I stared at her intently, searching her for the source of such profound pain. We’d all loved and lost before, but she’d never mentioned anything so soul-breakingly painful.
“You sound like someone who knows.”
In a blink, she buried the pain I’d seen, going on as if it had never been there. “We’ll go spring him out of the pen. It’ll be fine.”
Brogan watched our exchange with a sympathetic frown. “Love’s a real bitch, isn’t it? The last man I fell for, I mean really fell hard for, was married. I didn’t know until eight months into the relationship. He’d been leading a double life. Boy was he lucky I’m a white witch.”
“Men, women, vampire, human,” Jez muttered sourly. “It doesn’t matter. Someone lies, cheats or generally f**ks up, even when it’s meant to be. Love is a sadistic bitch.”
“So does that mean you’re not seeing Zoey anymore?” I steered the conversation in a lighter direction with a wink and a knowing smile.
Her demeanor changed immediately. Smiling coyly, she fluttered her long lashes. “Oh, I’m definitely seeing her. Seeing a lot of her.” She blew a kiss at me through the mirror.
Brogan let out a low whistle, and I laughed. I wanted nothing more than for those I loved to be happy. Still, I couldn’t help but worry a bit; Zoey was a lunatic. Although, I might hardly be the right person to throw around words meaning crazy.
We fell quiet when Brogan indicated she was ready. Her earthy energy rose up to warm me. It had a soothing quality that reminded me of Lena. I held my breath while watching her do the spell. What was I going to do if this didn’t work?
Eyes closed and brow creased, Brogan whispered Latin words I couldn’t understand. A gentle breeze swept through the room, lifting her blonde hair but touching neither Jez nor me. The cross lay before her, untouched. It began to glow with a faint light.
All at once, both the wind and the light vanished. Brogan’s eyes opened and she nodded. “I can feel him but it’s difficult. It’s been masked. I used the cross as an amulet by channeling the energy I was picking up. We should be able to use it as a tracker of sorts.”
“Damn,” Jez whistled. “Impressive, Brogan.”
“Thanks. It was nothing big though.” Despite her genuine modesty, the young witch beamed.
She held the cross out to me, and I accepted it gratefully. It hummed with energy, Brogan’s and if I concentrated hard, Kale’s, too. The cross was linked to him now. Fascinating.
“Well,” Jez hopped off the counter and gave her golden locks a toss. “Let’s go give the government hell.”
I walked out of the bathroom and straight into Shaz. He was lurking in the hall outside the door, waiting for me. Arys leaned against the wall a few feet away, his arms crossed and his stance casual.
“Are we good to go?” Arys asked.
I nodded, my heart in my throat. “Yeah. It’s all good.”
Pushing away from the wall, Arys inclined his head toward Shaz, giving me a pointed look. “I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”
Jez and Brogan followed him, leaving Shaz and me alone to stare at one another awkwardly. I didn’t know what to say. I knew if I waited until I was ready for this conversation, it would never happen. I could never be ready for this.
Shaz’s jade eyes were filled with remorse and sorrow. He seemed at a loss for words, finally spitting out, “Alexa, God, I’m so sorry.”
He was. I genuinely believed him though it didn’t make this any easier.
“I accept that. And, I want to forgive you. I just…”
“I know. Trust me, I know.” He ran a hand through his hair and glanced in Arys’s direction. “I didn’t think I’d ever get over the two of you being together. I know it’s not the same situation. Not even close. Still, I know what it’s like.”
Whether he meant to or not, he threw a guilt trip at me with that one. Fair enough. I couldn’t argue that perhaps the way my relationship had developed with Arys had been wrong and unfair to Shaz.
“I know you do,” I admitted, finding it hard to swallow around the lump in my throat. “I never gave you enough credit for how well you handled everything with Arys and me. I’m sorry for that.”
“Don’t.” He ran his hand through his hair again, noticed his nervous tell and stuffed both hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Don’t make this about who messed up more. I’ve had time to think about everything, do a little research. I know how important a twin flame union is. No more guilt about Arys. Ok?”
Absolute relief filled me, but had it come too late to save us?
Shaz continued. “I have no reason or excuse for what I’ve done recently. It was selfish and I’m sorry. If I could take it back, I would.”
“Thank you. For all of it. It means a lot.”
“I need to make things right between us. I hate what I’ve become. This is not what I pictured for myself when I fought Julian for Alpha. I need to get my shit together. For me and for you.” He reached out to take my hand. His palm was hot, his energy scattered. “So, I’m leaving town for a while.”