They stepped outside the workshop and, as Alice knew there would be, a Ferris wheel sat tall and stately, just waiting for them.
He led her to a basket and when they sat, the ride started of its own accord. Lively carnival music filled the woods and it was so perfect. So wonderful she wanted to cry.
Her heart was breaking.
This wasn’t fair.
He hugged her, pulling her to his side. The air was sweet with the scents of night.
“Alice,” his voice shook, “I want you to stay.”
She bit her lip and turned her face into his side. Wonderland had not accepted her. Of that she was positive, there’d been no music, no land shaking-- her stomach churned-- it’d rejected her too.
Then a thought came and she grabbed the lapel of his multi-colored jacket. “Come with me, Hatter. Come back.” He blinked, his eyes went hooded and she didn’t want him to say no. “Not forever,” she rushed on, “just long enough for me to get my life in order. Then we can go anywhere. Anywhere you want. We can be together. I’ll stay here permanently if that’s what you want.”
Already she imagined introducing her crazy boyfriend to her parents, to Tabby, and fought a snicker at the thought. Her conservative parents would flip. Tabby on the other hand would probably love him.
“No.”
She jerked. “What?” Alice drew a blank on her thoughts. “No?”
“No.” His jaw clenched and her stomach dropped like the ride she was on. He couldn’t say no. Hadn’t he just said that he wished she could stay?
“But it’s perfect.” She should stop talking, stop embarrassing herself further, but she had to make him see.
His nostrils flared and he looked away. “I wish...” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Gods,” he moaned, “so many things. So many things, Alice. Please,” and she heard the same desperation in his plea as had been hers, “please stay with me. Don’t go back.”
A lump wedged in her throat. “Hatter, you know I can’t. Not if Wonderland rejects me. Danika told me the ground would rock and the air would sing.” She had no way of knowing if she’d broken it or not, but it didn’t feel like anything monumental had changed. There’d been no songs, no quakes. Which meant another Alice would come.
It was a bleeding wound type of thought.
He shook his head. “It’s over. I don’t care. Let them come, let a million more come. I won’t have them, any of them.” He touched her chin, forcing her to look up at him.
“I just want you, Alice Hu. You. You perfect china doll in the white clouds with that beautiful widow’s peak,” he touched her hair, “and your dainty feet, and bow-shaped lips that utter poetry and make me feel... alive.”
Tears started dripping then.
“I,” she sobbed hard, the tears obscuring his face, “Hatter, what are you doing? You know I can’t. I haven’t been-”
“Dammit!” he snarled. “Always no. Always, always no.”
She shook her head. Couldn’t he see she had nothing to do with this? She couldn’t control this, why couldn’t he understand that? Why was he making it so difficult on her? “Hatter, come. With me. Please.” Her words came between stuttered sobs.
“I can’t.” Two simple words, but they rang with the finality of a death knell.
He pulled his arm out from behind her and Alice couldn’t believe it. Not after last night, this morning, all the heated whispers of love and adoration. He felt something. She knew it. “We still have time. Please don’t do this yet. Please don’t turn away from me. I have responsibilities, but I love you, Hatter. It’s always been you. Please.”
He closed his eyes, the ride stopped and he lifted the gate. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Alice. I will not go and you cannot stay.”
“Stop telling me what I mean,” she snarled, “I’m so sick of you thinking you know me. Thinking you know at all how I feel.”
He didn’t react, but simply said, “love opens the gates, Alice.” His eyes were distant and she knew the truth. It was over.
He stood up and started to walk away, then stopped and came back. She thought maybe he’d changed his mind, her heart leapt and she wiped at the tears running freely down her cheeks. She didn’t know why Wonderland still rejected her, but it wasn’t for lack of love. She burned with it.
He took her hair, slipped it through his fingers and shuddered. “I...” he swallowed and dropped his hand.
Desperate for his touch, unwilling to accept this, she leaned in. It couldn’t be over.
“Goodbye, Alice girl.” Then he turned, head held high, and walked off.
She stood numb, watching the scene unfold with cold detachment; her brain unable to accept the reality of the moment.
What had just happened?
He’d left her.
Why?
She hugged her arms to her body. Her hero. The man who’d saved her life, he’d walked off, never looking back. No kiss. No nothing.