Zane’s lips pull into a delicate smile, the corners barely tugging, but he grabs my hands. “I’m not going anywhere.”
There’s a deliberate silence and I’ve come to find I hate them the most. They’re poison for the soul. Silences do nothing but allow demons – old and new – to clamber their way to the surface of your barely beating heart
“You know, when I woke up in my father’s office, I could only wonder if, after everything, that was how I was going to die. But the thought didn’t last long because when my entire life flashed before my eyes, I saw you, Zane. You consume me and I didn't realize the extent of that until then. And I really wanted you to come and save me, and you did." I sniff again, reaching out for his hand as it sits beside mine. "I opened my eyes and my every wish came true. I didn’t care about anything else but seeing you one last time." I look at him, feeling my eyes stare as my nostrils flare to halt another influx of unforgiveable tears. “How selfish is that? I witnessed my brother get hurt, and I knew another was hurt, but all I could wish for was you. What type of person does that make me?”
“A very human one,” he counters, leaning in to wipe away my tears for me. “When I was shot, I just wished for every second to bring you closer to me, and when I woke up in that hospital, there you were. Against all odds, you risked everything for me. The reason I came back was because every step of our round two, you only ever loved me, Amelia. I was blindsided, but I vow to never let that happen again. And when I could feel you dying, I vowed to myself that I would only ever love you. I would give you everything in this world to prove that you deserve to live and I deserve a chance to show you that I only ever loved you. No more chances, just this one. That’s all I need now. There is no issue with your family breaking us up, or what you have to do, or my better judgment. This life isn’t worth living if I don’t have you to live it with. I’ve tried too many times and it never gets easier. You’re everything I need to live a perfect life.”
I hiccup on a sob, managing to cut its life short, but as the words of my doctor come back to haunt me, I don’t know how much of this I’ll be able to keep on lockdown. “Am I enough for you, though?” I ask him, my tone falls an octave, as I fear the response he could deliver. “Whatever happens, am I enough to keep you happy?”
“Amelia,” Zane begins to say, his voice soft as confusion weaves across every inch of his face. “What’s brought this on?”
I open my mouth, ready to form the words, but instead, a suffocating lump forms, so evident I have to swallow hard to dislodge it. He’s already been through so much because of me, how do I dare worsen that for him? I don’t want this burden to become his. This isn’t the type of sorry future I want him to promise himself to. The worst part is that I selfishly don’t want to tell him because of the fear of losing him. I don’t know how to function without Zane because, right now, he is the only constant in my life.
“Everything,” I whisper, discreetly closing the news away and glazing over it.
“Amelia, has something else happened?” he asks, and I shake my head. “I know when you’re lying to me, sweetheart. I know you’re keeping something from me.”
“I’m not,” I admonish, my tone curt with him. “I don’t know when I’m going to feel okay with life and I worry that by feeling like this you’ll grow bored of waiting for me to heal.” I look away, a tear abandoning me. “I’m scared you won’t want a girl who’s as broken as I am right now.”
“You may be broken, but I love every shard of you, Amelia. I always have and this isn’t going to make me shy away from that. I loved the broken girl you thought you were before, and right now, I’ve never loved her more.” He leans in, rubbing yet more tears away. “And I will tell you every day just how much I believe in that.” His lips curl into a small, honest grin, one that lightens his eyes. “When we’re building a life together, making our happy ending happen, I will make sure that you know that I only ever want to fix you. In years to come, when we have a happy home and a big, happy family surrounding us, I will remind you of the moment you worried over it.”