I stared at him, dumbfounded. “What?”
“I’m not going anywhere until you’ve dealt with Lilah. I’m your wolf, and I’ll back you with her and with the FPA. Then I’ll go. Just until I can clean myself up. Be me again, you know?”
Shocked was one way of putting what I felt. “Where will you go?”
Reaching to stroke a hand down the side of my face, Shaz shook his head. “I don’t know yet. I think I need to be wolf for a while.”
I had longed to run away on four legs and leave the world behind, but I hadn’t done it. Now, Shaz was going to leave me, and the thought cut deep. I couldn’t be selfish; I had to let him go.
“Then you should do what you need to do.” The words didn’t come easy. I wanted to sink to my knees and stare numbly at nothing while I fell apart inside.
Every time I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did, but I had no time to fall to pieces. I had to confront my sister and whoever else would be at the FPA to greet me, so I took a deep breath and held myself together.
Shaz pulled me into his arms and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I was stiff in his embrace, afraid to sink into him the way I longed to. Would he ever feel like mine again?
“I guess we should go,” he said somberly. “Everyone is waiting.”
“You’re coming with us?”
“I told you, I’ll be at your side through this. I know part of you must hate me right now, but I love you, Lex. Nothing on this earth could ever change that.” He gave me another kiss before releasing me. His lips were warm against my temple.
I caught his hand for just a second, squeezing it affectionately. “I hopelessly adore you. Despite everything.”
“I know.” He sounded so defeated.
I owed him the same devotion and forgiveness he had shown me when I didn’t deserve it. With a steady hand but a shaky voice, I said, “We’ll be ok.”
Chapter Twenty
“This is it,” Brogan announced. “I’m sure of it.”
The cross hummed in agreement in my hands. The five of us were piled into my Charger, sitting outside the abandoned Charles Camsell Hospital in the northwest side of the city. The hospital was at the center of several ghost stories and tales of horror told by the locals, stories I had dismissed in the light of day. Now that I was sitting outside the building in the dark feeling the sinister vibe rolling off the place, I was forming a newfound respect for it.
“A scary old mental hospital?” Jez was aghast. “Oh hell no.”
“This place gives me the creeps,” Shaz murmured, his gaze fixed on the crumbling structure.
The sensation of being watched by several sets of eyes hidden within the building got my skin crawling. It had once been an aboriginal tuberculosis sanatorium with a reputation for vile acts and cruel experiments. Most of the ground floor windows were boarded up. A fence wound the perimeter of the property, but it was open in several places, hardly anything that would keep anyone out.
Graffiti covered the walls and fence. Everything from gang names to satanic symbols decorated the place. It did nothing to ease the foreboding look and feel of the hospital. I so did not want to go in there.
“Why the hell would the FPA want to set up shop in there?” I wondered aloud.
“Simple,” Arys spoke up. “Who would ever dare to bother them here? Other than you, of course.”
“Of course.”
The hospital was huge, seven or eight floors high. Not a single light could be seen from outside. The government had to be out of their tree to think it was ok to set up shop in a place like this. It crawled with a deep, dark energy I could only describe as malevolent.
“Where do we even begin?” Brogan sounded reluctant. “Should we all go in? It feels bad in there. Scary bad.”
“It does,” Arys agreed. “It feels like they’re waiting for us.”
“They?” Jez echoed.
“The spirits. They know we’re not all human. They’re intrigued.” Arys was looking a little intrigued himself. Perhaps too intrigued.
“If we all go in, it could seem too aggressive,” I spoke up. “I want this to be as peaceful as possible. There are two people in there I care about. I’m not looking for a fight.”
Arys met my gaze with a spark of excitement in his blue eyes. “Someone should wait outside. It would be wise to leave two people out here. If we run into trouble in there, having backup would be nice.”
“Volunteers?” I asked.
“I’d be happy to wait out here.” Jez raised a hand. “This place scares the ever loving crap out of me.”
“Ditto. I’ll stay here, too.” Quiet and apprehensive, Brogan volunteered with a small wave.