Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)

I wanted to go back to the previous day, when we’d made love with wild surrender, when the world outside the door had momentarily ceased to exist. Except that it did exist, and here we were, thrust back into it.

We stood awkwardly in the living room, looking at everything but each other. Finally Kale said what we were both thinking. “We can’t keep doing this, Alexa. We crossed a line in the last twenty-four hours. Several lines actually. We’ve taken things too far.”

It hurt to hear him say it. But he wasn’t wrong. I’d gone off the rails since the turn, embracing the madness that came from a deadly combination of bloodlust and separation from Arys. Running straight into the arms of the man who shared my weaknesses had been a mistake, a beautiful, mind-blowing, spirit-shattering mistake.

“You let him get inside your head, didn’t you?” I asked, dragging my tortured gaze to Kale’s defeated one. “He has a way of doing that.”

I spoke of Arys with detachment, loathe to utter his name. It infuriated me that he’d gotten to Kale. If there was one person I wanted Arys to have no part of, it was Kale. He was mine.

Except he isn’t.

“He doesn’t want to watch you lose your mind. Neither do I.” Turning away, Kale slid his jacket off and draped it over the back of the couch. He seemed to be having trouble maintaining eye contact. “I knew that, if we took it this far, it would be damn near impossible to go back to what we were before, and I did it anyway. Because I can’t fucking resist you. But it’s bad, my love. So bad.”

I mulled over the many thoughts that fought to be the first out of my mouth. All of the ways I wanted to respond felt wrong.

“I know,” I said, sitting heavily on the couch. “It’s bad. But it’s been bad for a while now, Kale. We were never going to be what we once were. It’s too late for that. I know what you’re going to say, but please, don’t leave just because Arys told you to. Don’t let him make choices for you.”

Kale fisted a handful of his short, brown hair and swore. “He offered me a place with Jenner, acting as your second in Vegas.”

“What?” My jaw dropped, and my fists clenched with the sudden need to hit someone.

I hadn’t heard that part of their conversation, having already fled the scene. Arys was so out of line. This time he’d really done it. The onslaught of anger took me from simmering to boiling over.

Unable to contain it, an explosion of red-hot emotion poured from me. Rather than flow into the surrounding environment, it traveled that direct link to Arys and hit him like a speeding bullet.

I felt the impact, felt him take the hit, and found grim satisfaction in the pain it caused. For a moment the mental door between us was open, and I braced for either a retaliation or an explanation. I received neither.

Arys merely took the assault, knowing what brought on such a vicious outburst. I could feel him inside his small house, secluded from the sun. In that brief moment inside his head, I caught a glimpse of the hell he’d been going through. I remembered that I didn’t suffer alone. The separation was breaking him down too.

I could feel him waiting, but for what I didn’t know. Another attack. A mental tirade. Arys was so calm and willing to take whatever I threw at him. Unable to deal with that reaction from him, I slammed the door between us, shutting him out once again.

My hands shook, and white noise rushed in my ears. The lights flickered. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on containing the excessive force threatening to tear apart my insides. The frat house had been too much too soon.

“Alexa, look at me.” Kale sank to his knees on the carpet in front of me and took my quaking hands in his. “Ground the energy. Come on, you know how to do this. Probably better than I do. Just let it go.”

The power arced from me to Kale, seeking to draw him in as well. Unable to resist my thrall, I felt him begin to fall under my spell. With a frustrated growl, I sought out the earth, letting my wolf’s link to it guide me.

With great effort I aligned my energy with that of the earth. Then with everything I had, I pushed the excess force into the earth. It accepted my offering, bringing me back to a state of balance. I opened my eyes to find Kale staring at me with something like relief and sorrow.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You don’t deserve the hell I’ve put you through. If you want to take off, I don’t blame you for that. But don’t feel like you have to go to Vegas. Don’t let anyone make that choice for you.”

Kale sighed and lightly bumped my chin with a finger. “I haven’t been fair to you. Punishing you for saving me was selfish and cowardly. I acted out because I couldn’t stand that we couldn’t be together. But I understand why now. We bring out the worst in each other. So maybe it’s better that I go, for a while. I’ll be your eyes and ears in Las Vegas. I will still be part of you, just at a safe distance.”