CHAPTER SEVEN
I deliberately adorned my favorite black bikini the moment I saw Zane begin swimming laps. After yesterday morning, he avoided me like the plague, even skipped dinner to go out and didn’t come back until most of us were asleep. After skipping breakfast with us, I was lucky to find him swimming, but he’s barely come up for breath.
For once, avoidance isn’t fun.
I just want a chance to apologize. I was hoping he would see my ulterior motives, but he left and he didn’t look back, so I know he’s not going to forgive me easily and I don’t know if I can fight this time around. My bid at protecting him only landed me in hotter water than before, and the way I’m feeling, I’m not sure I can be the one who fights for us. Not if it’ll end with me flat on my ass watching him walk away from the small progress we had made.
A part of me wants to believe it’s because he’s playing his role in this shoddy plan I threw together on the spot, but how can that be when he doesn’t even know the plan? I can only pray my misery is one that is short-lived because I want to go back to that afterglow we created; the one where it was just blissful and calm and there were no weights on my shoulders. However, since he left the grand room after that confrontation with my father, the dread in me has only been blackening as every minute passes. The longer I remain silent with him on the matter, the worse the trepidation becomes.
I shift on my towel, positioning my body so it looks most appealing. The black bikini itself is lacking in material, held together with delicate string details and the only covering is to keep some modesty but doesn’t leave much to the imagination. The color really draws out the tan that Italy gifted me with, and I feel as if the sensuality could actually be pouring from me. I just hope that it’s enough to make him look at me, but Zane is so involved, he barely breaks a stride as he moves agilely through the water, let alone looks at me.
Falling back, I watch from my sun lounger, sunglasses hiding the fact that my sole attention is on him, and watch as he glides through the water like a majestic animal. The water glides over his fit, tanned body in beautiful rivers of blue waves. He moves so elegantly through the water, it's truly mesmerizing and as I feel the wetness pool in my bikini bottoms, I find myself itching to feel his touch. I want that full consumption he made me feel. I want him to devour me like he used to. But I can't have any of it. I signed that horrible deal myself.
"Stop staring, sweetheart," Zane shouts as he stops at the far end, holding onto the edge. He clears water from his face as he turns to looks over at me. He pulls himself up, lounging against the wall of the pool, arms spread out along the marbled flooring that surrounds the water. "As you said yourself, we aren’t anything.”
“I didn’t say that.” I’m quick to defend.
“So I paraphrased,” he comments turning his back to me and pulling himself from the water. The water rushes off him, leaving him a glistening beauty in the midday sun. “Sue me.”
“Look, I know it looked bad, but you have to see this all from my point of view.” I struggle not to get irate with him because I know shouting at him will do nothing but cause him to throw up all defenses. “I have to lie,” I say, and he scoffs. “I have to say and do things I’m not proud of, nor do I mean, to appease men like my father. Because, had you not noticed, Zane, I live in a world where they don’t care much. My failure to kill you is something that has caused a lot of doubt in me, and yes, I will admit I am not the person I put on show, but you’ve proven that clearly I’m better at my disguise than I thought.”
“I don’t know what to believe around you, Amelia,” Zane states. The tension he emits shows as the muscles of his throat begin to tighten, his jaw clenches, and he looks fit to burst with inner frustration. “One minute you want me to take you, the next we’re just lying together as if nothing in the world matters and the next it’s all got to be kept secret. Top that with the fact you told a room full of your family and Lorenzo, might I add, that you’re just in it for the sex and you want me to feel pain like you did because of me.” His face begins to redden; those beautiful eyes of his twist and watch with such anger. “Well, guess what, Amelia? You managed it. I have never been more humiliated or hurt than I was last night after having bled myself dry to you.” All of a sudden, his posture falls with defeat. “I might have broken your heart twice, but you’re just showing to me that maybe this isn’t ever going to work.”