Tell him that you miss him.”
“I don’t miss him.” I lied. “I saw him a few days ago. Besides, he’s at some conference in L.A.”
She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. If you two work out, great. If not, great. Take it as a learning experience. You don’t have to have a happily ever after with every guy you date. Just date, and for now be honest with yourself. You miss him.”
I tossed back a drink and decided to take her advice. I texted him. “I miss you...”
My phone vibrated immediately. “Where are you?”
“At a bar with Helen.”
“Which bar?”
“Blackbird.”
“Stay there. I’m on my way to get you.”
“I thought you were in L.A?”
“I am. It’s only a one hour flight (don’t worry) back to San Fran. I’ll see you soon.”
“Was that so hard to do?” Helen downed her gin and tonic. “Now, order me a new drink—an extremely stiff one. Your depressing psycho-babble completely wore off the effects of my last one. I didn’t even feel it burn.”
We both laughed and filled each other in on what had happened over the past few months: She’d officially been named “The Lawyer of the Year,” and had experienced “the sensations of a lifetime” with one of the other nominees when she’d gone to Vegas.
I was telling her about me and Jonathan’s most recent date when I felt my heart speeding up and fluttering against my chest, when I felt my body letting me know that he was somewhere nearby.
I turned around to look for him and saw him standing right behind me.
“Good evening, Claire.” He grinned. “Hello, Helen.”
“Well, that’s my cue.” Helen smiled at us both. “I’ll see you two—”
“Are you okay to drive yourself back?” he asked.
“Oh, I’m not driving. I’m going to call a cab.”
He shook his head. “I’ll have my driver take you home.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
We walked outside where his town car was waiting and Jonathan helped her inside. “Have a good night, Helen. I’ll see you again soon I’m sure.” He shut the door and waited for the car to drive off.
“Come on.” He clasped my hand and walked me two blocks down, into a private parking garage.
We took the elevator up to the third level and walked over to his car. I was about to head over to the passenger side, but he pushed me against the car and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me until I was out of breath.
“I missed you too...” he whispered as he continued to make love to my lips. “Where do you want to go?”
“What do you mean? I—”
He tenderly bit my bottom lip to each syllable. “Where. Do. You. Want. To. Go?”
“Your place?”
“That’s forty minutes away...” He moved his kisses down to my collarbone. “Pick somewhere else.”
“My place?”
“Thirty minutes away...”
“A hotel?”
“Which one?”
“The Ritz Carlton around the corner?”
“Good choice.”
Chapter 24
Jonathan
“Ahhhhh...” Claire reached up and grabbed fistfuls of my hair.
I bent down and kissed her neck, thrusting myself deeper and deeper inside of her. “You’re all I can think about...I can’t concentrate on anything but you...” I breathed heavily. I caressed her br**sts and briefly covered her mouth with mine, reveling in the feel of her soft lips. “Tell me you feel the same way...”
“I...I...” Her hands moved from my head to my back, and she dug her nails into my bare skin. She tried to slow the tempo by grabbing onto my waist, but I pinned her arms above her head.