“You didn’t call me back.”
“I was waiting for you to man up and come see me in person.”
“Here I am.”
“I can see that.” Ethan shook his head. “You were gone, Josh. You’d been a part of my life, a part of my family’s life and then you just disappeared. Do you know how that made my mom feel?”
Josh felt his gut roll. “No, but I know it was bad.”
“Worse than bad. Mom loved you like you were one of her own. She kept a goddamn scrapbook of your racing career.”
Josh wished there was a nearby rock. Crawling under it would feel better than this.
“I f**ked up,” he admitted.
“You sure did.”
They stared at each other.
“The accident wasn’t my fault,” Josh said at last. “You ran into me. I’m lucky I didn’t go down, too.”
Ethan leaned back in his chair, but didn’t speak.
“You got hurt,” Josh continued. “It happens. You moved on, you’ve got a great life. Look at this place. It’s what, double the size it was when your dad ran it? And the windmill company. You’re a success.”
“I know.”
Ethan wasn’t giving anything away, which really pissed Josh off. He stood.
“I’m done feeling guilty. It’s not my fault that you had to give up racing. I’m done paying for it. I was wrong to stay away and I’ve apologized for that. So you need to get off my ass.”
Ethan waited a couple of seconds. “You about done?”
“Yeah.” Josh sat back down.
Ethan leaned toward him. “I was never on your ass.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I never blamed you for what happened.” A smile flashed. “I had that race locked.” The smile faded and his expression hardened. “After the accident, you didn’t come to see me in the hospital. You were like a brother to me and you didn’t want to get close, in case getting injured was something you could catch.”
Josh shifted on his seat, feeling ashamed and stupid. “It wasn’t that,” he began, then shook his head. “No. It was that. You were great, Ethan, and I knew if it could happen to you, it could happen to anyone. So I stayed away. I’m sorry.”
“We were like brothers.”
Josh nodded.
“You kept staying away.”
“I didn’t know what to say,” Josh admitted.
“I figured.”
“What? Then why didn’t you come talk to me?”
“I knew you’d be back one day.” Ethan looked smug. “I just didn’t think it would take ten years. Of course I’ve always been the one with the brains. And the good looks.”
“In your dreams.”
There was more to say. More to explain and apologize for, but that would come later. Right now, the first step had been taken. All he could think was how much time he’d wasted—they’d both wasted. Gladys was right—men were idiots.
Josh stood. “Want to go to Jo’s and get a drink?”
“Sure.”
They headed out. Nevada was still on the phone. She stopped talking and stared at them as they left.
“You’re going to be getting some calls later,” Josh said, as they headed for Jo’s.
“From the girls and Mom. Should make for an interesting day.”
They walked into the bar and grabbed a table against the wall. A few of the women already there looked twice, then went back to watching some dating reality show. Jo walked over.
“The usual?” she asked.
Josh nodded. Ethan did the same.
She glanced between them. “You two kiss and make up?”
“There wasn’t any kissing,” Ethan said. “Unless you’re offering.”
She rolled her eyes. “You so couldn’t handle me.” She walked back to the bar.
Josh glanced at his friend. “Jo?”
He shook his head. “No. We flirt, but it doesn’t mean anything. She’s not my type.”
“Since when do you have a type?” Josh asked, then wished he hadn’t. Ethan had been married. He’d loved and lost in the worst way possible. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. So I hear you’re competing again.”
“It’s one race.”
“That’s all it takes to get back in the game.”
Josh wasn’t sure he wanted to be in the game. Right now he was mostly interested in proving something to himself.
“It’s been a long time,” he said. “I’ve been riding, but not seriously.”
“That has to change.”
“I know.”
“It’s all about fundamentals,” Ethan said. “Get back to the basics. Training and focus. There’s an element of luck when you win and being prepared is the best luck you can bring to the game.”
Ethan grabbed a couple of napkins and together they sketched out a training schedule. Grueling, Josh thought as he stared at the breakdown, but worth it. He didn’t tell Ethan that winning was the least of it. Right now competing would be enough of a win.
Josh finished the last of his beer. After tonight there wouldn’t be any more drinking. His diet would be as strict as his training schedule. He didn’t have much time to get in the best shape of his life.