He told me on the train how he was going to go slow today. Kiss every part of my body. Touch every square inch of me. But that all seems forgotten now.
This is fast and furious. A lot like the first time we did it. Hard. Fast. Primal.
Now he’s kissing me sweetly, grazing his lips across my cheeks, and up by my hairline.
“So much for our plan,” I say.
“I’m sorry, I just, I don’t know what you do to me. No one has ever made me like this. I just want you so badly I can hardly stand it. It’s like I’m an animal.” He laughs, then gets serious. “We’re, like, amazing together.”
“Can we tour the rest of the loft now?”
“As long as you stay dressed like that.”
“Uh, I’m not dressed.”
“Exactly.”
“Dawson, we have to go shopping today. I’m going to find a dress for Homecoming.”
“You got a date I don’t know about?”
“No, I don’t have a date yet. But I’m going, and I’m gonna need a dress.”
“And I get to watch you try them on?”
“You get to see me in them but, no, you don’t get to be in the dressing room with me. But I would like your opinion. I want to look good.”
“Dang. And I was just thinking how good you look naked.”
“I’m not naked. I still have on my boots.”
I grab a cashmere throw off the chair and try to wrap it around me as he picks me up and says, “Which way to the bedroom?”
I giggle and point in the direction that I think it’s in. I thought I had memorized the floor plan.
He manages to find the master bedroom and throws me on the bed.
Then he proceeds to do all the things he threatened to do to me.
Slowly kissing me, rubbing me, torturing me, really, until I can’t wait anymore.
Then it is slow. Amazing. Almost tender.
The real you.
12:30pm
I’m almost asleep when I remember and jump up out of bed.
“Ohmigawd!”
“What?”
“My closet.”
“What about your closet?”
“You’re going to think I’m crazy, Dawson, but I want to close my eyes. Will you open the door and turn on the lights for me?”
He looks at me like I am crazy, but pulls on his boxers and walks to my closet door. I close my eyes and hear a door open. A light switched on.
He grabs my hand and leads me. “Open your eyes.”
I look around. The black and white brocade wallpaper. The black lacquered chandelier. The hot pink Louis VIII chair. The soft flokati rug.
“You decorated your closet?” Dawson asks. He doesn’t get it.
“It’s my closet.” I tell him, but I tell myself, You did this on your own, Keatyn. You’re doing it. You’re starting over. Living a new life. And you’re going to be okay.
“What’s this?” Dawson says, pointing at a shoebox with a bow wrapped around it.
I open the box and nestled inside pale champagne tissue paper are my shoes. The shoes from my birthday party. The shoes that are still the most beautiful shoes I have ever seen. I remember the joy I felt when I found them. I remember telling Kym we had to find a dress to do them justice.
Then I remember one of the shoes falling off when Vincent was dragging me to the door. I look at the right shoe. See the little scuff across the toe from when I tried to dig my toes into the carpet. I pick up the left shoe. The heel dangles, broken.
These shoes aren’t just beautiful, graceful, and unique. They are also survivors.
Just like me.
I open the card.
I thought you needed to be reunited with footwear that is the real you. -G
I hold the card to my chest and smile.
Just like my shoes, I’m still here.
Cush and I are over. Finished.
Brooklyn and I over. Finished.
I’m starting a new life.
I look at my closet and smile at all the empty racks.
“Dawson, you better get dressed. We have some serious shopping to do.”
I drag Dawson to all my favorite stores and most of the ones on Kym’s list. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t get to them all. I found a gorgeous dress.
All the dresses she picked out were really pretty, but only one had Dawson all hot and bothered. It’s a Valentino dress made of black lace. It has a banded waist with a macramé style, almost sunflower patterned skirt. It’s fitted and short. The top of the dress is asymmetrical, off one shoulder, tied at the top with a small bow. It has a nude colored backing behind the lace, so there is the slight illusion that you are naked and the lace is just there to cover certain body parts.
It’s gorgeous, classy, but still very sexy.
I also really love the Louboutin double platform sandals she picked out to go with it. The heels are so tall, and combined with the short dress, they make my legs look miles long.
“Hey, do you have some more shopping you need to do?” Dawson asks me as I’m paying for the dress.
“I wouldn’t mind shopping a little more before we leave.”
“Okay, good. I thought maybe I’d run and get something. I’ll meet you back here in, say, an hour?”
“Uh, sure. Where are you going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Um, okay. So, I guess I’ll head to the shoe department.”
“I should have known that.”
He gives me a kiss and rushes off.