The last letter has my dad’s name on the front. Inside it says: I’m sorry. Please give these to her.
I read through them all, mesmerized by my mother’s words. The first letters are sweet and have pretty good advice. Others seem very old-fashioned, particularly the one about protecting my virtue. Others seem, I can’t put my finger on it but, off. The handwriting is harder to read and the words are jumbled.
But, wait. My mom died in an accident.
I look up and see my dad standing above me.
“I didn’t give you those as she requested.”
“Why?”
“Your mother’s death was officially ruled an accidental overdose. She mixed antidepressants with alcohol.”
“But . . .”
He holds his hand up. “I know. Why the letters? I thought the same thing when I found this box in your bedside table a few weeks after she died.”
“So, it wasn’t an accident?”
“I don’t think so. I never told anyone. I didn’t want them to think differently of her. Particularly, her family.”
“That must have been hard on you. Do you have any idea why she did it?” I ask, knowing there was a time in my life when even I didn’t want my life to go on.
“She suffered from depression and was on medication. I thought she was doing well. We’d even considered having another baby. The note was a complete surprise.” He sits down next to me, tears shining in his eyes. “Vanessa, was I a good father?”
“Yes, Dad,” I say, hugging him, tears filling my own eyes.
“I worked a lot. I regret that.”
“You taught me to have a good work ethic and you were always there when I needed you.”
“I’m proud of you, Vanessa. You went through a lot, but you never gave up.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I hug him tighter. “Speaking of never giving up, do you think maybe it’s time you started dating again?”
Dad smiles. “Actually—”
“Actually, what?” I say, my eyes getting big. “Are you seeing someone?”
He blushes a little. “Cora.”
“Are you serious? She’s been your assistant for fifteen years!”
“Yes, and apparently I’m blind because she says she’s been interested for most of those years.”
I give him another squeeze. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I’m happy for me too. I know things went badly with Bam, but don’t let that stop you from letting yourself feel again. Find a man who loves you—truly loves you—and nothing else really matters.”
“Can I tell you something personal?”
“As long as it doesn’t have to do with sex.”
I laugh. “I’m sort of seeing someone.”
“Really? Tell me about him.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying that I’m seeing him, because it seems too soon to say that, but I can’t stop thinking about him. His name is Dawson Johnson.”
“Is he related to Riley?”
“They’re brothers. It’s a crazy story, really, but we met at Keatyn’s eighteenth birthday party. We kissed and danced all night, but didn’t stay in touch. Somehow, I’ve never crossed paths with him again until the other day when he came to work at Captive. He’s so handsome and sweet. He’s a widow. His wife died a couple years ago and he took it hard. Hasn’t worked in two years. But we’ve hung out and we’ve talked and kissed.” I stop babbling and laugh at myself. “I sound like a teenager.”
“Sounds like you should go see him,” Dad says.
“He went up to the vineyard for the weekend, but he did call me last night and said he misses me.”
“Maybe you should go up there and surprise him.”
I nod my head. “I think you’re right, Dad.”
I drive home, pack an overnight bag, and am back in the car in a flash.
As I’m heading to the airport, I call Keatyn. “Hey, I just got done at my dad’s place and thought I’d head up that way. You have room for me?”
“Of course we have room.”
“It’s always so relaxing there.”
“Oh, I’m not sure how relaxing it will be this time. Dallas is here with his four kids. Knox decided to come up. Aiden is still working on the barn and, of course, Dawson is here with his girls.”
“Dawson brought girls with him?”
“Not girls, like dates. Girls as in, daughters. They came out for the weekend.”
“He has kids?”
“Yes, two beautiful little girls.”
“He didn’t tell me. Why didn’t he tell me? God dammit. I’ll be there shortly.”
“Vanessa, I can tell by the tone of your voice that you’re pissed Dawson didn’t tell you, but don’t you dare come up here and make a scene. Not in front of them. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I agree not to make a scene, if you agree not to tell him I’m coming.”
“We just had a picnic and now they’re riding horses to the pond. I probably won’t see him for a while.”
The whole way there I’m racking my brain, wondering what it means that he didn’t tell me.
Keatyn & Aiden’s home - Asher Vineyards, Sonoma County
ARIELA
“Sorry, I’m late,” I tell Keatyn, getting out of my car. “I stopped at the winery to see Maggie.”