Why couldn’t he have come home with her? She sucked in a breath, body shaking. She’d said she would say good-bye and go anywhere. She’d be happy, so long as they were together, it didn’t matter where. Here. Earth. Anywhere.
The tears came harder, fatter, and hotter. She could hardly breathe out of her nose. Blue light shimmered in front of her and then she stood face to face with the door.
Alice looked around. The Ferris wheel was gone; the woodshop was gone. She stood in the middle of an empty field.
Heart miserable, she reached out and took hold of the knob. Her foot stood poised above the threshold as the memory of his words to her in the hospital room crowded her mind.
“Everything has beauty,” she said, “but not everyone sees it.” Her stomach hurt, her eyes burned. “I saw you, Hatter.” Her words whispered through the night. “I saw you.”
She walked away.
***
Hatter stood behind the shadow of a tree and watched her walk away; taking the last shreds of his heart with her. She’d lied. Just like the others. Told him she loved him, but she hadn’t. Because Wonderland would have said yes. She’d been perfect. So perfect, his tiny Alice with her piercing eyes and wicked mouth. He trembled, remembering her touch, her tongue.
“I saw you too, Alice.” His words carried like a whisper on the breeze. Wonderland shuddered, the wind sang with a choir of a thousand bells and the ground swayed.
Hatter gripped the tree and horror blanketed his mind. Wonderland said yes, not because of her words, but because of his.
Chapter 12
Alice was gone and his heart bled crimson. Hatter grabbed his temples. She’d not lied when she’d said she loved him. Wonderland accepted her, wanted her. And she’d left them both.
Because of him. He’d not told her the truth, why he couldn’t go with her. Why he could never leave. She’d thought he’d rejected her. He should have told her the truth.
“Damn me,” he pounded his fist on his chair. The sky outside the window rolled with thunder, black clouds bloated with rain drenched the lands. She’d left and it was all his fault.
Frogs dropped from the sky by the thousands, their dying croaks lingering in his ear like a macabre lullaby.
All his fault.
Dueling rams knocked horns, their strikes raged with the sound of thunder. His house shook, but Hatter wouldn’t move. He’d stay and watch as Wonderland ripped herself apart.
He swallowed the bile in his throat.
He should never have kissed her. Touched those soft pink lips, tasted the dew between her thighs. Heat spiraled down his legs, made him weak in the knees and stirred his blood. Gods she’d smelled so good.
Like salt and caramel. His mouth watered, wishing he could taste it again, sink into the mindless oblivion of her beauty.
He was the Mad Hatter; he should have known he could never have a happy ending. He’d never allow it.
“Insane. Stupid. Insane.” He muttered. “And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting on the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon that is dreaming, and the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted nevermore...”
“Hatter.” A golden ball of light materialized before him, the humming flit of wings became an irritating buzz. He swatted at her.
“Damn you,” he snarled, eyeing Danika. “Why did you bring her?”
Her blue eyes grew wide and sparkled with tears. “Oh, Hatter.” She grabbed her chest. “What can I do? I cannot bring another Alice, she’s been found and Wonderland...”
Hatter pounded his fist. Black birds dropped like cannon against his roof, landing in front of his window with unblinking eyes. “I don’t want another! I want her. I want my Alice. My AlicemyAlicemyAlice.”
He grabbed his head, it hurt. It hurt to think of her, he closed his eyes and she was there, but when he opened them she was gone. Gone, gone, gone, and he was lost.
Come to me my, Hatter. The words tore through his skull. He dropped to his knees, heart thundering. “Alice!” he screamed. Come to me my, love. Come to me,tometometome…
“Alice!” Hatter cried. He heard her— she called to him. Wanted him. Needed him, just like before. But there was only blackness, no white clouds, blackness and beeping and his heart tore into a thousand fragments of fear because he tasted her sickness, the bitter nip of cancer spread inside and through his head. “Alice?” he screamed again, but the faint voice did not return.
“I cannot go to her. I cannot find her. Lost to me. Should have told her. Should have said why... She’ll never know...” He rocked, grabbing his chest and moaning loud. Why had he sent her away? Stupid Hatter. Stupid. A dark void swirled in his vision; thoughts crowded his brain sucking him down into a bog of nonsense. He couldn’t go to her. Couldn’t find her.