Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)

He slipped his arms around me, and I rested my head on his chest. My bloody tears were making a mess of his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care. We stood there together under the night sky, the stars hidden by streetlights. If this were a movie, it might be the part where the credits started to roll, or perhaps a fade to black that opens on a new, happier scene. Well, fuck Hollywood for pushing that kind of romantic bullshit. There would be no simple wrap up here, no clean and tidy end to our story.

Kale pulled back with obvious reluctance. He cast a glance at the Jeep. “You should probably go so you two have some time together before sunrise. Keep an eye on her for me.”

“Of course.” I nodded, following his gaze to where Jez sat slumped in the Jeep, staring in the opposite direction.

“And one other thing,” Kale said, bringing my gaze back to him. “Don’t punish Arys for this. He’s trying to do what’s best for you both, as should you.”

Ouch. That kinda hurt. I didn’t expect him to throw the ol’ A-bomb around at a time like this, but I understood where he was coming from.

“I know.” I didn’t want to leave. Would it be so wrong to spend the day together? One last time in his bed together? Yes, yes, it would.

As if reading my mind, Kale said, “I wish you could stay, but if you did, I don’t think I’d have the strength to get on that plane.” He kissed me again with a longing that threatened to devour me. “I love you.”

Before either of us could change our minds about everything, he turned and walked away. I watched him go, wanting to chase after him, knowing I couldn’t. Quickly, before I could rethink it, I got into the Jeep. Unable to speak, I motioned for Jez to drive. She regarded me with concerned cat eyes but put the Jeep in gear and hit the gas.

When we left Kale’s neighborhood behind, I lost all control and began to cry with great, heaving sobs. I was scared to death to let him go, afraid the fragile thread connecting us would snap over fourteen-hundred miles.

Kale needed to be free of me. He deserved more. The inner demons that brought us together would never die if we didn’t quit feeding them.

We pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall about halfway to The Wicked Kiss. My sobs had subsided, and my tears had dried up, but my heart was going to hurt for a while.

“What are we doing?” I asked. “I need to get back to the Kiss.”

I did. I was jittery and anguished, in need of the escape I could only find in the kill. I wouldn’t do it at the club. Once I got to my car, I could take off and hunt down some unsuspecting craphead in a shitty neighborhood.

Jez turned off the vehicle and turned to me. “So you can take off and kill something. Right? I know that’s what you want, Alexa, because I want it too. Not the killing things part. The escape. The addiction.”

I met her gaze across the darkened interior. There was a sadness in her lovely green eyes, but they also held serious determination. She was right, and she knew it. And she was also ready to talk, not just about my issues but her own.

“It is,” I agreed. “And you’re right. It’s a hell of an addiction. One I don’t think I’ll ever kick. Not as long as I need it to survive.”

Jez scoffed and leaned over to punch my arm. “You need blood to survive. You don’t need the power trip and the trail of bodies.”

I winced and rubbed the spot she’d hit. “I beg to differ on the power trip part, but I’ll give you the trail of bodies.”

She was quiet for a moment. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully, and I knew this was going to get serious. Once she reached to take my hand, I started to grow worried.

“Lex, I’m having a really hard time kicking the drugs. And honestly, part of me doesn’t even want to.” Jez peered out the window as she spoke. Her hand in mine shook ever so slightly. “I need your help. And you need mine. If we don’t pull each other out of this black hole, we’ll self-destruct. Alone. I don’t want that to happen.”

I didn’t want it to happen either. And it could. It really could. “Me neither,” I said, stroking a thumb over the back of her hand. Her skin was warm. “You’re right. We need to have each other’s backs. I don’t want to be a slave to my desires, and I won’t abandon you with yours. We’ll take care of each other. Somehow.”

Her shoulders slumped as she visibly relaxed. A look of relief passed over her heart-shaped face. “I don’t want to dump my problems on you when you’re still transitioning, but there’s no one else I can share this with.”

“No, you’re not dumping. Don’t think that for a second. Please. I’m glad you told me. I want to be there for you.” I stared at our joined hands. I really loved this girl. So I had to tell her. “Jez, there’s something I need to talk to you about. It’s about that night when you ODed.”

She laughed and let her head fall back against the seat. “Why do I get the feeling this is something I don’t really want to hear?”