Craving Redemption

Chapter 60

Callie

“Where is he?” I asked Gram as I paced the waiting room of my doctor’s office. The ultrasound technician was running half an hour late, so it was twenty minutes past my scheduled appointment time and Asa still hadn’t showed.

“Probably running late,” she answered calmly, flipping through a magazine. “You know he can’t call you when he’s on the road.”

“He would have stopped to call if he was going to be late,” I worried, chewing the inside of my cheek.

“Or he’s riding like hell to get here and won’t take the time to stop,” she told me firmly. “Now sit down and calm down.”

I dropped heavily into the seat next to her and watched my phone. There were no incoming or missed calls, and the longer I went with no word from Asa the more anxious I became.

“Calliope?” I turned my head when the nurse called me from the doorway to the exam rooms but couldn’t make myself stand.

“Well?” Gram asked impatiently. “Let’s go darlin’.”

I drug my feet as I made my way to the nurse, looking behind me a few times in hopes that Asa would be walking through the door.

“Can we wait a couple more minutes?” I asked her almost desperately as we met her in the doorway.

“Sorry, hun.” She looked at me sympathetically. “We’re already so far behind, you’d have to reschedule.”

I looked at Gram for validation, hoping she’d assure me that we should come back, but her lips were pressed into a flat line. My mind raced as I thought it over, but Gram’s hand on my back had me walking through the door and toward a room before I could come to a decision.

“No need to get undressed,” the nurse told me as she set my chart on the countertop. “Just pull your shirt up and your pants down a little. The tech will be in soon.”

She shut the door behind her as tears filled my eyes.

“Calliope Rose Butler, you look at me,” Gram snapped fiercely, pressing both hands against the sides of my head and pulling me close until we were almost nose to nose. “I know you’re disappointed, baby. I know you’re worried and anxious and God knows what else. But seeing your baby on that screen and hearing them tell you if you’re having a boy or a girl—that only happens once in a lifetime. Once, Callie. You’ll never get this moment back.”

I nodded and sniffed as she studied my face.

“You get up there and get ready to see that baby, and you leave everything else outside that door. It’s got no place in here with you and me.” She kissed me quickly and took a step backward, giving me a swat on the hip. “Crawl up there so you’re ready when the guy gets in here.”

I worked at pushing everything else out of my head as the female ultrasound tech came in and started chatting. I didn’t hear a word she said because I was so busy trying to filter out everything happening outside the room. It hurt that Asa wasn’t with me, but we’d known for weeks when the appointment would be. If he’d wanted to be there, he would have.

I watched intently as she used the computer to measure my little bean, tracing little lines over its head and torso and labeling different body parts. I was so intent on the baby that she startled me when she spoke.

“Do you want to know the sex?”

I looked at Gram who’d stood from her seat across the room to watch the monitor closely.

“Let’s do it,” she told me with a nod, grabbing my hand tightly.

“Yeah. We want to know,” I answered, searching the tech’s face for an answer before she spoke.

She turned back toward the monitor and started moving her mouse around again. “You see that right there? You, my dear, are definitely having a boy.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, stunned.

“I’ve been doing this for five years, and I’ve been wrong twice. I’m reasonably certain,” she told me with a smile as she stood from her seat and handed me a row of black and white photos. “The doctor will be here in a few minutes after he goes over the results.” She gave a small smile before exiting the room.

“A son,” Gram murmured quietly, running her hand down my hair. “There’s nothing in the world like it.”

I ignored her teary eyes, knowing she wouldn’t appreciate if I made a big fuss about it, and cleaned the goop off my belly. The doctor came in a few minutes later, giving us the all-clear on all the test results, and I left the office in a daze, thankful that Gram had driven me to the appointment.

We were having a son, and Asa had missed it. How could he have missed it? I swung between worry and fury as we rode home. How could he? Where the f*ck was he? I would have known if he’d been in an accident. I was listed as his next of kin on a little card in his wallet—someone would’ve called me.

I’d no sooner had the thought than my phone started ringing shrilly in my purse and my stomach dropped.

“No. No. No,” I murmured as I fished it out and saw an unknown number on the caller ID.

“Hello?” I answered frantically.

“Hey, little girl.”

“Poet? What’s wrong? Asa was supposed to be here this afternoon and he never showed.” My words were tumbling over each other in my panic as I stared blankly out the windshield.

“Asa’s just fine—”

“Then where the f*ck is he?”

“He ran into some problems on his way down this morning…”

“Why am I just now hearing from anyone? What the hell is going on?” I asked as Gram parked the car and I threw myself out of the car so I could pace.

“Just heard about it myself. Called you first thing.”

“What. Is. Going. On?” I snapped back.

“Asa got arrested this morning, and he had to use his call to phone Slider—”

“Arrested?” I whispered, my stomach dropping. “What happened?”

“Not sure of the details yet, just wanted to let you know that he’s fine. He was real insistent that I call you soon as I could.”

I pressed my hand to my head, feeling dizzy all of a sudden, and I felt Gram wrap her arm around my waist, ushering me toward the stairs.

“Okay, well let me know...”

“I’ll keep you updated. Don’t worry, darlin’, he’ll be out before you know it.”

I climbed the steps wearily as Poet hung up, and I couldn’t even answer the questions in Gram’s eyes, I was so bewildered. Why would he have gotten arrested on his way to me? It didn’t make any sense and my mind was spinning.

“Baby daddy stood you up, huh?” Farrah mumbled around a mouth full of what looked like shredded wheat cereal. My heart sped up as I stared at her in disbelief. She looked like shit. Her hair was matted on one side and there were half-circles of mascara under her eyes. She’d probably just woken up after her bender last night, and she’d been passed out cold while I’d been freaking out for the last two hours.

“F*ck you, Farrah!” I screamed, throwing my purse at her and knocking cereal all over my couch. “You’re such a f*cking bitch!”

I felt Gram’s hand on my elbow, but I was too overcome with emotion to pay any attention to her.

“What the f*ck did I do?” Farrah yelled back, standing from the couch.

“It’s all about poor f*cking Farrah! Farrah has had such a shitty time that she treats everyone around her like total crap!” My hands clenched into fists as she stared at me in disbelief. “I should’ve moved to Oregon by now!” I screeched, the veins in my temples throbbing.

“F*ck you! I didn’t ask you to stay! Move to f*cking Oregon, then!” she sniped back, sliding her feet into shoes. “I didn’t need you to stay here, Callie. I got along fine without your ass.”

As she was finishing, Cody walked through the door, his face a mask of fury. “What the hell is going on? I could hear you yelling from Gram’s.”

“Your sister’s got a stick up her ass because her boyfriend never f*cking showed and now she’s taking it out on me,” Farrah replied, folding the blanket I’d thrown over her the night before when she hadn’t made it to her bedroom before passing out. “Apparently, everything is my fault because I got the shit beat out of me and had the bad f*cking luck of having my boyfriend killed, too. I’m such a f*cking burden because she felt obligated to stay instead of starting her own f*cking life.”

At her words, I lost all steam and was suddenly exhausted. “I stayed because I love you,” I told her, tears filling my eyes. “But you don’t even care. You don’t even care that I’m five months pregnant and went to my ultrasound today. You don’t care that I postponed my entire life to make sure you were okay.” I paused, hiccupping. “I needed you today and you were passed out on the couch, and the minute I walk in the door you make some stupid f*cking comment without once asking if everything was okay, because it so obviously wasn’t.”

I shook my head and walked toward my bedroom. “I’m going to take a nap, Gram. Can you keep my phone in case someone calls?”

“Yeah, baby girl. I’m gonna run to my place and get some potatoes for dinner and I’ll cook over here tonight,” she told me gently. “You get some rest.”

I heard Cody and Farrah start to argue as I reached my room, but they went silent as Gram’s angry voice roared through the apartment.

I barely crawled into my bed before I began to sob.

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