“Of course, I have been. I’ve been with you and Harlow.”
“Grandma said you haven’t been the same since Mommy died. And Uncle Cam said you needed to get back in the saddle again. Is that why we came here? So you could ride horses?”
“Ava, you need to stop eavesdropping. It’s not polite. What Uncle Cam meant is that I needed to get back to work.” I lie. “Next weekend, you can see our house. See if you like it.”
“I loved the pictures, Daddy. Hey, who is that? She’s pretty.”
I look up and see Vanessa.
And she looks pissed. Hand on her hip. Lips pursed. And even though she has sunglasses on, I can feel the daggers coming from her eyes.
“Why don’t you go play some more. I need to go talk to her.”
“Okay, Daddy!” she yells, running off.
Keatyn & Aiden’s home - Asher Vineyards, Sonoma County
VANESSA
I watch Dawson cheer on an adorable little dark haired girl, who kicks a soccer ball into a goal. She runs straight to him and leaps into his arms. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and they have an animated conversation.
Soon, another beautiful girl, taller and older, sits down next to him. They seem to be having a more serious conversation, and I’m mesmerized by the way he looks.
You can feel his love for his daughters all the way across the soccer field.
I’ve been pissed the entire trip here, but seeing him with the girls—who look just like him—softens me. I can tell he’s a good father.
He gets up and walks toward me.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” he asks. “Please.”
“I suppose,” I say, irritated that he wants me away from his kids.
He takes my hand and leads me to a Gator. I sit down and he drives us up the hill. If I weren’t so pissed, I’d be enjoying the scenery.
As soon as he stops, I tear into him.
“Why didn’t you tell me you have children? After all that we’ve shared these past few days. I opened up and told you things I haven’t told anyone else! Is that why you didn’t invite me to come with you?”
“Vanessa, calm down,” he says.
Which I hate.
I don’t fucking want to be calm right now. I can’t be calm right now.
“I was going to tell you the other night,” he says, softly. “But then you told me about your miscarriage and how you can’t have children. I could tell how devastating that was for you. It just seemed like a really bad time to tell you about my girls. Like I was throwing it in your face.”
“You had plenty of other chances.”
“I wasn’t keeping it from you. It’s just . . .”
“It’s just what?!”
“Well, first of all, you told me you had plans with your dad all weekend.”
“And what else?”
He runs his hand through his hair and sighs. “I’ve been nothing but a dad for the last two years. The last few days, you’ve made me feel like a man. And, honestly, I was afraid to tell you.”
“Why?”
“I overheard my aunt telling my mom that I’d probably never find someone because of my—and I quote—baggage. I know you want children. We haven’t been together long enough to talk about if you only wanted yours, or if you could open up your heart to someone else’s. I’m a package deal, Vanessa. And I don’t even know if you are interested in me long-term, let alone the rest of the package.”
“Why wouldn’t I be interested in you?”
“Riley told me that since Bam, you haven’t wanted a relationship. I don’t know if I’m just a notch in your belt or if there could be more, and I’ve been in California for all of five days.”
My heart sinks.
And I hate the feeling.
I feel desperate. I know it’s only been a few days, but I want more. I want everything with him. My heart wants it all, but my head thinks I must be crazy.
“Do you want more?” I say quietly, half hoping he won’t hear me.
“I want to get to know you better. It’s important I do. I need to be careful about who I bring into my children’s lives.” He stops and looks into my eyes. “And I know it sounds crazy because, on one hand, it feels so fast, but the answer is yes, because, on the other hand, it feels like it’s been a long time coming.”
Tears flood my eyes.
I don’t want to cry, but I do.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because it feels like it’s been a long time coming for me too.”
He wraps an arm around my waist, pulls me close, and gives me an epic kiss. A kiss so full of emotion, it sends the tears streaming down my face.
He looks at me and chuckles. “That kiss was way too good for you to be crying.”
“I’m just happy,” I say, turning into a pile of mush around him.
“I have to admit, the other night when I wished that you would find big love, happiness, and children, I was hoping you’d find those things with me. Because if you got all your wishes, I’d get mine too.”
His admission takes my breath away.
And I can’t stop crying.
What is with all the crying?
“Would you like to meet my girls? Can you stay for dinner? Stay the night?” he asks.