We faced off across the living room, adversaries in the heat of the moment. Arys brought out my feisty, defensive nature like nobody else. I think we both enjoyed the conflict; we fed off the fire.
“So, if you guys are done,” Shaz broke in. “Well, even if you’re not done, I’d like to state for the record that I think finding out who has a hit out on Lex is more important than arguing about whether or not she can take care of herself. I think she’s more than capable.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. His support meant a lot, but it would have meant more if he hadn’t just been getting his rocks off with someone else. It wasn’t fair of me to think like that.
Arys smirked and Shaz gave him a derogatory look. It still astounded me how much Shaz had changed since we’d first met. I tried to pinpoint exactly when he’d matured from a frightened teenager to the Alpha wolf he now was. Had one specific event brought it forth, or was it always there beneath the surface? The years had gone by so fast. So much had changed, including us.
“I can’t let myself be intimidated by an ass**le with a crossbow. I caught that damn thing, Arys. Inches from my face.” I refused to let him plant the seed of worry. “I know I’m not invincible, but I have power, and I’m finally learning how to use it.”
“We’ll find out who it is,” Arys declared. “But in the meantime, all I ask is that you be careful. Don’t be so reckless.”
He was hiding something, some thought or fear. There had been a time when Arys considered my ties to the human world to be little more than an inconvenience. What had changed?
The vampire looked between Shaz and me, contemplating. “As long as you’re here, pup, there’s something else you should know.”
“What?” Shaz was immediately suspicious.
I shook my head and shot Arys a warning glare that he ignored. Keeping his gaze on Shaz, he told him all about the journal and the twin flame revelation. Hearing the twin flame information repeated didn’t make it any easier to swallow. If anything, it was harder because I was coming to accept it as true.
My white wolf looked devastated. He sat heavily on the end of the couch, staring at the floor. “So it’s not just circumstance. You’re really part of him.”
I knew what he was thinking. He was wrong. I exchanged a look with Arys. He must have seen the helplessness in my eyes.
“Don’t miss the point, pup,” he said. “Alexa and I are halves of a whole, but we were never meant to exist together. Not without a reason. And, the odds of us finding out what that reason is before our bond destroys us are slim.”
When Shaz looked up, he had a heartbreaking weariness in his eyes. “I think I knew. Somewhere deep down inside, I knew it would be him.”
“It isn’t like that.” I went to him, grasping his hand desperately. “I always said you balance out what he does to me. It’s true. I need you.”
I truly did. Shaz had always been my source of comfort, my wolf, the one who made me feel like I belonged somewhere. I had always felt that he was just as much a part of me as Arys was.
“I am a danger to her, Shaz. It’s you that grounds her.” Arys’s expression betrayed nothing, though his tone held a somber note. “We’re bonded outside the natural scheme of things. If I’d remained mortal, I never would have known her. But, you still would have.”
Shaz let out the breath he’d been holding. “This is a lot to process. It’s just so… huge.” He turned intense wolf eyes on Arys. “Why the hell did you wait so long to tell her?”
There was silence as the two of them stared into one another. Shaz always rolled with the punches better than I did. Now that he’d accepted what we had told him, he wanted to know more. He stared expectantly at Arys who wore a mask of guilt.
“I wasn’t sure I’d ever tell her,” Arys admitted. “But, some people know about us. And, it’s changing her. Keeping it to myself wasn’t going to stop that. I only wished it would.”
I wasn’t surprised to hear that. “You’ve got to stop that shit, Arys. You can’t hide anything from me. It’s always going to come out.”
“I know. Try to see it from where I’m standing. I never knew if I’d find you, and now that I have, I don’t want to lose you.” To his credit, he had the decency to look chagrined.
His tendency to hide information and criticize my decisions was at the heart of most of our arguments. Seeing the raw emotion in his blue eyes made it hard to be angry.
“I understand. As hard as this is for me, I got the better deal. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you.”
Arys gazed at me with those entrancing eyes. There was a seductive pull to his energy. It was manipulative, getting under my skin like a metaphysical itch.