Mac put a restraining hand on his arm. “Get it together, man. If you tear my truck apart, we’ll never make it there.”
He took some deep breaths, trying to bring his emotions under control. He laid his head back against the seat, running an unsteady hand through his hair. “I was going to break up with her tonight,” he said quietly. “I was going to push the best thing that ever happened to me away and turn my back on her. I stayed out of town a couple of extra days because I didn’t trust myself. I thought the extra time away from her would help me to do what needed to be done.” Pulling his hair at the roots, trying to use the pain to center himself, he continued, “I am a coward. I couldn’t stand to lose someone else like I did Craig. The thought of letting her go has been eating me alive, but I was still going to do it. I was going to take her to dinner, probably make love to her because I wouldn’t be able to stop myself, and then give her some version of the it’s not you, it’s me talk.”
“Dec, stop. Just don’t go there.”
Before he could respond, Mac was pulling up to the doors of the emergency room. Without waiting for the truck to come to a complete stop, Declan jumped out his door and bolted into hospital and to the reception desk. “Ella Webber, where is she?”
The woman behind the desk looked up with an annoyed expression on her face. “Excuse me, sir?”
“Ella Webber,” he growled. “She was brought in a few hours ago. Where is she?”
“Declan?” He whirled around to find Julie standing before him, obviously on duty. He’d forgotten that she worked at this hospital. He reached out to her like a lifeline.
“Ellie’s here somewhere. Damn it, please, please find out what’s going on.”
Julie was already running toward the doors to the nurses’ station as she yelled over her shoulder, “Webber, right?”
He was pacing the floor, not so patiently waiting, when Mac walked in. “What do we know?”
“Not a f**king thing,” he snapped. Just as he turned to go back to the reception desk, a much more subdued Julie walked back toward him. “What?” He didn’t realize that his voice had now taken on a pleading tone.
She took his arm and pulled him over to a sitting area in the corner. “I’m just going to give this to you straight, okay?”
“Yeah, shit, give it to me.”
She took his hand, holding it firmly while looking him dead center in the eyes. “It’s bad, Declan. She has internal bleeding that they believe is coming from a ruptured spleen. Her pelvis is fractured and her shoulder is dislocated. On top of that, she is pretty banged up.”
He jumped to his feet, “I need to see her.”
Julie came up with him, holding him back. “You can’t right now. They’re prepping her for surgery.”
He was pushing Julie aside, determined to get to Ella before Mac grabbed him. He swung around, full of pain and anguish. “Take your f**king hands off of me, man. I’ve got to get to her. I have to help her.”
“Dec, you’re not going to help that girl if you barge back there and cause a commotion. You need to let them do their job.”
“I . . . I need to see her. She doesn’t know. What if something happens to her and she never knows?”
Both Mac and Julie looked confused. “Brother, what are you talking about?”
A single tear ran down his face as he whispered, “I love her. She doesn’t know that I love her. She’s my f**king life. I’ll never live through it if my Ellie doesn’t make it. I wouldn’t want to.”
Julie stepped forward, a determined look on her face. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to try to get you back there for a minute while she is wheeled down to the operating room. You have to leave when I tell you or we will both be escorted out of here by the police.”