I own the guilt I feel for the part I played in that night eight years ago, and even though I know I need to forgive both Cassie and myself, I don’t know if I ever will. I feel lighter after unburdening myself to Lia, but I’m far from ready to forget. I may be able to move past it somewhat with time, but I’ll never fully be able to grant myself absolution, so it’s very unlikely I can give that to Cassie, either. Without Lia in my life, I fear I would have eventually descended into a pit of bitterness and self-loathing that would have eaten away at my soul until there was nothing left. If the fucking cocaine didn’t kill me first. I had called Aunt Fae’s doctor friend on the ride to work this morning and made an appointment for later in the week with him to discuss a plan for battling my addiction. I won’t let my demons take me away from the woman I adore, no matter how hard the battle to get free of them may be.
As my mind turns to Lia, I think of our upcoming appointment this afternoon. It seems that we have both been hesitant to find out if she is pregnant ahead of her doctor’s appointment. Maybe we’re afraid of the answer. It’s so final—one way or another. Not knowing is easier to deal with. Despite the love between us, past events and horrors plague both Lia and I. She’s an embattled woman with the spirit of a warrior.
My phone buzzes a moment later and Cindy says in a puzzled tone of voice, “Max is here to see you.” When he comes through the door, I understand her confusion. My normally immaculately dressed lawyer is wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and boots. He also looks like he hasn’t shaved yet. Hell, I hate to even ask if he’s showered. I lean back in my chair and wait for an explanation. I think I deserve that much when my employee and friend shows up looking like a poster from America’s Most Wanted.
He literally falls into a chair in front of my desk and drops his face into his hands. “I need the day off.” He finally looks up.
“Obviously,” I reply, not attempting to hide my amusement. “Are we talking the flu here or something more dire?” Going by his appearance, I’d put money on the second. He’s just usually so…neat for lack of a better word.
“It’s that fucking woman,” he snaps. “I swear you and Lia have ruined my life. I used to have some kind of control, but she’s chipping away at that bit by bit. I might as well just go ahead and gift wrap my balls because that’s next.”
I find myself choking back a laugh, remembering I’d had almost the same thought last night. It seems that suddenly my friends and I are afraid of women turning us into pussies. I don’t bother sharing that tidbit with him. He’s too deep in denial right now. I’ve been there, so I know the signs well. Even though I know the answer, I ask the question anyway just to be an asshole. Fuck, sometimes even I get off on that. “So, who are we talking about here? Have you met someone new?”
He shoots me a look that says he knows I’m screwing with him. “When would I possibly have the time or the energy for that? I’ve been too busy babysitting Lia’s crazy friend!”
“What’s she done now?” I sigh. “I trust she stopped just short of actually shooting Jake?” Rose was beginning to give new meaning to the whole “woman scorned” thing. I can’t imagine how her ex-boyfriend ever got brave enough to dip his dick into another woman. Maybe he didn’t know what she was capable of at that point. I certainly hadn’t.
“She called me last night and was upset because Jake had been threatening her.”
I start laughing. I can’t even fathom Rose as the cowering little woman. Of her and Jake, she’s solidly wearing the pants—and carrying the firearms. I’m just surprised that Max actually fell for the damsel-in-distress routine. The man would have his own mother crying for mercy in the courtroom for fuck’s sake. “And she had some proof of this?”
“She got a text message from him while I was there—or from someone at least. I told her that we would go get a restraining order against him this morning.”
I look him up and down before asking, “You’re going like that? Aren’t you afraid they’ll assume you’re the one after her?”
He ignores my jab at his appearance. “I called her this morning to see what time she wanted me to pick her up and she told me that she just can’t do that to him. She wanted me to come over so we could talk about it. I was actually going to do just that when it hit me. She’s playing me. When I bailed her out of jail the last time, the cops said Jake was terrified of her. They had a big laugh over the whole thing. Said he was screaming for them to keep her away from him. So, why would he have suddenly gotten up the nerve to piss her off further? It just doesn’t make sense at all.”
I shake my head, unable to believe he’s sitting here saying something so unbelievably stupid. She’s completely done some kind of mind-fuck on him. “Man, you need to get it together. Double-check to make sure Jake isn’t actually bothering her, which I highly doubt, and then either jump or cut ties.”
“Jump or cut ties?” he asks. “What in the hell does that mean?”