I’m angry that he’s allowed this to happen, that I fell into this trap, and that I ever came home! While in Italy, at least, there was some sense of ignorance to this life. As much as I missed my brothers, I didn’t have to concern myself with seeing the man who held my heart captive.
I can hear everyone talking and enjoying themselves, but I can’t bring myself to sit and be jolly. It’s not possible for me to accept that everything’s okay, so I leave them be and retrace my steps until I’m heading straight for the veranda. I go down to the pool. I pace past the cabanas and large loungers, mumbling incoherently to myself. This is not what I wanted to come home to. Giovanni was testing my limits as it was, but now, this is my limits exceeded and I’m left in unchartered waters. How do I survive working with him? I’m barely surviving with my heart in tatters, having to see him is only going to make the ruins within me all the more palpable. How am I ever to come out of this alive?
Despair wracks me as I still on one spot, but I barely have time to register as Giovanni storms toward me and grabs me. My body is flung from the pool edge until it's hitting the water's surface in brute force. The initial slap burns, but as I sink beneath its surface, I realize I'm in trouble. I kick my feet, searching for the surface and just as I find it, I'm dragged under again.
This time at Giovanni's will.
He holds me under and I find myself unable to claw my way out of this predicament. He holds me down so violently. Every time I fight for the valuable air above the surface, he steals it away by pushing me further under. I feel myself flailing in his grasp, kicking up a frenzy in the pool.
I never realized how strong Giovanni was until he’s using all of his weight to bear down and keep me from getting fresh air. The more I struggle with his strength, the more I begin to tire. My chest is beginning to burn with lack of oxygen, my muscles are weakening, and my kicking is slacking. I can feel the darkness beginning to encroach, and just as my eyes begin to close, Giovanni’s weight is gone and I’m being dragged back to the surface. I can hear muffled yelling; my ears now full of water. As I’m pulled from the water, I begin to cough up all the water I accidently swallowed. The notion has my lungs scorched and burning with considerable pain. When I look at the water, I see Manuel in the water and cannot feel increasingly proud of my baby brother.
As Enzo pulls me further away from the pool edge, I turn myself over, still coughing. I'm on my hands and knees, coughing up a fucking lung just so I can clear my chest and all because Giovanni decided today was a fine day to try to kill me. I look up, my hair dripping wet and hanging in soaking clumps around my face.
"What the actual fuck?!" I exclaim in among my breathlessness as Giovanni pulls himself from the pool surrounded by an angry bunch of Italians. I collapse onto my side, Enzo still rubbing circles on my back.
“I’m surprised you have to fucking ask!” he bellows at me, his face reddening as he gets angrier. "It's all your fault that Zane is here! He's here to be one of us so he can get in your panties! You are always going to be the reason this family fails."
“Is that why Zane is here?” Enzo asks, and I feel myself harden with shock.
“You knew?” I asked, looking in horror at my brother. “You fucking knew he was here and decided not to tell me that one really important piece of information?” I shrug him off, and I feel all eyes on me all at once. I push myself up and away from Enzo’s embrace.
“He reached out to me, Lia,” Enzo begins, trying to defuse my mounting hurt and anger. “Don’t hate me for not stopping you from seeing him. You needed to. I will stick by that. Be angry with me all you like, but I saw how he got you when you were together.”
“But you didn’t see how he broke my heart again,” I say, and I feel my eyes water. I’m hoping I can pass this off as my dance with death, but I know Enzo will have me pegged. “You don’t get to play with my life like that!” I say and I bow my head. What the fuck is happening with my family? I feel my head begin to swirl at a dizzying pace.
“Lia,” Enzo says reaching for me.
“Don’t touch me!” I shout at him, jumping away from him. “I’m the one blamed for this family becoming corrupt, yet you let him walk into this family and want a part of it! A man who I was supposed to kill and you let him walk in here like he can ever be one of us.”
“He can be,” Carlo steps in, defending their actions. “He killed one of the security details to get a final meeting with Papà. He couldn’t ignore it when Zane used force.”
“Then he’s a stupid bastard,” I mutter and start to move so I can get up onto my feet. My flight or fight defense has gone into overdrive.