Chapter 23—Seventeen Seconds
THE DREAM IS so vivid that I do everything I can to fight my way out of it, but nothing works. I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to feel the pain and fear all over again, but I can do nothing to stop it. I see it all as clearly as if I’m living through it one more time.
The first time was bad enough.
The second time just might kill me.
I watched as the match in Jordan’s hand fluttered to the ground, almost in slow motion. If only the fire that spread out between us as soon as the tiny little flame hit the ground moved as slow. I screamed at the top of my lungs, scrambling backwards as fast as I could. My hands and feet tangled together on the carpet and I slammed down onto my back as the fire closed the distance, the gas that coated my legs no match for the beast that latched onto me. I watched in horror as the flames rapidly swallowed my legs like the mouth of a fire-breathing dragon. I screamed in fear and agony as the heat singed my skin and scorched my flesh, the pain so intense I almost wanted to just let it take me.
Jordan stood by the door with a look of horror on his face as I ripped the robe from my body and wrapped it around my legs, smothering the fire as I kicked them across the ground and continued to scream in pain, inching across the carpet that was almost completely engulfed in flames from the gas he’d dumped.
I felt the fire licking against the skin of my side and hips as my back slammed against the corner of the wall. Rolling over onto my hands and knees, I cry and sob in pain as I slither on my belly across the tile in the hallway until I make it to the stairs. I crawl up each step as fast as my burned skin will allow. I’ve never felt pain like this before and it steals the breath from my lungs. I just needed to make it upstairs, up to one of the bedrooms where there was no smoke or fire. My entire body hurt so badly that I wasn’t even sure if my skin was still burning or not. As soon as I got to the top step, a hand grabbed onto my hair and yanked me roughly backwards.
“No! You can’t leave!” Jordan screamed as he tried to drag me back down the stairs. “The fire will erase everything. It will make it all go away. We need to make it go away!”
I couldn’t go back down those stairs. If he got me back down there, I would die. I would never be able to make it out of this hell and I can’t let that happen. I WON’T let it happen. Collin will be here soon. The neighbors must have seen the fire by now and even though Collin’s department isn’t the one that will respond, he’s still on his way here after his shift. Collin will be here. I just needed to hold on for Collin.
Drawing on every bit of the little strength I had left, I pulled my elbow forward and then slammed it back between Jordan’s legs. He immediately released his hold on my hair and fell to his knees behind me. I let out the loudest, blood-curdling scream I could muster as I dove forward and crawled the last few feet into my spare bedroom, slamming the door closed behind me to keep the smoke out.
The burnt skin of my legs and stomach scraped across the carpet as I inched my way closer to the window. I just needed to get to the window. There was fresh air and freedom through that glass. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I bit back more screams of pain as I collapsed a few feet from the window.
It hurt so much. Everything burned. I was afraid to look down at my body, sure that my skin had melted off by now. I was in agony and the coughs wracking my body from the smoke I’d inhaled amplified the pain until I felt my vision start to fade. I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the window above me, willing the pain to disappear. I couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted it to end.
From somewhere far away, I heard someone scream my name.
Collin. He came.
The burning of my skin engulfed me until there was nothing left but pain.
I knew he’d come. I knew he’d save me.
I counted my breaths, each one more painful than the last until I felt my heart begin to slow.
Thirteen
Fourteen
It hurts, oh, God it hurts so much.
Fifteen
Sixteen.
My eyes slowly closed as my last breath escaped my lungs.
Seventeen.
I’m screaming. The pain is so great and my voice is so loud but I can’t make it stop, even when gentle hands smooth my hair away from my face and a soft voice tries to quiet me. My eyes fly open and I feel tears pouring down my cheeks as I stare frantically around the stark, white room. An oxygen mask is quickly placed over my face as I’m lightly pushed back down in bed. I sob quietly as the dream comes back to me in flashes.
The fire.
The burning.
The pain.
The words from what must have been my ambulance ride after I’d been rescued from the fire float through my mind over and over and I cry even harder.
There’s no way McDaniels is still alive.
There’s no way McDaniels is still alive.
There’s no way McDaniels is still alive.
Maybe they were wrong. Maybe the drugs they gave me were playing with my mind and I misheard them. It can’t be true.
With a shaking hand, I reach up and move the oxygen mask away from my face as the nurse sticks a needle into my I.V. and pushes the syringe down, the pain medicine quickly making its way through the tube and spreading into my veins.
“Collin, where’s Collin?” I ask her with a raspy voice.
She looks at me in confusion as she pulls the blankets up around my body and tucks me back in. I remember the paramedics saying something about a fall. I remember hearing him scream my name and I know that wasn’t a dream. He was in the house. He came to save me.
“The man who was in the house with me. Is he here?”
I watch the confusion leave her face, quickly replaced with sadness that she’s unable to hide. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. He didn’t make it out.”
She moves the oxygen mask back over my face and starts talking about my injuries and how long it will take me to recover. I don’t even hear her words. The pain in my chest hurts greater than the throbbing of my scorched flesh. Ignoring my bandaged legs and stomach and the I.V. attached to my arm, I roll over onto my side and curl up in a ball. I never thought my heart could possibly break a second time for Collin, but it does. It shatters into a thousand little pieces when I think of his smile and his touch and how he saved me, in more ways than one. I’ll never recover from this pain. I’ll never be able to put my heart back together again. I squeeze my eyes closed and wish that I had died in the fire right along with him.