Chapter 21
We finally arrived back in New York, and Denny was waiting for us at the airport. I grabbed our bags as Ellery ran to Denny and gave him a hug. It made me really happy to see the two of them get along so well. I told Ellery that I had arranged for Peyton to come over around 7:00 pm under false pretenses. I didn’t tell Peyton that Ellery was coming back with me; I wanted her to be surprised. I took our bags up to my room while Ellery went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. I set our bags on the floor and heard Ellery gasp as she stood in the doorway. I had forgotten that she had only been in my bedroom once, and that was when she brought my drunken ass home from the club. At first, I couldn’t figure out why she stood there with a shocked look on her face, but then I saw her look around the room and at the paintings that hung on my wall.
“You were the one who bought my paintings?” she asked.
“Please tell me that you aren’t mad,” I said as I held my hands up.
“I’m not mad; I just want to know why,” she asked softly.
“Look at them, Elle. They’re beautiful. It was my way of being close to you when you weren’t around.” I was afraid she was going to be angry with me, but she wasn’t. She walked over to me and hugged me tight, thanking me and telling me how much it meant to her.
She walked over to my bed and slightly giggled.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“I was just remembering the night you were passed out on this bed, and I was straddled over you, taking off your clothes.”
I smiled as I laid myself on the bed and spread out.
“What are you doing?” she laughed.
“I don’t remember you doing that, and I want to, so I thought you could reenact it for me.”
Ellery bit her bottom lip as she pulled her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor.
“Um, I don’t think you did that,” I smiled.
“No, I didn’t, but I’m going to make it a little more interesting this time.” I watched her as she unbuttoned her pants and took them off, throwing them on top of her shirt. She straddled me and slowly started unbuttoning my shirt. This was definitely not the way she helped me that night because I would have remembered it. “F*ck it; I need you now,” I said as I rolled her off me and quickly got on top.
***
Later that night, Ellery was snuggled against me with her arm around my waist. She must have had a late night with Peyton because I didn’t hear her come to bed. I reached over and lightly kissed her on the head before carefully sliding out of bed. I had an early meeting to attend in order to finalize the acquisition of the Chicago building. After I showered and got dressed, I emerged from the bathroom and saw Ellery laying there, staring at me. I smiled as I walked over to her.
“You need to go back to sleep, my love. It’s way too early for you to be up,” I said as I stroked her hair.
“I rolled over, and your side of the bed was empty; I didn’t like it,” she pouted.
“I’m sorry, baby, but I have a meeting first thing this morning.”
“I know, and I’ll miss you while you’re gone. I hate being apart from you.”
“Let’s meet for lunch and do some shopping. I’ll have Denny pick you up around noon,” I said as I brushed my lips against hers.
“That sounds good; I can’t wait,” she said as a smile spread across her face.
I couldn’t resist her smile, and I hated leaving her. I looked at the clock, and I had 15 minutes before I had to leave. I unbuttoned my pants and took them off.
“What are you doing?” Ellery smiled.
“Getting ready to have sex with you, but I only have about 15 minutes, so we have to be quick,” I said as I took off my shirt.
“Hurry up and get that fine ass of yours in here,” she said as she patted my side of the bed.
Needless to say, I was late for my meeting.
***
The purchase of the Chicago building was finalized, and I was a happy man. Everything in my life at the moment was perfect. I missed Ellery, so I decided to have Denny pick me up before her. He pulled up to the building, and Ellery was waiting outside. She looked amazing standing there in black leggings, a long black sweater, and black high boots. She’s perfection, and she’s mine. Denny got out and opened the door for her. She slid in the seat and smiled when she saw me. I reached over and kissed her on the lips.
“Hey, baby, you look gorgeous,” I smiled.
“I thought we were meeting at your office,” she said.
“I missed you, and I couldn’t wait.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck as she kissed me. “I’m happy you’re here now because I couldn’t last another minute without you.”
As we were on our way to lunch, my phone rang. I pulled it out from my pocket, and it was Ashlyn.
I ignored the call and put my phone back in my pocket. Why the hell is she calling me?
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Ellery asked.
“No, it’s just Paul. We’re almost at the restaurant, so I’ll call him later.”
We had a great lunch and enjoyed some shopping afterwards. I bought Ellery some new clothes, and being the stubborn woman that she is, she tried to put up a fight when I paid for them, but I won that battle. We left the store and headed down the crowded street to a nearby Starbucks. We were walking hand in hand when I ran into Sarah.
“Hello, Connor. How are you?” she asked as she cocked her head.
“Sarah, I’m good. How have you been?” I nervously asked.
She eyed Ellery up and down, and her eyes instantly looked at our interlaced fingers. Sarah extended her hand to Ellery.
“Hi, I’m Sarah, a family friend of Connor’s,” she smiled.
“Hello, I’m Ellery, Connor’s girlfriend.”
Sarah looked at me for a moment and then again at Ellery. “Well it was nice seeing you again, Connor, and it was wonderful to meet you, Ellery,” she said. Sarah leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “She’s perfect for you.” She kissed me on the cheek, winked, and walked away. I let out a sigh of relief and squeezed Ellery’s hand. We started to walk, but Ellery abruptly stopped behind me.
I turned around and looked at her.
“I don’t ever want to know what you did with her or who she was to you,” she said.
“Ellery, she’s…” I started to say.
“Connor, she’s a family friend,” she smiled as she led me through the doors of Starbucks.
***
Thanksgiving had arrived, and we spent the day with my family. It was good to bring Ellery to the home I grew up in, and to meet my family. My mom and dad took to her immediately, as did my sister.
I didn’t know how to bring up Ellery’s illness. I was going to wait until after Thanksgiving when it was just my mom, dad, and Cassidy, but I didn’t have to wait thanks to Aunt Sadie. My mom always said that Aunt Sadie was born with a gift. I never believed it, and I just chalked it up to her being crazy. I walked in the entrance of the kitchen, and I overheard Aunt Sadie grilling Ellery about her cancer. Ellery was trying to explain to them about her first time when she was 16. She was very nervous. I felt bad for her, and it was my fault. If I would have told my family about it in the first place, Ellery wouldn’t be in this position.
I cleared my throat and walked over to Ellery. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her on the head. “Her cancer came back recently, but she’s in a clinical trial in California, so everything is good at the moment. She’s doing fine, and she’s going to be fine, so there’s nothing more to discuss,” I said in an authoritative tone. Ellery pulled me out of the kitchen and into the hallway.
“How could you not tell me about your Aunt Sadie?” she asked furiously as she hit me in the chest.
“Ouch, Elle, that hurt.”
“That’s not the only thing that’s going to hurt, Connor Black.”
“Promise, baby?” I smirked.
“Ugh, you make me so mad!” she whispered as she turned the opposite way.
I wrapped my arms around her and whispered, “I’m sorry; I never took much stock in what Aunt Sadie had to say. I always thought she was kind of crazy.”
“Your family must think I’m a walking disaster of a human being, and they are probably wondering what the hell you’re doing with me.”
I squeezed her tight. “They love you; I can tell, and it doesn’t matter what they think about our relationship. I love you for all that you are, nothing less, and for the record, I think you’re a beautiful disaster.”
She laid her head back on my chest and looked up as I leaned down to kiss her. She bit my lip.
“That’s for the ‘beautiful disaster’ remark,” she said.
“Ouch, you really need to save this shit for the bedroom, Ellery; you have no idea how much you’re turning me on with all your hitting and biting.” She laughed, turned around, and licked my lip to soothe the sting.
Dinner was exceptional, and our family conversation was good. Ellery spent a great deal of time talking to my mother and Cassidy. Camden came up to me, took my hand, and led me to the floor to build blocks with him. All of a sudden, I heard my mom ask Ellery how we met. Panic washed over me as I feared Ellery would tell her about getting me home that night. I looked at her, and she gave me a smile that assured me that she wouldn’t tell. She told my mom that we met at a club. Ellery sat down on the floor next to me and Camden, and asked if she could help stack the blocks. Camden picked one up and handed it to her. Watching her interact with him told me she would make a wonderful mother.
How and when was I going to tell her that I can’t have kids?
When it was time to leave, we said our goodbyes to my family and started on the road back home.
“I love your family,” Ellery said as she grabbed my hand.
“They loved you too,” I smiled as I brought her hand to my lips.
“Do you really think so?” she asked nervously.
“Baby, I don’t think; I know.” She smiled as she laid her head on my shoulder.
***
Ellery was in the bathroom, washing her face as I was getting undressed. “I loved watching you with Camden today; it was so special and sweet.”
“Yeah, well he’s a pretty special kid,” I smiled.
“Watching you with him made me think of some things,” she said as she walked out of the bathroom and opened the dresser drawer for a nightshirt.
“What things?” I asked hesitantly.
“I don’t know; just how good you are with him and…”
I knew this was going to happen, and I tried to prepare myself ahead of time. I guess this was the time to tell her. I instantly cut her off. “I can’t have children, Elle; I took care of that many years ago.”
Her back was turned to me as she opened the drawer. The minute I spoke those words, she stopped what she was doing, and I saw her take a deep breath.
“Aren’t you going to respond to that?” I asked.
“Ok, why didn’t you tell me that before?” she asked as she turned around and looked at me.
“I don’t know, Elle. It just didn’t seem to ever be appropriate.”
“Was it because you thought I was going to die, and it didn’t matter if I never knew?” she spoke with pain in her voice.
I instantly felt sick at her words. “How could you say that?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, and anyway, I don’t want kids. With my f*cked up family genes the kid wouldn’t stand a chance,” she said as she turned and faced the window.
I closed my eyes for a second as she said that. It broke my heart for her to think that way. I walked over and put my arms around her, pulling her into me. “Don’t say things like that.”
“It’s the truth. My mother died of cancer, father was an alcoholic, and now me having cancer for the second time; think about it, Connor, the child would be doomed from the minute it was conceived.”
“You’re wrong, and I don’t want you talking like that ever again,” I said with anger.
She loosened herself from my grip. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway because neither of us wants kids, so end of discussion.” I watched her as she walked over to the dresser across the room and grabbed the bottle of lotion.
“Does it bother you that I can’t have children?” I asked.
“No, and like I said, it’s for the best anyway, but I would like to know why you did it, Connor.”
I took in a sharp breath, “Do you really want to hear the answer to that, Elle?”
“Yes, I do, since we’re being honest and not keeping secrets.”
I swallowed hard because I was about to relive what I had already told her back in Michigan. Then all of a sudden, before I could get the words out of my mouth, Ellery spoke.
“Since you can’t say anything, let me say it for you. You were never going to fall in love, and that meant never having kids. So, why torture yourself with only experiencing half the pleasure every time you f*cked a woman when you could experience the whole natural pleasure and not have a worry in the world, except being ignorant about STD’s.”
My face fell, and anger grew inside of me. “I’m not even going to respond to something as f*cked up as that!” I yelled. “You’re pissed that I can’t have kids? Aren’t you the one who said she doesn’t believe in happily ever after and fairytale romances?!” I yelled at her across the room. She walked over to where her pants were and started to put them on.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” I yelled.
“I’m not staying here tonight; you’re a dick, and I don’t want to be near you right now.”
“I’m a dick?” I laughed. I can’t believe she thought I was being a dick when she started this argument.
“You’re the one being a bitch and overreacting about me not being able to have kids.”
“I’m a bitch because you didn’t tell me about this sooner?!” she yelled back.
Anger and darkness consumed me. “You really want to go there, Ellery, about not telling each other things?”
“I regretted that from day one, and you know it!” she yelled. “How dare you throw that in my face?!”
“Then, I guess we’re even!” I yelled. I was so angry at her for what she said. I needed some space to cool off. “Maybe it’s best you stay in the guest room tonight, till we both cool off.”
“I’m not staying in the guest room; I’m going home to my apartment that you so graciously call a box,” she said as she pointed her finger at me.
“Really, Ellery, you’re going to run?” I said as I waved my hand. “Why not; it’s what you do best anyway.”
She stormed out of the bedroom, and I just stood there. I didn’t go after her. She needed some time to cool off, and so did I. How could such a perfect day turn into such a nightmare? I let her go back to her apartment to sleep it off. I’ll head over there in the morning to get her and make things right.
***
The next morning, I showered, got dressed, and headed over to Ellery’s apartment. I didn’t sleep all night because she wasn’t next to me, and I missed her. I knocked on her door, but there was no answer. I continued to knock, and still no answer. Either she wasn’t home or she was ignoring me. I went back to the penthouse, thinking maybe she would show up there to apologize. As I stepped out of the elevator, I noticed her keys sitting on the table in the hall. She left her keys here which meant she didn’t go back to her apartment. Worry began to settle inside me. I grabbed my phone, sent her a text and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. Now I was really pissed that she knew she didn’t have her keys, and yet she didn’t come back here.
“Where the hell are you?! I went to your apartment, and you weren’t there.”
“It’s none of your business where I am; remember I’m just doing what I do best,” she responded quickly.
“You are behaving like a child, and I don’t like it; now get your ass back to my penthouse.”
“I think we need time apart to think about what each of us said last night.”
I read her text, and it hurt me to know that she wanted time away from me. She was acting like a selfish brat. Maybe she’s right. She needs to know that how she behaved last night was unacceptable.
So I sent her the following reply: “I agree, and when you stop behaving like a selfish child, call me so we can talk like adults.”
She didn’t respond after that. I closed my eyes to try and stop the tears from falling. I slammed my fists down on the dresser and walked downstairs to the kitchen.
“Good morning, Connor. Will you and Ellery be having breakfast together this morning?” Claire asked.
“Ellery isn’t here, so the answer is no,” I snapped.
“Whoa, Connor, calm down,” Denny said as he walked towards me.
I ran my hand through my hair. “Claire, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me,” I begged.
“It’s ok, Connor. Don’t worry about it,” she smiled.
“What the hell happened between the two of you now?” Denny asked as he handed me a cup of coffee.
“I told her last night that I can’t have kids, and she didn’t take it very well. We both said some pretty bad things to each other. F*ck, Denny, I love her so damn much. Why is this so hard?”
“Nobody said love is easy,” he smiled.
I shook my head and walked out of the kitchen. I hated not knowing where she was. She said she thought it was best to spend some time apart. If that’s what she wants, then I’ll respect her wishes.
When she’s ready to come back, she’ll let me know.