He looked out the window, as if he was remembering a long-ago event. “I was in Iraq. A few players go in the off-season. Just to hang with the troops. Help morale. That kind of thing. We were all assigned a soldier to keep us out of trouble. Keith was mine. We traveled all around the country, to the different bases. We bunked together, got shot at a few times. He saved my ass.”
Raoul rubbed his hands over his face. “That last day, we were heading for the airport. It was a big convoy. The players, a few VIPs, some politicians. There was an ambush. IEDs in the road, a couple of snipers in the hills. Keith was shot.” He shook his head. “I held him while he died. He couldn’t talk, couldn’t do anything but gasp for air. And then he was gone.”
She sank back into her chair. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know.” Crystal hadn’t known, either.
“Reinforcements came and they helped us get home. When I got the invitation to the golf tournament, I came here. I guess to pay my respects to a place Keith had loved. I liked it, so I stayed.”
Pia hadn’t thought there would be any more surprises, but she’d been wrong.
He crouched in front of her. “I wanted to talk to Crystal, but I didn’t know what to say. I knew her husband all of two weeks and I was there when he died. Would that have comforted her?”
She felt his pain and lightly touched his shoulder. “The man she loved had died. I don’t think there was any comfort to be had.”
“I wondered if I’d taken the easy way out. I didn’t want to intrude or get involved.” He smiled faintly. “Now you’re responsible for Keith and Crystal’s babies.”
“Don’t remind me.”
He returned to his chair and stared at her. “You okay?”
“Trying to recover from the latest bombshell.” She winced. “Sorry. Bad word choice. Hearing that you knew Keith, that you were there when he died, feels oddly cosmic. Like the universe wants to make sure I have these babies.”
“You’re reading too much into it.”
“Am I? Don’t you think it’s just a little strange that we’re even having this conversation?”
“No. I moved to town because I met Keith. If he hadn’t been assigned to me, I never would have agreed to do the golf tournament and I wouldn’t be here, having this conversation with you.”
He made sense, but Pia still felt as if she was being pushed into a decision she wasn’t ready to make.
There was so much on the line. The three embryos meant she could have triplets. That was three babies. She had a tiny apartment. How could they all fit?
She grasped the water and held on as if the act of squeezing would prevent her from slipping over the edge. But after hearing about Raoul and Keith, even questioning the act of having the children seemed monumentally selfish.
“You don’t have to decide today,” he reminded her. “Or even this year.”
“I suppose. When I start to freak, I tell myself that I’m focusing on the wrong thing. This isn’t about me. It’s about Crystal and Keith and their children. Who am I to question whether or not I should have their children? Doesn’t that make me a bad person? Shouldn’t I already be on the hormones, buying cribs and reading that Expecting book everyone says is so great? If I was a good person, I wouldn’t be hesitating.”
Raoul stared into Pia’s hazel eyes, amazed by the kaleidoscope of emotions. She was possibly one of the most honest people he’d ever met. Crazy, but honest. Appealing, as well, but thinking she was hot wasn’t exactly appropriate.
Slowly, he took the water from her hands and set it on the table. Then he pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her.
“It’s okay,” he told her.
She stood rigid in his embrace. “No, it’s not.”
He continued to hold on, moving one hand up and down her spine, enjoying the feel of her body next to his. Not that he was going to do anything about it. “Take a deep breath. In and out. Come on. Breathe.”
She did as he requested. A little of the tension eased out of her.
He couldn’t begin to imagine what she was going through. He was thrown by the fact that he’d known Crystal’s husband. For her, the connection was a thousand times more powerful.
Moving his hands to her shoulders, he stepped back far enough to see her face.
“You’re not a bad person,” he said firmly. “A bad person would walk away from the embryos without a second thought. As to taking your time to make the decision, why wouldn’t you? Having Crystal’s babies will change everything about your life. You’re allowed to have a plan.”
“But she’s my friend. I should…”
He shook his head. “No. Crystal didn’t give you a head’s up. This was dumped on you, Pia. Give yourself a break.”
She drew in another breath. “Okay. Maybe.”