“Yes, all of that and more. The potential is there. Whether or not he knows how to use it remains to be seen.” Kale met my eyes then, his gaze heavy and intense. “There are incredible downfalls to being a dreamwalker. He can never sleep without entering a dream that belongs to someone else. What he chooses to do there is in his hands for the most part. You want to talk about spying, what better way to sneak a peek at an enemy than by taking a walk through his subconscious?”
And, that right there was exactly why Shya wanted this kid. The poor bastard. Seventeen years old, and his life was already over. And, he didn’t even know it yet.
“Poor kid,” I muttered. “He has no idea what’s in store for him. I don’t like being on the opposite side of this, the one watching.”
I went cold inside. I acted like I had some control in my partnership with Shya, but that was merely an illusion he allowed me. A sinking sensation threatened to swallow me. Every moment I spent watching the silhouette of the teenager inside playing videogames made it worse.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I blurted, weariness in my voice. “I just want to hunt some scumbag vampire that gets off on killing kids or something. You know? I don’t want to watch people get sucked into the dark by a demon. I can’t help Shya do to others what he’s done to me. And, to think of how many years I never knew that he was always there, behind the scenes.”
For the first time since Kale and I had met several years ago, I wondered if he had ever watched me like this. How close was he to Shya? I didn’t really know. Over the years, I had often had Kale at my side during a hunt, a constant shadow.
I visibly shuddered. Goosebumps rose on my arms, and I rubbed them uselessly. It had to be the paranoia talking. Kale would never do something so shady. Our friendship was authentic, not based on a lie.
After several minutes passed, Kale broke the strained silence. “You have your own role to play, Alexa. Only you can decide what that is. Being associated with Shya doesn’t make you anything like him. He’s not a silent force in your life anymore. You’re not a caged animal. Don’t let him make you think you are.”
“You’re right, I know that. The past month has been overwhelming. I’m still adjusting.” I blew a lock of hair out of my face. “But, thank you. You always know what I need to hear.”
Kale was quiet for a moment, contemplative. “Hey, thanks for getting Jez to see me. I know you had something to do with that.”
I shrugged as if it was no big deal. In actuality, I’d had to beg, threaten and cajole Jez endlessly before she’d agreed to meet him. “It was easy. She just needed a push.”
A few minutes passed in silence. It was a comfortable quiet though. I was relieved. It was starting to feel the way it used to with Kale, easy-going and relaxed. No need for strange tension and awkward moments. I was starting to think we could get past the events of last month.
I hesitated for just a second before deciding I had to share this. “The FPA is investigating the death of Abigail Irving. My sister is one of their agents. Not only did she survive the wolf attack, she claims Shya split us up. He got me and the FPA got her. Now, she’s hunting me, and I think she knows it.”
That got Kale’s eyes rolling. “Don’t worry about the FPA. If they come for you, then they come for me, too. We shared that kill. You’re not taking the fall for that one.”
I was surprised at how quickly he shrugged it off. “You’re not concerned? I have enough people after me. I don’t need the damn government pinning me for a murder. Oh hell no.”
“Your focus should be on the hit and finding out who you have to kill for it.” Concern lay heavy in his eyes when he looked over at me. “I can’t imagine who would want to take you out, but please promise me you’ll be careful. I think I’d die if anything happened to you.”
The discomfort we’d both been successfully battling settled over us like a heavy blanket. The love that could never be. Our story would have no happy ending; it was impossible. And yet, we were so inextricably, emotionally entangled.
I found it hard to meet his eyes and searched for any reason to break contact. “I guess this means I’m really big time now. Is this some kind of rite of passage or something?”
“Take this seriously, Alexa. We need to find out who’s got it in for you. Don’t be reckless or careless. That just makes it easy for them.”
“I know. I appreciate your concern. Really, I do.” Guilt settled in to taunt me for my suspicious thoughts a few minutes prior. How could I think he would be capable of double-crossing me?
“You know I would do anything for you.”
“Don’t get yourself killed for me. I mean it, Kale. I can handle this. I’ll deal with it somehow. But, I don’t want anyone I love getting hurt because of me.”
Strained silence settled over us as we both sat with the awareness that this was as close to acknowledging our feelings as we were going to get. Everything we could say had already been said. We had to move on.
Chapter Six