Kale’s gaze dropped as if he couldn’t look into my eyes when he said, “I wish we could take everything back and have it be the way it was before.”
I stared at him with shock and dismay. His words hurt. “What gives, Kale? You’ve been a very willing participant so far. Don’t you dare accuse me of seducing you. I’m not taking the blame for anything else tonight.”
He released my hand suddenly, as if touching me was painful. “If only it had been as simple as that. This isn’t lust. It never was.”
No, it never had been. My anger deflated, and I no longer wanted the illusion of escape the bottle allowed me. I shoved it away with a sigh.
I didn’t know how to react in this situation. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the possibility that my choice to save him from Shya may have been the wrong one.
“So what do you want from me, Kale? I can’t take it back. I don’t even want to. And, I sure as hell won’t kill you myself.”
His eyes flashed with annoyance. “You can’t take this seriously, can you? Never mind. I should know better than to expect you to understand.”
He got up and turned to go. I grasped his wrist with more force than I intended. Our energy collided, creating a spark that lit up the area around us. Our eyes met, and the anger burning in Kale’s enchanting gaze slipped away.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I blurted, pulling my hand back. Something in those amazing eyes led my thoughts down a forbidden path. “I should go.”
“Let’s go somewhere quiet.” Kale took my arm and steered me along. “This isn’t the right place to talk privately.”
“In the back?” I dug my heels in. “Where you have your own private little playroom? No way. Bad idea.”
“Not in my room. Just in the hall.”
I let him pull me through the door that separated the club from the madhouse. We entered into a dimly lit sitting area furnished with a few bistro tables and two black leather couches.
A hallway branched off either side. One way led to the back of the building, to the bedroom where Shaz and I had killed Arys’s sire, Harley. That had been a hell of a night. The opposite end of the hall led to the parking lot exit. That door was rarely used by anyone except those frequenting the back rooms.
The lounge area was empty; everyone was lost in his or her own private world behind the closed doors lining the hall. An array of differing energies swept through as if pushed by a sinister breeze. Fear, lust, hunger. That was just scratching the surface. Goosebumps broke out on my skin in response to the sense-stirring atmosphere.
Kale pulled out a chair for me at the closest table, but I shook my head. I couldn’t sit still. Instead, I stood behind the chair, gripping it until my knuckles turned white. Kale perched on the arm of a nearby couch. He’d put a good six feet or more between us, evidence that the swarm of pulsating energy was teasing his senses, too.
“Now,” he gestured for me to speak. “You have a lot on your mind. Let’s hear it.”
“I feel like I’m going crazy,” I began, my words coming in a rush. An invitation was all I needed to let it all spill out. “It’s like I’m breaking down, and I can’t save myself from what’s coming. Lilah put the hit out on me. My sister comes back from the dead. My relationships with men are all kinds of f**ked up, and I can’t help but think it’s because I f**ked my mother’s lover. Where does Freud stand on that one?”
“You can’t beat yourself up over that. It was a long time ago, and you didn’t know.” Kale said softly. “You’re the strongest person I know. Strong enough to make a deal with a demon to save someone you care about. Weak people don’t do that shit, Alexa. Weak people don’t have hits out on them.”
“I’ll bet a lot of crazy people do.” My lower lip trembled, and before I could censor myself, I was telling him everything: the twin flame revelation, Shaz’s bad reaction to it, my internal conflict over my sister and why she had never told me she was alive.
Kale listened attentively, showing no emotion or reaction as I spoke. His poker face was good, not so much as a twitch during the twin flame stuff.
“I shouldn’t be dumping this all on you. I’m sorry. It’s been pretty overwhelming.”
“Of course it has. That would be enough to break most people.” His head tilted slightly, as Kale regarded me thoughtfully. “You aren’t most people, Alexa. You can handle it. Besides, it’s all good news for the most part. Your sister is alive, and now you know where your bond with Arys comes from. You should be happy.”
My inner cynic wasn’t too quick to agree. From the look on Kale’s face, he didn’t find any joy in what I had shared. Still, a silver lining could be found if I could look beyond the gathering storm clouds. It didn’t all have to be bad. What I’d needed most was to get it off my chest, and now that I had, I was already feeling better.