Craving Redemption

Chapter 63

Grease

I was having a shitty week.

First, I got pulled over and arrested, then the club’s lawyer told me the DA smelled blood in the water and it looked like the judge was going to make an example out of me, and finally, something was up with Callie. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but when she’d called me back Friday night, she’d seemed off.

I wasn’t sure if she’d fully understood what I was telling her when we’d spoken, but she didn’t ask again to visit. I was pissed at myself that I’d told her no, because I missed her like hell, but I knew that the drive would be horrible for her and I wasn’t good company anyway. I was on the f*cking chopping block, waiting for the blade. The wait was worse than the punishment because I f*cking knew I was going to see the inside of a cell again, and not knowing how long I’d be in was driving me insane.

We had a f*cking baby on the way. A son. And I was pretty sure I was going to miss the first part of his life. There was a slim chance that I’d be out in four months, but I wouldn’t even let myself think that it would be a possibility. No, I’d be locked up and probably miss a ton of shit.

It made me sick to think of Callie going through all that alone. I knew that her Gram would be with her every step of the way, but I wouldn’t. I wasn’t going to get to see her waddling around and complaining about how her back hurt.

I was going to miss the excitement of her water breaking, of the contractions that would make her hate me, and the relief on her face when some doctor finally gave her the drugs she needed to take the edge off. I was going to miss her sweaty hair and tired face, and the way I knew she’d look at me—like I could make everything better.

I was going to miss the look on her face when she saw our son for the first time.

It hurt like hell.

I’d spent the week getting my shit in order. I made sure that someone would deposit money into my account periodically, checked and rechecked with Poet and Slider to make sure they’d keep an eye on Callie, and paid all of Callie’s bills six months in advance so she wouldn’t have to worry. I didn’t want to leave anything to chance; I didn’t want anything to worry her when I couldn’t be there.

I’d also called my girl constantly that week. I had nothing to do while we waited, so I spent the time with her. Well, as much as I could with her being hundreds of miles away. We were spending more time on the phone than we ever had, discussing everything from politics to baby names. We even discussed what would happen while I was inside—how she’d need to deal with the accounts, how to shut off my cell phone once I didn’t need it, the boys in Sacramento she could call if she was having car trouble. We talked about everything except whatever was bothering her and had her going silent for full minutes at a time while I wondered what the f*ck was wrong. It went past the ache we were both feeling at the thought of being separated. Something was happening with her and I had no clue what it was or how to f*cking fix it.

I was stuck in Eugene, waiting for the inevitable, while something ate at her in Sacramento—and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

Over a week after I’d been released, it was time for my court date. I rode with the lawyer to the courthouse, but I didn’t have anyone else with me. The lawyer had told Slider that his and Poet’s notorious faces might hurt my chances and I didn’t even mention anything to Dragon or Tommy. I didn’t want them to see me looking like a chump, being cuffed by some fat f*ck cop, so I was on my own.  As soon as we arrived, the lawyer stepped out of the car so I could make one last phone call.

“Hey!” she answered calmly, a smile in her voice.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I hated the fact that I was going to be wiping that smile away. “It’s time.”

“What? I thought you had a few more hours! I thought—”

“Sugar, we went over this. We knew it was coming,” I corrected her gently as I slid my sleeves down my arms and buttoned them around my wrists. I couldn’t hide the tattoos on my neck or the ones on my hands, but I didn’t think my full sleeves of ink needed to be on display.

“I know,” she whimpered dully, sniffing into the phone.

“Now, we went over everything so you shouldn’t have any problems, okay?” I told her urgently as I heard car doors shutting and the lawyer tapped on the driver’s side window. “I’ll have one of the boys call you once we know what’s going on.”

“Okay.” I heard her sniff again before her voice grew stronger. “I’m fine—we’ll be fine. You just do what you need to do, and I’ll wait.”

A lump formed in my throat as I opened the door and climbed out of the car. F*ck, but she’d grown up since I’d met her as a scared sixteen-year-old girl.

“I love you,” I told her fervently as the lawyer started ushering me toward the front doors.

“I love you, too—so much.”

“Be strong, okay? This’ll be over soon, I promise, and then we can finally move you up here and be a family,” I promised frantically as we joined the line in front of the metal detectors and I patted down my pockets, making sure I hadn’t accidentally dropped my pocket knife in there like I usually did.

“Don’t hang up!” she sobbed hysterically, making my chest feel like it was imploding. “I’m not ready! Don’t hang up!”

“I love you, Sugar. Stay strong,” I answered calmly as I heard a rustling on the other end of the phone.

“Hey, Asa,” Cody greeted while I heard Callie sniffling in the background. “I got her, you just worry about your shit. Take care.”

The click of the phone call ending made me flinch.

I was standing with my hand over my face and my phone dangling from my fingertips when the security guard called for me.

Once the lawyer found the right courtroom, we walked in silently to find some seats, and my heart raced as I saw the back of a familiar gray head sitting two rows from the front.

“Rose?”

“Asa,” she called back with a nod as she stood from her seat.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, confused. I thought she’d be in California taking care of Callie.

“I’d never let one of mine face something like this alone,” she told me firmly, motioning with her hands so I’d lean toward her.

The minute my head was lowered, she pulled a blue checkered tie out of her purse and wrapped it around my neck.

“Get that top button,” she ordered as the courtroom started filling up. After I’d followed her direction, her fingers started flying as she knotted the tie.

“There, now you don’t look like a hooligan.”

“I don’t think a tie is gonna make a difference,” I told her sincerely, afraid that she was envisioning a far different outcome than I was expecting.

“Doesn’t matter. You know you did your best to put the right foot forward, that’s what’s important,” she stated seriously, smoothing down the tie with her gnarled fingers.

“We need to take our seats,” the lawyer interrupted behind me.

“My lawyer,” I informed Rose with a motion of my hand.

“Yeah, the suit tipped me off,” she replied wryly, scooting down the aisle so there was room for the three of us to sit.

When we got situated in our seats, I felt the walls start to close in around me. F*ck. Jail time wasn’t shit; I’d done it before, no problem. But the thought of leaving Callie was like a lead weight in my gut. I was pulling at the collar of my shirt when I felt a small dry hand settle onto mine.

“Nothing wrong with your shirt. Stop fidgeting,” Rose ordered quietly, facing straight ahead.

Her hand in mine and the no-nonsense tone of her voice had me instantly pausing, and I took a deep breath as I squeezed her hand.

“Thanks for coming,” I whispered back.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she assured fiercely.

We had to sit through two other cases before it was time for mine, and she held my sweaty palm the entire time. When they called my name, she gave me a squeeze and let go as the lawyer and I stood.

“It’s time, son,” she murmured, looking intently into my eyes. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” I looked down at her as my heart beat frantically and my head began to throb. “I’m ready.”

Nicole Jacquelyn's books